Elegant Musings

You, Your Image, and Everyone Else

2012-02-29T09:31:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered why our society has become solax? Why is it perfectly acceptable thesedays to run around in tracksuits, peppering our language with slang andoffensive terminology, basking in our lack of elegance and refinement whileoffering our middle finger to anyone who doesn’t like our loud-and-proudattitude? Like or leave it, someone oncetold me.

I don’t like it, and I just can’t leave it.

For you see, my friend, we’ve got a full-force ripple effecthappening. Our croc-wearing, tattoo-bearing,attempts-at-daring affect others. Kidstoday are unfamiliar with the term ‘dressing for the occasion’ because they’venever witnessed it. Recent college gradswho grew up with a grand sense of entitlement don’t understand why theirmulti-piercings are keeping them from landing a job. Women of ‘a certain age’ don’t understand whytheir bawdiness has yet to attract the perfect partner. “I mean, it worked for the gals in Sex In The City, why isn’t it workingfor me?” they ask.

Like it or not, we are judged by how we communicate, and wecommunicate through many different avenues each day: the words we speak, the clothes we wear, ourmanners, our mannerisms – I could go on. It’s the Total Package Effect andI speak to so many women about it: youcan look great, but if you don’t speak greatly or act greatly, others will notperceive you as great.

So my question today is this: what, exactly, are you trying to communicate? If you desire attracting certain people orsituations into your life and you’ve yet to manifest them, you’re image couldbe holding you back.

I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times.

One’s image plays a significant role in her overall success,both professionally and personally.

I think a key element that leads to an ‘image downfall’ isthe acceptance of the status quo. No oneelse dresses up for church, so why should I? Everybody enjoys fast-food on aregular basis, so why shouldn’t I? Everyone else watches garbage on Television,so why shouldn’t I (side note: garbagein, garbage out. I learned that a longtime ago, and it’s very true. Thinkabout it.)

Because it leads to stasis, and a lifestyle in stasis is alifestyle in crises.

We should all strive each day not only to look our best, butto speak our best and BE our best. We’vegot to get over this weird ‘let’s just be comfortable and let it all hang out’mentality and take ownership of our lives and our image. We must recognize that our choices affectothers – and not necessarily in a good way.

We’ve got to get over our laziness and stop accepting thingsthat simply shouldn’t be acceptable. Ifnot, I shudder to think of the fruit the upcoming generation will bear. They’re looking to us and following our lead,so if we want better for them, we must be better ourselves.

Be the change you wantto see in the world – Gandhi

What is it you’d like to see?

Beth Newman

Image Consultant, Mentor, Author

www.newmanimage.info

ps...I've got a new e-course starting next week. It's called Your Image and You: Who Do You Think You Are? For details go to http://newmanimage.info/In_The_News_.html

The Type of Person Who....

2012-02-22T09:23:00.000-08:00

I tend to be a bit wary of people compelled to beginsentences with “I’m the type of person who…”, for it’s been my experience that they’reusually way off the mark when describing themselves. I also find it a bit strange because theyseem to be opening up a dialogue in which they’re the star attraction. As we all learned in our high school speechclasses, communication is a two-way street. As we learn from self-improvement gurus, it’s better to listen ratherthan to speak. So I find it baffling thateven though we’ve been taught not ramble on about ourselves, so many of usspend a great amount of time doing it.

And doing it poorly.

Madonna encouraged us years ago to ‘express ourselves,’ andfollowing her lead, we did it. Madonnais a self-promoting genius; we commoners – not so much.

In an age in which our personal revelations can be, well,revealed, by the click of a button, many people assume that the general publicgives a hoot-and-a-half about what sort of person we are. We’re much too busy talking the talk and notwalking the walk.

I expect the spiritually in-tune woman who starts her daywith some sort of uplifting New Age-y thought to remain there, and not tell methrough her late night tweets how drunk she is.

I expect the man who proclaims to love and support women toactually love and support women, and not belittle and yell at them in theoffice.

I expect people who turn their bodies into walking billboards to come from some sort of hard-core place, not the PTA meeting.

It’s attention these folks are after, but what they don’trealize is that they’re getting it for the wrong reasons: many of us are bemused, really, by yourseemingly duplicitous lifestyle. You sayyou’re this, but you turn out to be that.

We know who you are, not what you are, because of youractions. Maybe you want to be the personyou’re describing, but you’re not, darling.

Self-expression is important, don’t get me wrong. There exists, however, more sophisticated andelegant ways of doing it. Living whatyou’re expounding – that’s a start. Getting to truly know who you really are – always a crowd-pleaser. Experiencingreal interactions with real people rather than by electronic means – why notgive it a try? Focusing on others rather than yourself – bingo! Reaching out inlove and compassion in order to help others – right on!

At the end of the day, we’re remembered for what we did,rather than for what we said.

Beth Newman

Image Consultant, Mentor, Author

www.newmanimage.info

Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

A Lasting Legacy

2012-02-13T10:23:00.000-08:00

Sadly, I bid a final good-by to an associate of mine the other day. I’d only known her a short while, but I liked her very much. I worried about her. I learned a great deal from her. In the end, however, I was astounded by her.

You see, my associate kept her business just that – her business, so you can imagine my surprise when I discovered certain things about her during her memorial service. Things like her philanthropy (award-winning philanthropy, I might add). Things like her adventuresome, beach-loving nature (I had no idea we had the sand and sea in common), her vigilant commitment to style and fashion (she never told me she met Tim Gunn, but lo and behold, there she was, photographed with him following some sort of fashion event).

Discovering these aspects about her made me realize how exceptional she really was. Showered with wondrous opportunities and accolades, she handled all of it gracefully, with dignity, and quietly.

I'm afraid we don’t see too much grace, dignity, and silence these days, do we? In this age of social media, everybody’s a celebrity. Constant status-updaters and tweeters, revealing the minutia of their daily lives, have carried the ‘Look At Me’ mentality into their personal encounters. We’ve a lot of people talking (about nothing, really), and too few listening.

Had my associate talked a little more, we probably would have become great friends, for we shared many of the same interests and possessed similar demeanors. Had she only spoken up, those of us who knew her would have understood just how ill she was in her final months. She never complained, though, and we all hoped and prayed that she’d get better. She didn’t.

I suppose that’s why I can’t suffer foolishness right now. I prefer my communication with others to be short, sweet, informative, helpful, enlightening and entertaining. I go absolutely mad hearing complaints about mild tummy aches, sinus pressure, and paper cuts. My associate spent the last few weeks of her life incredibly frail and, at age 51, needing the assistance of a walker just to get to the powder room. You’ll get by with that wart on your thumb, trust me.

I don’t mean to come across as uncaring in the previous paragraph, but my associate’s death really made me realize how silly we all can be. We take things for granted, and get too wrapped up in ourselves to do what we’re really here to do: to love one another, and to leave this world better than we found it.

Following her memorial service, I vowed to do more to make my community a better place. I’ve recommitted myself to keeping apprised on the latest in fashion, education, and writing because that’s how I make my living and resting on my laurels certainly won’t get me any further than I currently am, professionally speaking. I’ve also promised myself to have more fun, remove myself from social-media marathons, and to really go out make the most of each day. I shall love more, listen more, and laugh more.

And I shall never forget this amazing woman, her legacy, and the impact her life story had on me. Thank you,dear heart,and may you rest in peace.

Tuning and Tapping

2012-01-24T10:07:00.000-08:00

I know firsthand what occurs when one defines himself or herself with a title:

“I am a teacher.”

“I am a writer.”

“I am a salesman.”

“I am a doctor.”

“I am a professional monkey-trainer.”

(Side note: I can only claim the first two, but am quite interested in conquering the last one.)

Anyway, we get too caught up in titles because oftentimes we define ourselves by those titles. We forget that there’s so much more to us than by how we make a living.

That’s why I encourage you to tap into and tune into Other Areas of Interest, which may include but are not limited to: volunteer work, pursuing a hobby, learning a new language or skill, traveling, and such. ‘Tapping and Tuning’ allows us to grow as humans. It allows us to discover new things about ourselves and the world around us. I think, too, that it makes us happier, more creative individuals.

Stretching ourselves is vital to our well-being. We must never accept complacency or mediocrity. We must remain vigilant in our desire to expand our horizons.

Our day-in-day-out routine can make us weary. We could end up in a rut. We may simply begin accepting things because ‘that’s how they’ve always been’. Yet they don’t have to be. Yes, we have responsibilities and obligations, but that doesn’t mean we must limit ourselves.

When you were a child, I’m sure you had some big dreams. Revisit those dreams, and see if you can find a way to tap into them in some way. Perhaps you wanted to be a singer, so why not join a community chorale group or your church choir? Maybe photography was your thing. Grab a camera and get to it!

As a kid, I grew up watching – and loving- the CBS soap opera, Guiding Light. I recently starting writing fan fiction based on the show. Yes, I know it’s incredibly silly. I realize very few people will take the time to read it, but it’s something I enjoy doing. It’s something that’s completely different for me. I find it a fantastic little diversion that keeps me from getting bored.

I encourage you to spend a little time today ‘Tapping and Tuning’. Step into an unfamiliar area and see what happens. If one thing doesn’t get you going, then choose another. Recall those ideas that excited you as a child. We were never meant to live merely by titles. We were meant to enjoy ever-evolving and fun lives!

Now, if I could figure out how to incorporate monkey-training and writing soap opera fan fiction, I’d have it made in the shade with pink lemonade.

Beth Newman is an image consultant, mentor, and author based out of Houston, TX. For more information about her, she invites you to visit her website at www.newmanimage.info.

Baby, If You've Ever Wondered....

2011-12-12T08:53:00.000-08:00

Just the other day, my inbox contained a very nice – and surprising – message. It was from a wonderful gentleman with whom I had the good fortune to work with during my radio days. I’ve not seen nor spoken to him in the last two decades, but he’d been on my mind recently, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to hear from him. Out of the blue. Just like that.

After the initial “How ya doing/what ya doing/” back-and-forth, my friend asked me whatever happened to our former boss, a man (and I use the term loosely here) I’ll simply refer to as Old Shan. Old Shan served as our station manager. My friend hosted the morning show, and yours truly was simply referred to as ‘The Afternoon Girl’. Anyway, Old Shan left quite an impression on my friend and me – and it’s not the impression he wanted to leave, I’m sure.

To put it bluntly, Old Shan was not a nice person.

Old Shan was not an emotionally stable person.

Old Shan might be your best friend one day, and your worst enemy the next.

I can support the above statements with the following examples: yelling, cursing, snap decisions, reversals of those snap decisions, poor business judgments, poor hiring choices, sexual harassment, manipulation, and far too much unpaid overtime.

And these all happened on our ‘good days’.

I stuck it out there for over a year, so you can imagine my reeling head when I finally wised up and left.

I’d often thought that perhaps it was just me. As the only on-air girl (and that term applies – I was only 21 or 22 years-old during this stint), I assumed that I was the problem, and that all of Old Shan's big and little rants actually meant something. Perhaps I wasn’t working hard enough. Perhaps I wasn’t doing my job effectively. Perhaps he didn’t like women. Perhaps he simply didn’t like me. I didn’t understand it then, but looking back, I realize that it wasn’t me.

It was him.

He treated everyone on staff deplorably.

During our exchange, my friend recalled some of his own Old Shan experiences, which were, of course, quite similar to my own. He said he’d often fantasized over the years about tracking him down and giving him a piece of his mind. I confessed I’d done the same thing, but because I truly believe in karma, I’m hopeful that Old Shan has learned a lesson, and has come out better for it.

And I have to hand it to Old Shan, for he taught me how to better deal with a couple of other ‘bad bosses’ I’ve had over the years. I suppose he entered my life in order to teach me that the world is made up of all kinds of people, and if you want to get anywhere in life, you’ve got to learn how to effectively deal with them. It’s okay, too, I learned, that if you can’t deal with them, you can certainly leave them. No need to get bogged down in someone else’s bad mojo.

A job is a job is a job….do what you love, do it well, and reap the rewards.

My friend is doing just that. He’s still in radio (God bless him!), and he’s tapped into another passion of his – he opened his own bike shop. I’m delighted for him, and so glad to reconnect with him.

Beth Newman
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
‘Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!’

Hosts, Guests, and other Malcontents

2011-11-22T12:22:00.001-08:00

With Thanksgiving just a couple of days away, ‘tis the perfect opportunity to remind you, Sweeties, of how to host, how to guest, and how to generally not make life-long enemies this time of year. Remember, our image goes much deeper than the clothes on our backs: part of it includes our ability to entertain graciously within our homes, our dedication to being the best possible guest ever, and most importantly, to leave everyone wondering, “How does she stay so pretty throughout the day?”

Hosts

Don’t Kill Yourself – In our modern world, it’s quite easy to have someone else do the heavy lifting. I haven’t put it to paper, but I would venture to guess that you can cater your Thanksgiving meal just as affordably as you could should you go ‘the old-fashioned route’. I know for a fact that you can easily feed 6-8 people their turkey, stuffing, gravy, and dinner rolls for $39.99. Have your guests bring additional sides and pies. This way, you won’t have to get up at 4:30 am Thanksgiving morning, nor will you spend the biggest part of the day in the kitchen (unless you simply have to do so in order to get away from ‘those people’)

Spot Clean – Cleanliness is next to Godliness, so you should really take a good, hard look at yourself if your home requires more than a bit of dusting and mopping before your guests arrive. Those newspapers stacked up aren’t really newsworthy anymore, and what is now referred to as ‘The Bathroom Mishap of ‘88’ should have been dealt with back in ’88, don’t you think?

Look Smashing – Nobody likes an unkempt hostess. Go out of your way to wow your guests with your charming style. Avoid track suits, crocs, a bathrobe, or an oversized sweatshirt. Your guests will be so impressed by how fabulous you look that they won’t notice the overcooked turkey and undercooked mashed potatoes.

Keep On Hand – aspirin, Tums, extra wine, toilet paper, Diet Coke (only if your father-in-law is Larry Newman, and if he’s not, what’s he doing at your place and not mine on Thanksgiving?) Benadryl (if you’ve got guests who are allergic to cats), and a good sense of humor.

Guests

Bring Something – it’s in poor taste to show up at someone’s home without a little something –something for the hostess. She went to a lot of trouble to look nice for you. A little trinket of some sort, in addition to the side dish you’ve been assigned, is a nice gesture. Guests who bring me things I like (for example, a good bottle of Merlot), are sure to be invited back next Thanksgiving.

Arrive On Time, and Not Any Earlier – your hostess needs those last few minutes in order to go over last-minute, vital details (place settings, false eyelashes, the usual)

Look Before You Sit – My old cat, Kramer, seldom moves from his spot on the couch these days. Please don’t sit on him.

Don’t Complain – Nobody wants to hear your gripes, particularly if they’re aimed at the hostess or her home.

Don’t Touch That Dial – Never take the liberty of turning on a television that doesn’t belong to you. If you simply must catch ‘the big game’ on Thanksgiving, stay home to do it.

Leave and Don’t Come Back – when I was growing up, we developed a peculiar tradition of spending most of Thanksgiving Day at my grandmother’s house, then leaving, then going back that evening for leftovers. This only created extra work for my grandmother. Leave at a reasonable hour, take leftovers if you’re invited to do so, and let your hostess get on with her business (tidying up, napping, finishing up that Merlot you brought, etc.)

Common courtesy and good intentions go a long way on Thanksgiving. Be on your best behavior, look your best, and enjoy a blessed day with your loved ones. Cheers, Sweeties!

Beth Newman
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

A Fashion Review: The CMA Awards

2011-11-10T09:07:00.001-08:00

What started out as a mind-numbing exercise of ‘seeing what’s on telly’ last night turned into a great deal of work, thought, and snarky comments. I’m talking about the CMA’s, celebrating the alleged best and brightest of country music. I’ve been a fan of country music since I was a little girl, and although not much of it today could actually be considered ‘country’, there are a few current artists I enjoy. Of course, me being me, I paid particularly close attention to the fashion, and offer you my thoughts -and a few lessons- we can take away from it all. (The focus is primarily what we saw on stage, not the red carpet, by the way).

Keep it simple – while our hostess, Carrie Underwood, looked smashing on the red carpet, her constant outfit changes and over-the-top styling absolutely exhausted me. I realize I’ll take some heat here, but I found each of her looks too fussy. Too much makeup, too much hair, and overall contrived, stiff wardrobe choices. The key to true style is that it should appear effortless, and Ms. Underwood looked anything but. I imagined her backstage with a team of twenty people, all of whom spent the commercial breaks powdering, combing, embellishing, and stapling her into outfits.

Fit is vital – Female Vocalist of the Year Miranda Lambert looked fine in her purple dress, but she needed to pay attention to the fit. She spent most of her acceptance speech tugging at the top of the dress in order to keep from coming out of it.

Black is slimming….sometimes – Sara Evans’ all-black ensemble was a snooze fest and could have certainly done with some bling. Ms. Evans needs to remember that when wearing form fitting pants, even in darker shades, Spanx will work wonders in smoothing the silhouette. Television can be terribly unforgiving, and that’s a lesson Hillary Scott from Lady Antebellum needs to remember. Ms. Scott is not a size 2, and that’s okay, but she would have looked much slimmer and more put together had she worn a top with some sort of sleeve and gone up a size in her trousers.

Dress for the Occasion – Because I work a great deal with young girls, I keep a very close eye on Taylor Swift, one of the current darlings amongst the younger set. She looked very pretty and appropriate on the red carpet, but her choice of a simple sweater and blue jeans during her performance left me baffled. You’re on television, Sweetie, and considered a style icon – take it up a notch!

Pretty much every male who took the stage could have done the same. It’s an awards’ ceremony, and must be treated with a sense of occasion. Blue jeans, ball caps, and sunglasses just don’t cut it, as far as I’m concerned, so I have no choice but to give my ‘Snappy Gent’ award to Vince Gill, who was the only gentleman to perform in a suit.

I’m Not Sure What it Is, but I Like It– I’ve taken a shine to The Band Perry, the family act that took home The Best New Artist Award. Front-woman Kimberly Perry looked lovely in what appeared to be a vintage dress straight out of the 1940s, while her brothers, Neil and Reid, look like throwbacks to the 1970s. Their look truly seems authentic, not something thrown together by marketing ‘geniuses’. I dig it!

Of course, I wouldn’t be me unless I included some thoughts on certain behaviors throughout the evening:

Classy – Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, and Vince Gill performed a beautiful tribute to legend Glen Campbell, who has embarked on his farewell tour following his recent diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. All three gentlemen not only looked great, they performed with an incredible amount of sincerity – and sincerity, in all that we do, is really what it’s all about. Mr. Paisley gets an extra nod for respectfully removing his hat when Glen Campbell took the stage.

Not Classy – I had no idea who Luke Bryan was until last night’s award show, but his performance entitled, ‘Shake it for Me’, along with a bevy of scantily –clad dancers had me absolutely reeling. It wasn’t country, it wasn’t classy, and I pray to God I never see anything like that again.

So today’s moral, boys and girls, is this: country can be sophisticated, and simplicity and sincerity in our words, actions, and manner of dress, shall always win out in the end.

For pics from last night’s show, visit http://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/music/step-right-up-jason-aldean-blake-shelton-join-elite-at-country-music-association-awards/2011/11/09/gIQAoATL5M_story.html?tid=pm_entertainment_pop

Beth Newman
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Holiday Simplicity

2011-11-09T08:46:00.000-08:00

Two weeks before Halloween, several shops in my neighborhood began decking their halls.

Two minutes after Halloween, not a ghost or goblin graced store shelves. They’d been replaced by Santa and his reindeer.

Christmas tunes already blare at one shopping strip near my home.

And it’s still two weeks until Thanksgiving, that seemingly forgotten holiday.

I don’t believe for one minute that the yuletide rush has anything to do with the true ‘reason for the season’; it’s simply a brash, bold move in the name of commercialism.

That’s right – I believe our society is one of over-the-top consumerism. Manufactures and retailers know this, and they play upon us to ‘get it now’, ‘get it while it’s on sale’, ‘get it so your children will love you’, and that sort of thing.

Personally, I’ve had enough of them telling me what to do because, quite frankly, I choose to live simply. I don’t have a lot of stuff. I don’t want a lot of stuff.

I don’t need the newest, most high-tech device out there because I like what I currently have. According to my husband, I’m a notorious purger – I simply don’t like anything unused taking up space in my house.

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t understand the big whoop in having a lot of material things. That’s not what the holidays should be about, and it certainly isn’t what life should be about. Some of the most miserable, unhappy people I know are the ones who can (and do) go out and buy any old thing any old time they want.

Keep it simple – that’s my motto. I’ve seen children delight in gifts I’ve given them from The Dollar Store just as much as when they receive gifts I’ve given them from The Fifty Dollar Store. Perhaps if adopt a more childlike (rather than childish) stance, the holidays would be less mentally, emotionally, and financially stressful.

I’d love to see us all take a more elegant approach to giving, receiving, and celebrating this time of year. That means we refrain from camping out in front of stores as Black Friday approaches. It means we steer clear of gigantic inflatable outdoor monstrosities that pass as ‘decorations’. It means realizing that the biggest isn’t always the best, and when we do what we do from the heart rather than for show, we’ll all be better off in the long run.

So I encourage you to celebrate thoughtfully and simply this season.

Beth Newman
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Respond So Very Promptly

2011-10-31T10:34:00.000-07:00

One thing I absolutely love about this time of year is that it signals the official launch of Newman’s Own Party Season! Sure, spring and summer parties are fine, but I much prefer those that occur during the fall and winter months because: a) we have snazzier fashion choices, b) we’re offered snazzier food choices, and c) there’s less sweating.

And even though it’s a party, certain rules exists that one must follow, the primary one being that of the RSVP. The RSVP is a request for a response from the invited person. It comes from the French phrase répondez s'il vous plaît, meaning "Please respond". That’s your cue to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. It’s quite simple, but not practiced as diligently as it should be.

I have been guilty of a last minute RSVP recently. Although it was a family ‘do, I verbally responded to the key players, but I didn’t officially notify the hostess until a couple of days prior to the event. Shame on me. I felt terrible and vowed never to leave a hostess hanging in such a manner because I know what it’s like to have potential guests who don’t commit. Having learned my lesson, I shall now pass my vast knowledge of party etiquette on to you.

The ‘Maybe’ option on an invitation (we see them quite a bit on electronic invitations) drives me mad. A decent host will issue invitations weeks before a party, and your selection of ‘Maybe’ sends the message I’ll come, unless I find something better to do. Typically, a host will request an official ‘yes’ or ‘no’ by a certain date, so there’s really no need to respond immediately with a ‘maybe’. Your host needs an accurate head count in order to know how much food to prepare and how much wine to have on hand. If you actually show up to the party, still on the ‘maybe’ list, you may be out of luck when it comes to cheese ball portions and the good wine.

‘Yes’ responders are my favorites, particularly when they show up. Should you RSVP a ‘yes’ and are struck by an illness, family emergency, or a recent arrest, contact your hostess immediately, offering your regrets. That’s classy, especially if you’re the latter and it’s your one opportunity to make a phone call.

‘No’ responders usually feel the need to explain why they can’t attend. I don’t need an explanation, but word to the wise: I party by the Three Strike Rule. If I’ve invited you to three different parties and you’ve yet to come to one, you’re off the list, especially if you’ve responded ‘maybe’ to each one and have yet to show. I take a tough love approach to throwing parties.

As much as I adore going to parties, I simply can’t make them all, unfortunately. I work wonky hours sometimes, which keeps me away from a few shindigs. My husband works nights, and, call me old-fashioned, I don’t go to parties without him unless it’s hosted by a family member or is one of those ‘Girls Only’ type of things (Pampered Chef parties, bridal showers, baby showers, etc.) held in someone’s home or in a restaurant (I won’t go if it takes place in a club – especially if it’s a baby shower (tacky) – because, as a happily married woman, I don’t believe I have any business hanging out in bars without my husband present, even if it is with ‘the girls’. I didn’t always feel this way, but after a Come to Jesus moment a few years ago, I realized this is what’s right for me. It may not be right for you, and that’s okay. You’re not me, and I’m not you, so let’s just band together and practice individuality, shall we? ) I mention this because I get many invitations to clubs, thanks to the number of musicians I know who want me to come to their shows, and I simply want to set the record straight. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s always me. When I must turn down a request for my presence, I’m always sure to thank the hostess for including me on her invite list.

The point of this little musing is to remind you that it’s common courtesy to respond promptly and accurately to your party invitations. The pointer point of it is to let you know that the size of my cheese ball depends on you. And I take my cheese balls very, very seriously.

Beth Newman
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Shop Smart!

2011-10-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

Alright, Sweeties, we’re down to the wire: it’s officially shopping season! If you’ve not yet hit the stores in order to snag some fabulous new fall finds, you must hop to it! Before you do, however, remain mindful of the following:

Inventory – shop from your closet first. If you didn’t wear it at all last season, chances are you won’t wear it this season. Get rid of it. Make a list of what you need in order to revamp your wardrobe. This includes not only your clothing, but your shoes and accessories as well.

Budget- yes, you can be frugal and fabulous. Most stores and boutiques are already offering markdowns on fall merchandise in order to make room for incoming holiday collections. Stay within your budget. Get on customer rewards programs offered by most boutiques, and take advantage of the deals and coupons they offer.

Do Your Homework – look online for looks you love, and visit only those stores. I limit myself (and my clients) to two places during any shopping excursion. Call ahead to insure those stores carry what you’re seeking (not every store sells what is available online). Some boutiques will allow you to call ahead and hold certain items providing you’ll be in within 24 hours.

Be Classy – use those coupons, but don’t ask for a ‘double dip’. Carefully consider having a sales associate ring your items up under several different transactions in order to use several different coupons, particularly if the store is crowded and you won’t save that much more money in the long run by having her do so.

Show Some Respect – After trying on clothes, re-hang the ones you’re not taking and leave them neatly in the fitting room. The sales associates are not your personal maid service, nor are they your personal punching bag. Always remain kind and considerate to those who assist you.

Wear Proper Undergarments – If you’re shopping for cocktail attire, don’t wear a jogging bra. Wear your Spanx to insurer a smooth silhouette.

Child’s Play – Never allow your child to roam freely in a store. Not only does this put the child in danger, it could also present a liability to the store. Small children and boutique shopping really don’t mix, so do try to leave the kids with a sitter while you shop.

Return to Sender – Should you discover that recent purchases won’t work for you, return them to the store in which you bought them. Stores take a ‘hit’ anytime you return, and it’s not really fair to penalize Boutique North because you changed your mind about what you bought at Boutique South. Most online purchases include a return address label – use it.

Remain focused, smart, and considerate – happy shopping, Sweeties!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Beth’s book, 365 Days of Fabulosity, is now available through Amazon!

Classy Warfare

2011-10-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

I read the headlines each morning. I scan all of your Facebook posts and tweets. I review the stories brought to me weekly by Star magazine. I try to stay well-informed, and in doing so, I’ve come to the following conclusion: classy people are few and far between these days.

Classy People are those who simply live their lives, doing their best to bring a little fabulosity into the world. Ruled by the greater good, rather than their own ego, they share what they feel might be interesting, entertaining, or inspiring to others.

Non-Classy People do just the opposite. They’re crass, bothersome complainers who definitely possess a membership card from the doom and gloom club: the world is ending, and it’s all the government’s fault. A slight sniffle is most likely a symptom of something deadly, because, after all, everything will kill you nowadays. Never trust a rich, white man – you know, that sort of thing.

A sub-section of the Non-Classy People consists of the Attention Whores. With social media, everyone’s a celebrity. I believe that with that ‘celebrity’ comes responsibility: be smart in your posts; today alone I’ve seen everything from vomiting jack-o-lanterns to bitch-slapping cats. Not classy.

A good wit – that’s classy. People doing their own thing and helping others to succeed at doing their own thing – that’s classy. Parents who force their children to write thank-you notes – that’s classy.

Talking on your cell phone in public – not classy. Bragging about your hangover from your binge last night – not classy. Proclaiming yourself as a princess or diva – not classy.

Hang on – I’ve got more:

Leaving the party a tad early – classy.

Hanging around long after the party’s over – not classy (just plain sad, at that point)

Treating your spouse with respect - classy.

Badmouthing him to others because he’s being himself – not classy.

Treating your wedding as simply the first step toward a long, happy life of teamwork – classy.

Proclaiming that your wedding is ‘your big day’ or ‘your time to shine’ – not classy.

Delight when others dig the people/places/things you dig – classy.

Possessiveness over the people/places/things you dig – not classy.

I could go on, but rambling is not classy. And I, as a disciple of fabulosity and all things elegant, know that I must keep class in the forefront of my mind. I invite you to join me on my classy mission. Let’s rise up, have some fun, and put the kibosh on the negative messages hurled at us each day. The world isn’t doomed, nor will it end because you have an undiagnosed rash. Sure, Jennifer Aniston still graces far too magazine covers, but perhaps if we stop buying those magazines, she’ll go away. Maybe if we turn off the so-called reality TV, somebody, somewhere might re-introduce us to quality entertainment. We’ll all be better off if we simply live our message rather than preach our message. A little outreach is good – being in someone’s face isn’t. Classy Warfare is on - who’s with me?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Beth’s new book, 365 Days of Fabulosity, is now available through Amazon

Coming On Strong

2011-09-29T08:27:00.000-07:00

Given recent events that have occurred in my life, I feel I have no choice, boys and girls, but to address an issue that I’ve discussed before: coming on too strongly in social situations.

Nothing will rob you of your fabulosity more than doing so.

Not only will others consider you a pest, but you’ll ooze an unattractive sense of desperation. Take note, therefore, to avoid the following:

Dominating the conversation – it should never, ever be about you. A charming gal, or guy, will ask questions of others and listen intently to the replies offered. Steering a conversation into the ‘all about me’ category is a huge turn-off, as is incessant rambling about any-old-thing. Someone of few words, who quietly possesses that certain something, will receive plenty of attention with great ease.

Cornering – I have been the victim of cornering, and it’s no fun. No one has the right to back another into a corner in order to discuss his divorce, his work-out routine, or the ugly shirt he recently bought in France. Trust me, if a woman wants to be backed into a corner, she’ll give you the vibe (and I have never emitted that vibe, even when I was single). Pick up on vibes – or the lack thereof – and act accordingly. And if you know for a fact that she’s married – get lost.

Incessant calls/texts/emails – “Please give me the minimum amount of information with the maximum amount of politeness.” This quote, by one Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis, is one that I live by. If it’s important, enlightening, or entertaining, I’ll respond. If not, I won’t. It’s that simple.

Provocative gestures/clothing – Before you do it or wear it, ask yourself: would my mother approve? Would my daughter approve? Would Beth Newman approve? If the answer is no, then don’t do it and don’t wear it. Sure, you’ll get attention for certain moves and certain outfits, but it’s the wrong kind of attention, and it only lasts a little while.

In a sense, I do feel sorry for those who come on too strongly. I know they’re missing something in their lives. But I also know that if they’d take a moment to really develop their self-awareness, and to pick up on the reactions of others, they’d be much happier, and thus attract that certain something they feel they may be lacking.

Get to know yourselves, Sweeties – that’s the first step in fabulosity.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Beth's new book, 365 Days of Fabulosity, is now available on Amazon!

Sudsy Lessons

2011-09-21T10:28:00.001-07:00

Recently, the mother of a teen-aged girl lamented the fact that her daughter, going through ‘that phase’ has latched on to the local ‘bad boy’. ‘I guess we all went through it,’ the mom said. ‘Hmmm…’ I replied, recalling boys from my past. Though many of them could be categorized (sociopath, narcissist, closeted homosexual 1, closeted homosexual 2), I wouldn’t necessarily toss them into the snarling, brooding, anti-establishment bad-boy category.

‘Do you suppose,’ chimed in another friend, ‘that this current fascination with vampires is sending certain messages to our girls?”

THAT’S IT!!!

In my day, vampires didn’t exist.

Well, of course they did, thanks to old movies and books certain teachers forced me to read. They were not, however, as prevalent as they are today, and certainly didn’t shape my views on relationships.

Soap operas did that.

Yes, Sweeties, yours truly was and is a soap opera junkie. As much as I preach the whole ‘create your own reality’ idea, a big part of my reality includes a good old-fashioned daytime storyline, an over-the-top peek into glossy, complicated worlds so different from my own - worlds that offer a mere hint of realism, but a great deal of food for thought when it comes to analyzing people and forming relationships.

Thanks to soap operas, I learned very early on that villains can have their heroic moments, and heroes can certainly fall from time-to-time. Soap writers, at least back in my day and with my shows, proved that not everyone is either this-or-that. People, even fictional ones, are a complicated species.

The men of my soaps didn’t simper, and they sure as heck didn’t cry (well, not too often and certainly not in front of a large group of people). Some of them were only figurative blood-suckers. They were strong, gainfully (if not at times illegally) employed, and just plain interesting.

A certain element of glamour existed in my soapy teen-aged world. Everyone practiced good grooming habits. The men actually looked like men. No room existed for a greasy-haired, pasty-skinned, tattooed, low muscle-mass young man on daytime TV, and if he did make a rare appearance, he’d be killed off fairly quickly.

My, how times have changed. Those greasy-haired, pasty-skinned, tattooed, low-muscle mass young men pop up everywhere these days (television, books, music…but not soap operas – ha ha!). Girls love them. Many grown women love them (and I’m saving that topic for a future musing). Please tell me what I’m missing here!

Sadly, the daytime drama is a dying genre. Within the last two years, two long-running soaps (Guiding Light and As the World Turns) have been cancelled, and one more sits atop the chopping block (All My Children). Praise the powers-that-be who have determined that One Life to Live will live on past its ABC demise via the Internet. I’m officially hooked on OLTL – several of my favorite GL actors are now on it, and the whole Man With Todd’s Face storyline completely suckered me in (side note: I could have gone either way on that one – I like both those guys’ faces, even the one with a scar on it).

Anyhoo…

The sad fact remains: today’s 'entertainment' bombards our girls with morose and questionable fictional heartthrobs. Our girls are led to believe that they can change a bad boy (we can’t change anyone but ourselves, Sweeties. I learned that lesson a long time ago. From a soap opera). They’re not learning the complexities of human nature, nor are they learning the following: how to fake their own deaths, give birth after menopause, recover from amnesia, or run a multi-billion dollar company fresh out of high school.

But that’s just me…I could be wrong.

Beth Newman
Image consultant/life coach/author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Beth’s new book, '365 Days of Fabulosity', will be available through Amazon later this month!

July's Nutshell

2011-08-03T10:13:00.000-07:00

Here I sit, a few days into the month of August, and I’m still reeling from some events that transpired during the month of July. As you know, I like to muse elegantly at the end of each month about lessons I’ve learned, truths I’ve discovered, new amusements, and anything else that’s caught my fancy within the last four weeks. So here goes nothing (or something, depending on your point of view):

Skyrockets in Flight – We live in a great nation, in spite of all the political drama that plagues our headlines. When we come together in a spirit of celebration, I realize that, essentially, we are all the same. We’re all connected. We live in a place where we can choose to be and do anything we wish. However, when we choose to be a line-cutter in order to score the last of the Kettle Corn, we will receive dirty looks. Prepare yourself for the fall-out should you go this route.

Waves of Clarity – For me, sitting and staring at a large body of water is necessary for my peace of mind. I’ve come to greatly depend on the Gulf of Mexico for answers (and she’s yet to let me down). When we turn off, we tune in, and it’s that inner guidance that will ultimately put us on the right path. I’m really excited about changes on the horizon.

Summer Reruns– History continues to repeat itself. No matter how much I’ve desired certain outcomes, I’ve wised up to the fact that some people simply won’t change. How sad…

We All Scream for Ice Cream – When you enjoy lunch at a favorite restaurant with a gorgeous, vivacious and incredibly sweet young woman, the management rewards you with free ice cream. Henceforth, I shall only dine out with attractive, fabulous people.

Beware of False Prophets - Enlightened, great individuals don’t have to tell others just how enlightened and great they are. They simply need to live it.

Nerd Alert – I will stop what I’m doing and forgo a night on the town just to watch a Star Wars marathon.

That is all.

Beth Newman
Image consultant, life coach, author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Peeing With Steve Martin

2011-07-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

Years ago, Steve Martin filmed a movie in my hometown. A gentleman with whom I worked at the time had the great fortune of peeing next to Mr. Martin in the men’s room of local comedy club.

This gentleman babbled nonstop about it for three days. He spoke of it as if he’d found the cure for cancer. All excitement….like it was some sort of earth-shattering discovery.

I feel sorry for most celebrities. After all, they’re just people. But because they’re in the limelight, in some form or fashion, we pedestrians feel as if we own a little piece of them. We attend their movies, buy their music, and spend countless hours watching them on TV. As a result, we give ourselves permission to praise them, bad-mouth them, and force ourselves upon them at any given moment.

A friend of a friend once saw Tommy Lee Jones at a convenience store. She approached him, asked for a picture, and he replied that he’d rather not. She was offended, but I think Mr. Jones was perfectly fine in declining her request. Convenience stores simply aren’t, well, convenient most of the time. We’re there to get gas, buy a candy bar, and then hit the road. In and out – we usually don’t have time to take requests.

Just because one’s famous doesn’t mean he wants to be bothered.

And this is true for anyone with even the slightest bit of fame.

When I worked as a radio disc jockey, a woman attending one of my live broadcasts told me that she didn’t like my hair. She didn’t say ‘hello’, or ask how my day was going. The first thing out of her mouth was her opinion about my hair. So, how does one respond to this? Quite baffled as to how to handle the situation, I told her we were out of bumper stickers and donuts, but thanked her for stopping by anyway. We had plenty of bumper stickers and donuts, but I didn’t feel as if she deserved them after her tacky comment. Was this the right thing to do? Probably not, but I felt a little vindicated nonetheless.

Had I been a bank teller, a doctor, or a librarian, would she have done the same thing? Probably not, but then again, scores of weird, rude people roam the streets daily, so you just never know.

A lot of folks are star-struck, but I’ve never been one of them. During my stints in radio and television, I met an awful lot of famous people. Some of them were absolute gems – others, not so much. For laughs, I tell my friends about the time I interviewed a certain up-and-coming country music superstar who behaved dreadfully. He was rude, snarky, in desperate need of a shower, and definitely overstayed his welcome. After the interview, I said to my boss, ‘This guy will never amount to anything.’ A year later he was the hottest thing going, and today his music still tops the charts.

Shows you how much I know.

Anyway, I don’t tell this story in order to make him look bad – I really don’t. It was just truly one of the most uncomfortable and absurd moments in my life, so I have to share it with those who are near and dear. Trust me, I didn’t lose any sleep over it, and I’m happy that things turned out well for him.

Of course, in this age of technology, anyone can become a celebrity. We’ve YouTube stars popping up and garnering some pretty serious attention. Anyone with thoughtful or entertaining comments can gain quite a following on Twitter or Facebook.

So I guess the lesson of today’s little musing is this: we’re all basic, standard, run-of-the mill people. The movie star is no different from the maintenance man – he just makes his living a different way. Just because someone is ‘known’ does not mean that you have the right to pester him. Please respect the privacy of others and don’t paw at them. Mind your manners and speak kindly. If they’re having a private conversation with someone else, don’t interrupt them.

And let them pee in peace, why don’t you?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Summer School

2011-06-30T09:47:00.001-07:00

Something about this time of year always has me feeling a bit nostalgic. As a kid, I loved summer vacation, and it always proved to be just that: a vacation. It meant time away from school (a good thing), trips out of town (a necessary thing, particularly for my overworked father), and an opportunity to improve myself (even back then, I was a self-help nerd).

Although I made fairly good grades (provided I enjoyed the course), school was not necessarily ‘my thing’ (ironic that I devoted twelve years of my adult life as a school teacher, don’t you think?). Don’t get me wrong – I believe a great deal of merit exists in most of these academic and athletic camps that have become quite popular these days, but I fear too many of our children are overscheduled right now when they should be relaxing and recharging for the upcoming school year. My youngest client, a girl of eight, comes to me three afternoons a week absolutely exhausted. She attends two summer camps daily, and when she leaves me, she heads to her piano lesson. It’s too much!

Sometimes just living life, even a kid’s life, can provide concrete learning that will ultimately shape our adult selves. Allow me to share a few of my own childhood discoveries that I still fall back upon today:

-Motor skills can be improved upon when one’s teen-aged aunt forces you to cut pictures of Shaun Cassidy out of Tiger Beat magazine. It wasn’t always easy – sometimes his face was in the shape of a heart.

-The ability to coordinate outfits and dress for any occasion is quite important and can lead to a great career (at least in my world). I am forever indebted to Barbie for that one. She slept in a Kleenex box, but she always looked fabulous – that’s a great example of understanding your priorities and ‘making do’ (to quote my mother) with what you’ve got.

-Sharing equals caring. Always the gentleman, Han Solo (in the form of an action figure) consistently offered his blaster to Kate Jackson when she and the other plastic Angels fought crimes in the Miller family living room. That’s also a good example of chivalry, which I’ve always found to be an incredibly attractive trait.

-I learned quite early in life the importance of good grooming thanks to Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers and a boy who encouraged me to get in touch with my feminine side (he’d already found his, and I truly loved him for it) by applying Vaseline to my eyelashes in order to make them shine.

-I can’t solve an algebraic equation or play an instrument well, but I do know the finer points of overthrowing one’s father as the head of the family business, faking one’s death, and overcoming amnesia thanks to countless summer hours spent watching Guiding Light (man, do I miss that show!)

-Lessons in compromise and strategic planning tactics occur when you share a room with your sister, particularly when negotiating which walls Duran Duran posters should grace, and which walls Rick Springfield posters should grace.

-Reading comprehension skills are greatly improved upon when one devotes hours to Seventeen magazine. A girl can hone her critical thinking skills by taking each quiz in the magazine, and discover, too, what type of boy she will marry, the colors that look best on her, and which hairsprays are the best at keeping her bangs resembling those of a mutant rooster.

-My music lessons came from listening to Amarillo’s All Hit Z-93. I would grow up and become the ‘Mid-Day Girl’ for that station a decade later. That’s one of those Law of Attraction spiritual-type lessons, too: what you think about, you bring about.

And I thought an awful lot about having fun, enjoying myself, improving myself, acting silly, and diving into weirdly creative activities each summer. I still do…

Beth Newman
Image Consultant, Life Coach, Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Loyalty

2011-06-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

I had no intention of addressing the subject of loyalty today, but, for myriad reasons, I’m compelled to do so. Loyalty – a vitally important concept that simply isn’t put into practice enough these days.

Our society, I fear, can only be described as a disposable one. Many folks are far too concerned about ‘the next big thing’ without really taking a moment to appreciate what they already possess. It occurs in relationships and in businesses. It happens because we pretend to have some fantastic, pie-in-the-sky vision of how things should be, rather than nurturing those things that currently are. Oftentimes, ego gets in the way. Sometimes it’s due to boredom. Other times, it’s the quest for the almighty dollar. In the end, though, it simply boils down to the ‘what’s in it for me?’ mentality that is overly-acknowledged and seemingly celebrated in our culture.

Case in Point 1: A woman was recently fired from her job of 10 years due to ‘restructuring of her department’. Truth be told, a friend of the boss wanted a gig within the company, and the only way to make this happen was to squeeze this woman out. Where’s the loyalty for those years of service? Had there been an issue with the woman’s job performance, should it not have been addressed? (And her performance reviews indicated that no such issue existed, by the way.) Isn’t it the boss’s job to nurture those whom he feels may not be up for the task, rather than merely cutting that someone off so abruptly?

Case in Point 2: A young wife discovers that marriage to a man who adores her isn’t quite how she envisioned it. Following the fairy-tale wedding, reality set in. She took up with someone new, devastating her husband. She made a commitment, yet felt no obligation to fulfill it. You may call it flight-of-fancy if you’d like, but it’s purely an act of disloyalty to make a promise to someone and not see it through. It’s unfair not to express any concerns or misgivings one may have and to simply abandon ship just because one feels like it. You made a vow to your significant other, and you owe him or her the opportunity to hash out any problems before leaving.

Case in Point 3: The higher-ups at one office encouraged its employees to stick it out in spite of air-conditioning gone kaput - for several days at once. In triple digit heat, the bosses expected the staff to stay and remain productive. Working from home was simply not an option. Not only does this make poor business sense to me, but I feel it’s a right-out health risk to the employees, and certainly not a morale-booster by any stretch of the imagination. Where’s the concern for their well-being? Where’s the loyalty and commitment to insuring that these workers remain happy, thus leading them to greater productivity in the long run?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe anyone or any business should subject themselves to misery and unproductive practices. I do feel, however, that we owe it to ourselves and to one another to at least try to work toward a positive solution. We must remain mindful of the big picture and ask ourselves the following questions: have the people we’re dealing with regularly proven themselves to be loyal and committed to our particular cause? Have we taken the time to help them when they may fall short of our expectations? Are our motives for doing what we do honest and of the highest standards? Do we practice the loyalty we seek?

Loyalty, ultimately, shall reap rewards. Perhaps not anytime soon, but that is why we must practice patience and faith. As a true believer in karma, I know all good deeds, including loyalty, result in multiplied blessings. Lack of loyalty, too, shall be recognized….but not quite so positively. Keep this in mind when you begin to experience disloyal leanings…..

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

If you feel lead to do so, I cordially invite you to check out the Elegant Fund. Proceeds benefit Girls, Inc., an organization that encourages girls to be strong, smart, and bold! http://www.newmanimage.info/Elegant.html

Nice Girls WILL Finish First!

2011-06-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

Over the course of the last few days, I’ve had the same conversation with parents regarding this mean girl epidemic that, evidently, isn’t going away anytime soon. One parent expressed his concerns, asking if he should encourage his daughter to blaze a mean girl path for herself because, ‘she’s just not making as many strides academically or socially as the girls who are more aggressive.’ One mom told me she’s all but given up, and has expressed to her daughter the old ‘if you can’t beat them, join’ them cliché.

Quite disheartened, I pondered this for a good long while. It seems as if our society is constantly inundated with reports and examples of bad behavior that are not only rewarded, but encouraged. All is not lost, though, I’m sure of it – as long as we adults continue to fight for what’s right and shield our children (and ourselves) from those negative, mean forces out there.

Set the Example
When you sneak into that coveted parking space at the mall (the one that the driver of the Camry had been waiting patiently for, complete with flashing blinker), you’re sending the message to your child that cutting in front of someone is a perfectly acceptable act. When you mention that the clerk behind the counter gave you too much change – change that you kept – you’re telling your child that it’s okay to essentially steal (which is what you’re doing when you don’t return the money). We must show our children that we are aware, compassionate, and concerned with being good citizens. Anything less than this could very well plant a few mean girl seeds.

Keep Them Busy (But Not Too Busy)
As one mom and I planned for her daughter’s summer consultations with me, I grew shocked as I discovered that the giant, color-coded calendar on the kitchen wall belonged solely to the girl (who is twelve-years-old). Mom has registered Daughter in every camp, club, and private tutorial session available in our community. ‘What about down time?’ I inquired. ‘Oh, we don’t believe in down time. It’s best if she’s busy. She’ll stay out of trouble that way.’ I politely disagreed, for I’ve seen too many overscheduled students in my fifteen years of education to know that when a child has too much on her plate, she grows weary, frustrated, and tends to rebel a bit more than her less active counterparts. Down-time is good; please trust me on this.

Limit the Media
Unfortunately, we live in a dumbed-downed era in which just about anything passes for entertainment. Many shows geared toward teens and pre-teens are highly sexualized, and often celebrate mean girl behavior. A good portion of the music aimed toward the same audience is guilty of this, too. I encourage you to know what your child is watching, listening to, and reading.

Get Involved
As a parent, it’s okay to make a nuisance of yourself: know who your child spends time with, get to know her friends’ parents. If you don’t feel comfortable about someone within her circle of friends, tell her so. Limit her time with them. You are the parent – you’re not her best friend – so take charge. Ask questions. Speak to her – not at her. Remain calm, knowing that any tantrums she throws willpass.

Nice Girls Do Win Out…In the End
It’s important to express to your daughter that good behavior will always be rewarded in some fashion. Karma is a very real thing, I believe. We must teach our children patience while practicing it ourselves. We must always take the high road in all that we do and say, and encourage our children to do the same. We must realize that a little lazy time is good for the soul. We must band together, do what’s right, teach what’s right, and remain vigilant in our fight against the mean girl syndrome.

If you've enjoyed today's musing, I encourage you to contribute to the Elegant Fund. Proceeds benefit Girls, Inc., an organization that encourages girls to be strong, smart, and bold. Details at http://www.newmanimage.info/Elegant.html. Together, we can make a difference!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
'Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!'

Life Lessons from Judy

2011-06-10T05:06:00.001-07:00

I’m compelled today to pay a little tribute to someone who I feel epitomizes elegance: Miss Judy Garland, who would have turned 89-years-old today. We hear an awful lot, still, about Judy’s tragedies, but I’d like to focus on the good things about her, and how we might take a few ‘Judy-isms’and apply them to our own lives:

There’s No Denying Talent - we live in age in which lip-synching and pitch correction are the norm. In Judy’s day, an artist was expected to be just that: an artist - someone who could actually rise to the occasion and offer something substantial to her audience. Judy sang with such tremendous emotion, and even her few ‘off performances’ still outshine most of today’s musical offerings. As far as her acting goes, sit down and view A Star is Born. Enough said.

The lesson: When we are passionate about our craft, we shall overcome adversities and contribute something positive for the good of all.

Beloved Mother – Yes, Judy’s children speak of her later years, recalling how her prescription drug abuse affected the family dynamic. Yet they do so lovingly, defending her, and are quick to point out that she did the absolute best with what she had. Take a look at Liza and Lorna: A Tale of Two Sisters http://youtu.be/VezePOqEjdI. That’s the true meaning of family, if you ask me.

The lesson: We must remain mindful of the powerful influence we hold over children. We must support them, have fun with them, and encourage them to strive to be the people they want to be (not who we want them to be).

Surround Yourself With Cool Cats:

Need I say more?

The lesson: We’re known by the company we keep. Our circle of friends determines others’ perceptions about us. Choose wisely.

Look Fabulous Without Being a Cookie-Cutter Replica of Others – Early in her career, the powers-that-be at MGM took Judy to task about her weight, her nose, and other things. One of the things I love most about Judy is that she didn’t look like all the other Hollywood starlets of her time. I think she was most beautiful during the run of The Judy Garland Show. Her to-die-for wardrobe and simple hair and makeup screamed Sheer Elegance.

The lesson: We must find our true style, and never let those who think they know best influence us about our face, figure, or fashion. If we can retain the great Bob Mackie to design for us, all the better!

So there you have it: my little musing about an icon whose talent has withstood the test of time. Fifty years from now, will we reflect as such on the Taylor Swifts and Beyonces of our time? No offense intended, but I think not.

If you’ve enjoyed today’s musing, I invite you to contribute to The Elegant Fund. Proceeds benefit Girls, Inc., an organization that encourages young women to be strong, smart, and bold! Details at http://newmanimage.info/Elegant.html
Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

May's Nutshell

2011-05-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hello, Sweeties! I’m just sitting here, sipping my third cup of coffee, and reflecting on the life lessons brought to me by the month of May:

Spend Time With Old People – they won’t always be around, and no matter how much you think you know, you can still learn something from them.

Get Over It, Beth Newman – As much as I try to let go, I still find myself quite disheartened by the downfall of what was once a very special place to me. Apathy has virtually destroyed something for which I worked extremely hard. I take comfort, however, that I’ve made life-long, positive connections with those who were with me during this entity’s heyday, and I recall proudly that, once upon a time, this entity was a very special place.

Revelations – Should you feel compelled to show pictures of your lovely wife to a virtual stranger, do insure that nude photos of yourself are not included in the mix. Count yourself lucky, too, that the woman with whom you shared those photos doesn’t name names in a certain little elegant blog she writes.

Awkward discoveries – you may learn that someone from your present life has a negative connection to someone from your past. It’s best to come clean about how you fit into this picture (no matter how insignificantly), and insure both parties that you don’t have a dog in their fight. (Note to self: get this done ASAP)

Here and Now – you are where you are right now for a reason. The people in your life right now are here for a reason. Always show yourself to be classy, comforting, and supportive. You may, in fact, change their lives by doing so.

Bi-Lingual – When one uses Google translator to insure that her cleaning lady completely understands requests, one must prepare herself for the fact that the cleaning lady will, in turn, leave detailed notes – in Spanish, for her. Time to order Rosetta Stone, I think.

Hollywood Tragedy – I was quite saddened to learn about the death of actor Jeff Conaway, who portrayed Kenickie in the iconic film, Grease (just like every girl who grew up in the 70s ad 80s, I’ve seen Grease dozens of times). His struggles with addiction were, of course, noted in the tabloids, and I rooted for his recovery (as I do with anyone who deals with any sort of struggle, whether publicly or privately). I hope he’s found peace, and I shall always recall fondly these wise words: A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card…..

And that concludes my month. Cheers, Sweeties!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

ps...If you've enjoyed this little musing, I invite you to contribute to the Elegant Fund. Proceeds benefit Girls, Inc., an organization that inspires girls to be strong, smart, and bold. Details at http://www.newmanimage.info/Elegant.html.

Giving Gladly

2011-05-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading a great deal about the concept of giving lately. I’ve always believed myself to be a ‘good little giver’, but until recently, I never really considered my attitude while giving. I’ll confess, it’s not always as positive as it should be. As a society, we’re expected to give our money, our time, and our attention to various people and entities. We’re taught that we’ll reap blessings when we give, but here’s the kicker: we won’t reap anything positive if we’re not giving joyfully and without expectation.

When we give of ourselves, we shouldn’t expect anything in return. Giving should feel good, and when it does, we know we’ve done it for the right reasons. If it feels forced, or if we get upset because we weren’t recognized for our efforts in a way that we thought we should be recognized, then we’ll never reap a blessing from it.

In The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra tells us that we must give those things we want out of life (respect, happiness, time, money, etc.). It’s a karmic thing: what goes around comes around. When we give for the right reasons, we will certainly be rewarded in some way.

In his book, Attract Money Now (http://www.attractmoneynow.com/), Dr. Joe Vitale makes the same claim. He goes on to discuss the importance of giving only where we find inspiration and spiritual nourishment. We can apply this ‘money-making’ concept to each aspect of our lives. Where are we placing our attention? How are we interacting with others? How are we spending our time? Are we really getting what we want out of life?

Again, the key is giving gladly.

Don’t let Bono or the Baptist Church tell you how to give. Don’t allow anyone to monopolize your time and energy if you don’t receive a boost from it. Don’t expect anything in return. Search your heart, and give lovingly your time, attention, and yes, even your money to those people and causes that are special to you, that inspire you, and that you feel are truly worthy of your efforts.

Then grab an umbrella, because blessings shall rain down upon you.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant, Life Coach, Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

If you've enjoyed this free article, I invite you to help me show some love to Girls, Inc. Details at http://www.newmanimage.info/Elegant.html. Together, we can make a difference - thank you!

Audrey Hepburn: An Elegant Tribute

2011-05-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

Audrey Hepburn epitomized grace and style, not only in her appearance, but in her very essence. On this, what would have been her 82nd birthday, I’d like to pay tribute to Ms. Hepburn, and remind us all that true style goes much deeper than fashion.

True, she was born with beauty and enviable bone structure. When Audrey hit Hollywood, the prevailing notion of the acceptable way for women to dress was highly sexual (hourglass shapes teetering upon mincing heels). She offered another way for women to style themselves – and behave. She proved one didn’t have to carry herself ‘in a certain way’ in order to garner attention. Her subtle beauty continues to resonate with women everywhere, I believe. That’s why fashion designers still pay tribute to her in their own ways: crisp white shirts, clean lines, and little black dresses will never go away. It’s all about class and simplicity.

But it went much deeper than fashion with Ms. Hepburn. Audrey was one of the first celebrities to utilize her fame to help others – particularly those that no one seemed to care about. Long before Angelina Jolie made it chic, Audrey visited some of the most desolate places on earth, committing herself fully to reaching out to others who were less fortunate. She continued to do so long after she left the spotlight, and didn’t need a slew of photographers to record her every move. That’s a hard concept to grasp for our ‘reality TV’ generation, but it just goes to show that when you do something from the heart, something you’re passionate about, you don’t need an audience.

Of course, she faced struggles, as we all do: she grew up without a father, survived the Nazi threat in World War II, dealt with unfaithful husbands and two divorces, and lived under constant scrutiny from the media – all while managing her extraordinary film career and raising two children. By all Hollywood accounts, she was absolutely adored by everyone because of her kindness and compassion.

So I guess the point of today’s little musing is this: you can look fantastic while keeping it simple. You can survive anything as long as you have hope, and you can make a difference in this world, provided you’re doing it for the right reasons.

With that, I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Audrey:

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

Very true, Ms. Hepburn…and thank you.

My Own Backyard

2011-04-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

Charity begins at home – Andria Terence

I believe in giving. I believe in assisting others less fortunate than me. I believe we are a global community, and we must do what we can.

With that being said, I don’t believe that we have to look too far in order to find someone who could use our help.

Our society seems to be a little too focused on reaching out across the seas to lend aid those less fortunate. While my thoughts go out to those in far-away lands who are hungry, ill, or trying to piece their lives back together after some sort of devastation, I can’t help but think there is someone in my own backyard who is also in need.

I wonder what might happen if we focused a little more on our own community. Perhaps our ‘at risk’ kids wouldn’t be at risk anymore. Perhaps the homeless man on the street would have a permanent place to call home. Perhaps the struggling single mom could rest easy knowing she and her children are safe.

Perhaps our country as a whole would be a little (or a lot) better off.
Of course, with myriad charities out there, how do we know where to begin?

My advice: listen to your heart. What are you passionate about? Personally, my concern is children, particularly young women who run the risk of traveling down very dangerous paths. I’m also concerned with the well-being of our four-legged friends. I wish I had the funds – and energy – to contribute to every cause, but I’m just me, and can only do so much.

And if you’re truly passionate about reaching out further than your own backyard to assist someone, go for it. Please don’t let the mainstream media or some dopey celebrity influence you here, though. It’s very chic right now to raise funds for international causes, but chic isn’t what it should be about. Trust me when I tell you, there is someone very close to you who will be just as grateful (and probably more so)that you took time for them.

Let’s clean up our own backyard before we try to tackle someone else’s. We might just amaze ourselves by the results of our efforts.

Beth Newman
Image consultant, life coach, author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

PS....If you’d like to join me in supporting Girls, Inc (a local organization committed to empowering at-risk girls), please visit http://newmanimage.info/Elegant.html.

Wordly Wise

2011-04-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

Words equal power.

In this day of instant communication, and society’s seemingly incessant need to purge itself at every turn, we forget this. In my quest these last couple of years for something more substantial, I’ve discovered that there are consequences to the words we choose. Joel Osteen refers to it as speaking a blessing – when we proclaim ‘woe is me’ or ‘my ex is a worthless sack of you-know-what’, we are ultimately putting the kibosh on good vibes intended for us.

You may not believe in God, or any sort of higher power; that’s your prerogative. You might, though, agree with me that sorry, negative language never benefits anyone. Sure, you may feel better after popping off at the distracted woman behind the counter, but odds are you’ve just ruined her day. She, in turn, will most likely let her ruined day affect someone else. It’s called the ripple effect.

Author and success coach Jack Canfield says that one of his requirements for his staff is that they must avoid negative comments and words while at the office. Mr. Canfield knows that we cannot achieve success if we’re not speaking positively and for the greater good of all involved.

There are four avenues of communication I’d like to share with you today. My intention is, at the very least, that they provide some food for thought.

Social Networking
I suppose the posts I read each day through the likes of Facebook and Twitter got me thinking about the way in which we communicate. I know far too much about people – some of whom I’ve never met. I encourage you, Gentle Reader, to carefully consider everything you post. When you speak ill of someone, it reflects poorly on YOU. I know we must vent from time to time, but the Internet is not the place to do it (unless, of course, you start your own blog like I have ;) Keep it light, breezy, entertaining, and informative. Thank you.

Sarcasm
Now, don’t get me wrong. I tend toward sarcasm on a regular basis, but it is always in jest and only with those who truly know I’m acting silly. There exists a fine art to sarcasm; one must practice it, hone it, and only use it with those who know you well.

Swearing
I’ll admit it: I swear. Not regularly. As with sarcasm, I only do it –on occasion – to get a laugh out of my loved ones. I know my audience – that’s a big one. Words acceptable to my sister may not be appropriate to use in front of my mother. Words acceptable to my mother may not be appropriate to use in front of my grandmother. Timing is everything, too – letting an expletive fly after stumping one’s toe, or following a mascara wand mishap are understandable. Peppering one’s daily language with dirty words is not. To me, those dependent on foul language in order to make a point or to tell a story, come across as uneducated and ignorant.

Oh, and don’t get me started on children who swear. It’s not cute and shouldn’t be encouraged.

Grammar
I’m a former English teacher, so humor me, please. Much of the general adult population needs to go back and review what we learned in middle school. As with swearing, grammatically incorrect conversation benefits no one. If you feel as if you need a quick review, pick up a copy of Clinton Kelly’s How to Be Freakin’ Fabulous (ironic he includes grammar lessons in a book with the word ‘freakin’ in the title, but it’s his book and he can call it whatever he likes). He’s got fun examples on proper parts of speech and correct usage. You can click the Elegant Reading tab here on my blog to order a copy.

I encourage you, Sweeties, to take care when communicating. Represent yourselves well. Insure that what you say serves as a blessing to others…and to yourselves.

PS…If you’ve enjoyed today’s little musing, I’d like to tell you about the Elegant fund I’ve established. Proceeds benefit a wonderful organization called Girls, Inc. To get the scoop, visit http://newmanimage.info/Elegant.html

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Garbage In, Garbage Out

2011-04-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

You may recall several years ago when Oprah Winfrey stopped airing shows that dealt with the usual day-time talk show fare. Oprah’s smart. She realized the old concept of Garbage In, Garbage Out – what we put into a heads and hearts will surely manifest itself into our daily existence.

A few years back, I found myself in a dark place. I knew I needed to make changes, but I’d built a wall around me so thick that it took a serious Come to Jesus Moment for me to realize just how far I'd gone. Ready for peace, I began taking desperate measures to restore my well-being: I turned off the TV (e-gad!). I stopped reading dumb chick books. I tuned out a lot of music. Best decision I’ve ever made, my friends.

I don’t think we realize how much junk enters our subconscious minds on a daily basis. When we fill our minds with garbage (our own or someone else’s), it truly does play a role in how we feel each day. You can’t feel fabulous in a garbage bin.

In order to establish real relationships (and that includes the one we have with ourselves) we simply have to turn off the noise and start filling our minds with ideas and concepts that will positively serve us. We have to reach out to others in kindness; our goal must be to uplift and enlighten others. What goes around comes around…and that includes everything we say, do, and post on social networking sites. Keep that in mind the next time you feel like going off on a rant…you may feel better, temporarily, but you’ve heaped a huge amount of garbage on someone else (or, at the very least, you’ve forced them to block you from their newsfeed).

Because we live in such a negative society, unfortunately, it’s hard to find sources that nurture us rather than torture us. So I’ve taken the liberty of scouting out a few sites that I hope will provide you with excellent ways in which to occupy your time:

http://www.jackcanfield.com/articles.html
http://www.enlightennext.org/magazine/current/
http://www.contacttalkradio.com/hosts/carimurphy.html
http://www.drwaynedyer.com/daily-inspiration
http://www.joelosteen.com/Broadcast/VideoStreaming/Pages/VideoStreaming.aspx

I also encourage you to remain vigilant about with whom you spend your time. If you don’t feel good around them, get away from them. It really is that simple.

Garbage In Garbage Out – remember that, my friends, and insure you do your absolute best to shield yourself from the junk.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant, Life Coach, Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

The Sidewalk

2011-03-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

A true tragedy occurred in my little corner of the world recently. Without going into too much detail, a troubled young man is no longer with us. I saw this young man frequently, we chatted occasionally, and that was the extent of our relationship. I witnessed authorities remove his lifeless body from his parents’ home, and it’s had me thinking an awful lot about life…how we spend it, with whom we spend it, and how much of it is caught up in idleness and unproductive behaviors.

It’s caused me to review how I while away my hours. I know I tend to spin my wheels and focus on business far too much. I’ll burn myself out on it completely– physically, emotionally, and spiritually -if I’m not careful. I need a hobby…a daily diversion…a little outlet, if you will, in order to wind down from the day-to-day.

That, of course, leads me to the whole ‘life balance’ issue: have I been diligent in forming true bonds with people? Do I follow-up as well as I could with family and friends? Truth be told, I’m terribly shy and guarded, and I often go on the assumption that my family and friends know how much I care about them. That old cliché of action speaking louder than words exists for a reason….

I suppose this young man’s death opened my eyes a little bit, and it certainly has forced me to take stock in my own life. I need to reach out a bit more. I need to slow down. I need to become more aware that someone who shares a sidewalk with me might be in the market for a bigger smile as we head to our cars each morning, or a little more conversation at the mailbox each evening.

Because, really, when it gets down to it, life is about making those true connections. We should never leave anyone wondering how we feel about them. We should never get so caught up in ourselves that we miss out on true, meaningful, life experiences. Simple concepts, really, but ones we don’t adhere to as often as we should. I intend to change that about myself; how about you?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
www.newmanimage.info

February's Nutshell

2011-03-01T12:39:00.000-08:00

I believe in the importance of regularly conducting a life inventory, and have made a monthly practice of it. It never ceases to amaze me just how much I learn about myself and this world when I allow myself time for such reflection. So it is with much love (and a little sarcasm) that a share with you, Gentle Reader, my little epiphanies for February:

-Valentine’s Day is an over-rated conspiracy instigated by card companies. My beloved and I don’t need a specified day in order to express how we feel about each other. We do it daily, through our words and deeds (though I confess he’s much more a pro at it than I). Anyone who gets her nose out of joint because her Mister didn’t send the right flowers should really take a good, hard look at herself.

-On the subject of love, nothing strengthens the bonds of a relationship quite like the shared experience of a bad restaurant. And by bad restaurant, I mean poor service, under/overcooked food, and watered-down lime juice described as the House Margarita. Throw in a woman blowing her nose quite loudly at the next table, and you’ve got yourself a surreal experience, for sure. So thank you, TGI Fridays of Sugar Land, for laying yet another brick in the already strong foundation of Team Newman!

-When it comes to haircuts, sometimes it’s best to take matters (and scissors) into your own steady hands, no matter how much you adore your well-meaning but partially deaf hairdresser.

-When one starts visualizing and setting intentions for certain outcomes, one must be ready for doors to open. I’m quite thrilled with certain events that have transpired…events that will benefit me and others. I am grateful.

-I’ve learned over the past couple of years just how precious time is. That’s why I’ve grown quite particular about how I spend my time…and with whom.

-We’re all energy, and the amount of energy and the type of energy we emit into the universe certainly comes back to us.

-Anyone who drops the ‘F Bomb’ while accepting an award should have that award immediately ripped from her hands.

And that, Sweeties, is my month…in a nutshell.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

Some Achy-Breaky Accountability

2011-02-22T12:02:00.000-08:00

Billy Ray Cyrus told GQ Magazine recently that Hannah Montana is to blame for his family’s troubles.

Really, Mr. Cyrus?

Who allowed his young daughter into the spotlight at such a young age? Who insured that he’d get a co-starring role in her show once his own fame had dwindled? Who seemed ok with a questionable photo shoot a couple of years ago?

You did, Mr. Cyrus.

Accountability is defined as taking responsibility for one’s actions, and there’s precious little of it, these days.

It’s quite easy to point the finger and blame others for our woes, but when the rubber hits the road – as it certainly will, we are ultimately responsible for what happens to us. Now, with that being said, Miley Cyrus, at 18, is plenty old enough to take responsibility for her actions. Teens do stupid things, yet most don’t have the opportunity – or misfortune - to do it in front of a camera. I find it quite distressing that Miss Cyrus was, evidently, never taught that with fame comes responsibility…little girls everywhere once looked up to her, and those little girls may have grown into young women who still look to her for their cues.

And please don’t give me that garbage that bad behavior comes with being a child star. For every Miley Cyrus, Lindsey Lohan, and even Danny Bonaduce, I offer you a Ron Howard, Jodie Foster, and Kurt Russell. I’ll see your cast of Eight is Enough and raise you The Cosby Kids (with the exception, perhaps, of Lisa Bonet). Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains sponsors his own ministry these days, and the only faux pas committed by The Facts of Life girls came from Mindy Cohn, when her poor fashion choices landed her on What Not to Wear.

(Side Note: I watched too much TV as a kid, and have definitely aged myself in that last paragraph)

As adults, we are accountable for our successes and failures. We are responsible for encouraging and inspiring our children to grow into good, decent adults. We must stop playing the blame game and take ownership of our lives. We must fess up to our mistakes and get on with things. And you can put that in your achy-breaky pipe and smoke it, darling.

An Elegant Review: Grammy Fashion 2011

2011-02-15T15:24:00.001-08:00

I must preface this by telling you, Sweeties, that I’m not big on award shows, particularly the Grammys. I won’t get into all the reasons why; I’ll merely share with you today what I think is the most vital part of any awards ceremony: the fashion! So let’s take a look at Beth’s Hits and Misses for the 2011 Grammys:

Hits:

Nicole Kidman – She looked absolutely stunning. Her dress (John Paul Guiltier) suited her figure, complexion, and her revised, ravishing red locks! The fact that her face is once again mobile is a plus – she truly looks like a happy woman, and happiness surely is the best style accessory.

Jennifer Hudson – Had she worn her particular choice (Versace) to any other awards show besides the Grammys, I wouldn’t have been all that jazzed about it. But given the venue, I loved it. Everything about her look worked!

Kelly Osbourne – She’s gone from a semi-bratty, potty-mouthed child of rock to a lovely, potty-mouthed fashionista! Her dress (Tadashi Shoji) exuded sheer fun, and worked so well for the occasion.

Honorable Mention – Jennifer Lopez. Not usually a fan of super-short dresses, I thought J. Lo looked fantastic and completely at ease. Everything about it rocked!

First Style Fashionista Award: Selena Gomez – Absolutely lovely and age-appropriate. Her dress (J. Mendel) worked for her on every level – fit, color, and completely suitable for someone her age.

Misses:

Rhianna – Precious few can get away with vertical stripes, and Rhianna is no exception. I’m desperate for her to lose the orange hair, too.

Kim Kardashian – Her metallic number just didn’t seem to fit her. She’s a curvy gal, and nothing about her choice worked for her in any capacity (including the Miss America hairstyle)

Nicki Minaj - Ugh

Near Miss

Eva Longoria. If she were only a bit taller, I would have loved her in this outfit. Gals on the shorter side must exercise caution with any sort of drapping and or ruffle effect.

First Style Oh-No-She-Didn’t! Award: -Willow Smith. Talk about a hot mess, and shame on Will and Jada for allowing their daughter to leave the house in this one…to attend an awards show, no less. Parents, please stress to your children the importance of ‘dressing for the occasion’

And the Gents…

Hits

Keith Urban, John Legend, and Mick Jagger get my vote for the best dressed of the evening.

Honorable Mention John Mayer exemplified casual elegance.

Misses
Usher disappointed me with his strange choice in footwear. Sean Combs usually impresses me, but I didn’t care for his choice of trouser. Nothing about Adam Levine’s look worked for me.

And the First Style Fancy Lad Award(sorry, it’s the best name I could come up with on short notice- but it’s kind of catchy, don’t you think?)goes to Justin Bieber – looking snazzy in his slightly oversized white tux!

Of course, my Man, WTH award goes to Cee Lo Green. Honestly – what was that all about?

To check out photos of my hits, misses, and everything in between, visit www.stylebistro.com.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

Emerge from the Dark Side

2011-02-09T09:41:00.001-08:00

Sometimes, we don’t understand just how dark it is until we start to see the light.

As children, society tells us that there are certain things we can and cannot do. Rewards and recognition may have come with ultimatums (‘If you don’t get better grades, I’ll be so angry with you. You’ll never go anywhere in life if you don’t hang out with this group of kids, and such). Perhaps we were flat-out told to do something in order to make someone else happy (Darling, marry a rich man who can support you – you know, that sort of thing).

We thus become the victims of a limited way of believing. As children, we’re surrounded by the intentions and ideals of parents and teachers. They have goals for us, which is good – to a degree – but oftentimes those goals are presented with the ‘do this or else’ caveat. As a result, we grow up to fear a few things, shun a few things, and generally repeat the cycle as adults.

These limited beliefs, however, only stunt our growth. They may exist as beliefs about our own capabilities (I’m not smart enough), beliefs about what it takes to succeed (I don’t have the funds to do what I want to do), beliefs about how we should relate to other people (even though he’s a pain, I should call Uncle Leo more often), and such. Moving beyond a limited belief system is a critical first step toward becoming truly happy and satisfied. No matter your age, no matter your status (socioeconomically, relationship, etc.), the time to take control and emerge from the darkness of limited belief is now.

You can learn how to identify those beliefs that are limiting you and then replace them with positive ones that support who you want to be (You’ll never be seen as fabulous if you spend most of your time in the gutter). This shift in thinking can mean the difference between a lifetime of ‘could haves’ versus accomplishing what you really want in life.

The key, which you already hold, is to make a decision about who you want to be, how you want to act, and how you want to feel. Our feelings and thought processes play a huge role in creating our lives. Yes, I said creating because that is what we do, whether we realize it or not. Our thoughts, our words, our actions, and even our manner of dress dictate the outcome.

No challenge is too great. We merely must set our minds toward success, feel ourselves being successful, and offer gratitude for the success we’re currently achieving. Replace any thought or belief that is keeping you from achieving your goals with an empowering thought or belief that will take you closer to your goals. Ignore the doom and gloom crowd. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people, places and things. Stay focused on who you want to be, and know that you are worthy of being that person.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

January's Nutshell

2011-01-31T13:31:00.000-08:00

We’ve officially survived the first month of a new year, Sweeties. 2011 shall rock for us all-if we allow it to do so. It’s important, I believe, to reflect upon our victories and the general day-to-day in order to gauge just how far we’re coming along in the game of life. I’ve been doing just that, and have drawn the following conclusions:

-I really, truly don’t mind getting older. I’m comfortable in my own skin (maybe too much so, at times) and no longer feel as if I have something to prove. Terribly driven in my twenties and thirties, I now realize that my thought patterns far outweigh any actions I could take. Fabulosity is a mindset, and spinning ones wheels won’t get us to our desired destination.

-With age comes a few new ‘adventures’ (my doctor warned me about these), and I’m actually glad to have experienced what I can only assume was my first official hot flash, which occurred on the coldest night of the year. Talk about convenient! Note to husbands whose wives are dealing with the same thing: it’s sweet of you to offer us Advil, but Advil won’t cut it during these particular episodes.

-Going on television is really cool – don’t listen to those who say it’s not (unless, of course, they’ve been featured on some sort of America’s Most Wanted – type show; I can totally understand why they’re not too keen on going before a camera).

-And speaking of cool – reuniting with the grown-up versions of the kids I once taught truly does a heart good. ‘Newman’s Own’ have made me awfully proud!

-Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People, by Amy Sedaris, is a parody of craft books. Those who assumed they’d learn the fine art of macramé or whatever they’re into should have done their homework before buying the book (and sending it, unseen, to their grandmother for Christmas). Sedaris is dark, a bit twisted, but incredibly talented and funny. Her brand of comedy is not for everyone, so if you’re easily offended, take a pass on this one. Silently. Those of us who dig her will appreciate it.

-While on the subject of books, I encourage anyone seeking an elegant role model to read Joanna Lumley, the biography written by Tim Ewbank. Most of us know Ms. Lumley for her delicious portrayal of Patsy Stone on Absolutely Fabulous. A model in swinging sixties London, she rose above many of her peers. Her story is one of hard work, philanthropy, and sheer elegance. Those interviewed for the book describe her as kind, professional, funny, and as someone who goes out of her way to make others feel fantastic. These are traits we should all strive for.

-If you have a connection to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, please let me know the best way I can get my hands on discounted Keith Urban tickets.

And that’s my January, in a nutshell.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available

Somebody's Watching

2011-01-24T15:58:00.000-08:00

A while back, the headmaster of the school where I taught for so many years forwarded to me an essay written by one of his students. Entitled My Most Mannered Teacher, it was about yours truly. This essay detailed the reasons why she felt I deserved kudos for displaying good manners, for treating everyone kindly, and such. I never had this child as a student. She was a little bitty thing in the elementary department, and I was upstairs with my middle school students. I had very little interaction with this young woman, so you can imagine my surprise when I read her essay.

I’m not relating this to you in order to brag, for I feel there are others at this school more deserving of this praise than I. I’m simply hoping to covey just how those little things we do add up, and to stress that someone, somewhere, is watching.

Sure, we can spend all day long telling kids (and adults, too, for that matter) just what to do. But when the rubber hits the road, it’s our actions that will have a far greater impact on them.

We stress to them the importance of speaking highly of others, then turn around and gossip about our neighbor. We tell them to treat others respectfully while we rudely disregard our spouse. We encourage them to have faith during challenging times, then panic or throw a tantrum when things don’t go our way.

Actions speak louder than words –an oldie but a goody, and a cliché that exists for a reason.

So remember, Sweeties, people do remember what you did, and how you made them feel. Your actions could very easily impact someone’s life. You may be someone’s role model. Keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to forget your manners.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Online consultations available!

Savvy Shopping!

2011-01-17T13:29:00.000-08:00

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: one needn’t spend a tremendous amount of money in order to look fabulous.

Of course, if you’ve got it to spend, go for it; the rest of us, however, must remain mindful of our money and where it all goes. I’ve been a bargain shopper all my life, and base a good portion of my business showing women how to spend their style dollars wisely. So, with that in mind, I’d love to pass the savings on to you:

1.Shop the sale racks. Stores and boutiques have marked winter items down tremendously now (you can save up to 60% in some places).

2.Know where to go. Not every store has something for everyone. Know what your particular style is, and shop only those stores. Too many stops along the way could lead to confusion, and you may run the risk of buying something you don’t truly love.

3.Shop Resell. Consignment shops are a goldmine! You’ll find high-end, quality goods for a fraction of the cost.

4.Join Customer Rewards Programs. Stores such as White House Black Market, New York and Company, and Express offer fantastic rewards programs. Get on the mailing list and they’ll send you coupons!

5.Quality over Quantity. You really only need a few basic pieces. Mix and match those, and update seasonally with trendy accessories. Take good care of your clothes, and they’ll last for a very long time!

I’ll have more savvy shopping tips Wednesday, January 19 on Great Day Houston (www. http://www.khou.com/great-day). Happy shopping!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

The Foundation of Fabulosity

2011-01-09T09:29:00.001-08:00

Well, Sweeties, we’re one week into the New Year. Many of us still buzz about, excited about the wondrous possibilities that 2011 will bring; others of us have already thrown in the towel regarding our recently-set goals (or resolutions, as some call them). I encourage you to take some time, if you’ve not already done so, to really think about the foundation you’re building with regard to success this year. Every thought we think, every action we perform, every word that we utter takes us one step further toward reaching our goals….or not. That’s why we must remain vigilant, keeping our ‘eye on the prize’, so to speak, in order to accomplish anything worthy this year. And me being me, I’ve got a few little elegant ideas to help you kick-start your journey as you build your fabulosity foundation:

1. Decide What You Really Want – None of us will reach a destination if we’ve no idea where we’re going. I encourage you to rise above the status quo and set some lofty goals for yourself. Make them specific (change I want to lose a little weight this year to I want to lose 15 lbs by April 1. Change I want to get more rest to I refuse to work on Sundays this year and will commit myself to getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night). Specificity, my friends, is the key to achieving any sort of success for ourselves.

2. Buy a Full-Length Mirror – There’s no way we can ooze confidence and success if we look like a train wreck. Your outer image does matter in all that you do (stop laughing – it’s true!). If you look like a happy and successful individual, people will assume that you are, and will be drawn to you, thus opening new doors that will lead to new opportunities for you. With that in mind, please know that, in my humble opinion, successful people do not wear any of the following: track suits (other than to the gym), crocs, too-tight or too-revealing anything, or an oversized anything. The first thing people notice is, of course, how we look – keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to wear pajama bottoms to Starbuck’s.

3. Schedule Down-Time – A period of rest is vital to our overall well-being. So is a period of play. Don’t let work, chores, or half-hearted obligations overrun your schedule. You are in charge of your life, so make it work for you!

4. Turn off the TV – I’ve said it before, and I stand by it: the media has inundated our society with too much news, too much garbage in the guise of entertainment, and too many negative messages. Fill your mind – and your soul- by choosing only to view, read, and listen to those things which are positive, uplifting, and enjoyable. All of it makes its way into our subconscious.

5. Remember the Ripple Effect – Smile at the girl behind the counter. Take a moment to sincerely thank your waiter. Generously tip the man who washes your car. You’ll find that these little niceties go an awfully long way. The recipient of your kindness will, in turn, pay that kindness forward simply because you’ve made his day.

Darlings, it’s the little things that matter. We must consciously choose to be a little more fabulous than the day we were before. Look at yourself in the mirror each day and say, “I am fabulous”. Hit your knees each night and thank your lucky stars for every blessing, no matter how big or small, that befell you that day. You’ll eventually find that you’ve built yourself quite a sturdy foundation of fabulosity.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
online consultations available!

Success Strategies for a New Year

2010-12-29T09:01:00.000-08:00

As a new year approaches, we tend to reflect on our lives and devise ways in which to make improvements. Obviously, a new year signifies a rebirth, of sorts – a time to review, revise, and perhaps reinvent. As I’m in the ‘makeover business’, I humbly offer the following food-for-thought as you make those plans for 2011:

1. Decide What You Want – We won’t find success and happiness driving aimlessly through life. We must come to terms with what it is we truly want. Years ago, I decided that full-time broadcasting wasn’t for me. I wanted to teach, and I did that in a traditional classroom setting for a number of years. I realized, however, that middle school English (as noble and rewarding as that profession is) was not where I needed to be. I wanted to instruct others on living well and abundantly. I wanted to help others find their style. I created a plan, and took steps toward bringing that plan to fruition. Scary? You bet! Sailing into unchartered territory always is. My faith and unwavering support from my husband, my family, and my friends helped guide my way.

2.Surround Yourself With Success – We won’t climb higher by hanging out in the ‘Woe is Me’ club. I encourage you to seek out others who have what you want. Hob-knob with the truly happy among us. Bask in the positive vibes of those who have your best interest at heart. Seek those who live serenely and joyfully. It’s time to divorce ourselves of those who bring us down and make us feel less- than-fabulous.

3. Act (and LOOK) the Part – One of the best keys I’ve discovered toward any sort of success I’ve had is by playing make-believe! I started to play the part of a successful person, and very soon doors opened that allowed me to achieve many of my dreams. Too often, people downplay their outer image, thus hindering their chances of reaching certain goals. Track suits, grungy jeans, and crocs do not scream success. Clinton Kelly says, ‘The way you dress tells the world how you expect to be treated.” Do remember that the next time you head out the door.

4.Find a Role Model – Whom do you admire? What traits do they possess that you wish you possessed? Find out as much as you can about that person, and adopt those habits as your own. For me, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis comes to mind. Her sense of style, her mystique, and the way in which she gracefully overcame tragedy are only a few of the things I admire about her. Insure that your role model is someone who contributes positively to society.

5. Turn off the TV – As I child, I learned the concept of ‘Garbage in, garbage out’. Whatever we put into our heads eventually comes out through our hearts. If we absorb the bad behavior we see on ‘reality TV’, then we’ll soon discover that we’re channeling a great deal of negativity. Say ‘no’, I implore you, to dumbed-down ‘entertainment’. Set your sights on only those things that uplift you. Get out and visit with your neighbors. Go for a walk. Talk to your spouse. Call your mother. Find ways in which to make real connections to real people.

6. An Attitude of Gratitude – When we choose to focus and give thanks for the good things in our lives, more good things come our way. It’s true! God, The Source, or whatever you choose to call it, reads our signals. When we feel grateful for what we’ve got, that higher power gives us even more. Ignore the bad stuff – none of it means anything, anyway. We’re here for only a short time. Let’s be grateful for every second of it.

It is my sincerest wish for you that 2011 will be your happiest and most successful yet!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

My online course, New Year, New You begins Monday, January 3. Details on my website.

Gracious Guests and Happy Holiday Hosts

2010-12-04T07:06:00.000-08:00

Preface: I wrote this little bit of tongue-and-cheek scribbling last year after a particularly trying holiday season. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the holidays, but I feel it’s in our best interest to review our behavior before we begin making our travel and party plans. Enjoy!

My grandmother, who’s just shy of her ninety-first birthday, keeps her home temperature at 140 degrees. On Christmas day, she usually entertains about 2,000 relatives (maybe not that many, but it sure seems like it at times) her in small house….all of whom become hot, sweaty messes within an hour. No one complains about the heat, though, at least not to Nanny’s face because a) it’s rude, and b) Nanny still hits really hard.

Having learned the finer aspects of being a gracious guest very early in life (“We’re all hot; just go outside and roll yourself in the snow!”), I’m compelled to review with you the finer points of what to do when spending the holidays in someone else’s home. I say review because, honestly, deep down, I know you know these things. Yet friends, family, neighbors, and clients have all relayed to me truly horrific tales of truly horrifying guests over the years.

Any hostess worth her salt will inform guests ahead of time of any home issue that might inconvenience her guests (broken heater, low water pressure, a sick cat, etc.) That’s your cue to figure out how to accommodate yourself (bring along a sweater and leave the extra-sudsy shampoo at home). It is incredibly rude to point out the obvious, especially if she’s already pointed it out. Doing so WILL embarrass her, WILL hurt her feelings, and WILL result in her silent vow never to have you back. Should Fluffy’s hairball issue prove too much to bear, feel free to politely excuse yourself and go home (but only after thanking your hostess for a wonderful time).

Body odor is never an acceptable form of protest. If problems exist with your host’s plumbing, you still must find a way to practice good hygiene.

Remember the old saying, “Guests and fish start to stink after three days” (and in some cases, after three minutes). Never overstay your welcome. If you notice your hostess yawning or appearing glassy-eyed, take the hint and leave. (A side note: if you’re co-hosting a ‘do, never tell your co-host, “I told so-and-so-to come over whenever”. By golly, you better call so-and-so back and tell them a specific time -2:00-2:30 sounds nice. Time frames are helpful and provide hope).

Never turn on the television in someone else’s home, unless you’re invited to do so. If you must catch ‘the big game’, there’s probably a lovely sports bar just around the corner.

If you’re an overnight guest, learn and live the rules of the house and always pick up after yourself. Keep your bags and toiletries tidy and as inconspicuous as possible.

Leave your dog at home unless your host gives you the okay to bring him. Don’t yell at other guests if Fido happens to make a run for it out of an opened door. Fido is your responsibility.

Having small children does not give you permission to tell others how to baby-proof their homes. Your hostess may like sharp objects – that’s why she doesn’t have kids. Take heart, though: a hostess with enough snap is already one step ahead of you, and has caged her pet raccoon and locked up her nunchucks.

Don’t take the liberty of dusting someone else’s home, unless you’re asked to do so. A guest who asks, “You know what would make this room look really good?” deserves to be smacked in the gob, so watch it.

Don’t bring brussell sprouts to a party.

If your hostess keeps a framed photo of a certain ‘80’s pop star on her desk, it’s okay to say, “My goodness, you’re so silly,” (trust me, she knows she is), “Hey, look, it’s that guy!” or “My god, that man still looks fantastic after all these years!” (because he does). It’s not okay to say, “Why on earth would you have that?” Your hostess may be tempted to respond with, “Why on earth would you wear those shoes in public?” But your hostess has class, and would never point out something she feels is ridiculous.

If the topic of conversation is the return of the legging, it’s a safe bet no one wishes to discuss the state of the economy. Parties and FOX News do not mix.

Remain mindful of your volume. If you notice other guests going to another room to chat, covering their ears, or waiting by the door for the cops to show up regarding noise complaints, that means you’re probably too loud.

If the party invitation states BYOB, then do it.

A huge difference lies between “Pour me another” and “Call me a cab”. Know your booze limits, and never assume your host will allow you access to her guest room, couch, or front lawn if you pass out.

If you notice a small fire in the bathroom, please alert your host immediately.

Our homes are our sanctuaries, and we should all feel honored when invited into someone’s home. We must remain on our best behavior at all times, even with our closest of kin and best of friends. We expect our children to act accordingly, and they certainly won’t learn that lesson unless we lead by example. Good guests are rewarded with invitations to come back, the fancy coffee (‘not the swill we serve everyone else, Darlene’), and increased admiration. Practice the Golden Rule, my friends, and treat others’ homes they way you’d like for yours to be treated.

Enough

2010-11-27T09:11:00.001-08:00

Now that the hoopla surrounding Black Friday has died down – a bit – I think it’s time for us all to sit down, have a re-think, and really take a moment to prioritize our values.

Priorities… values…two concepts that many folks have tossed out the window, it seems.

I’m all for saving a buck, but at what cost? Do we really need to drag our behinds out of bed, don a ball cap and sad track suit, and hit the stores at 3AM?

No.

Nobody needs anymore stuff.

Gadgets, gizmos, and bright shiny things ain’t what it’s all about.

It’s about connecting with one another. It’s about taking care of ourselves so that we may take care of our loved ones. It’s about realizing that everything we need already exists inside of us – if we take a moment away from the media-driven ‘you’ve got to have this or you’re a total loser’ mentality to find it.

Stuff is merely our egos talking.

Every day is Black Friday for those-so-many souls in our society who don’t have enough to eat. Nobody gives two hoots and a holler for gigantic TV’s when they have no home to hang them in. Neglected and abandoned children prefer a hug and a little quality time with some caring soul as opposed to a hand-held device that makes noise. Instead of behaving like untrained animals, why aren’t we spending a little more time helping God’s other creatures find good, loving homes?

‘Now, hold on there, Ms. Elegant’ you may be interjecting right about now, ‘aren’t you that same gal who stresses the importance of clothing…of surrounding ourselves with lovely things….and all that jazz?’ Yes, that’s me, and I’ll gladly share a little insight as to the workings of the fabulous little universe I’ve created for myself:

I don’t own that many clothes. People are quite shocked at the few items I actually have hanging in my closet. I don’t buy it, unless I know I’ll wear it – a lot! God gave me the talent to mix and match, so I ran with it. I drive a ten year old car that doesn’t look so great any more. It gets me from Point A to Point B, and that’s really all I’m concerned about. My home isn’t large, but it serves its purpose for the two people and the two very spoiled cats who inhabit it. We don’t have a lot of junk taking up space on walls or on shelves. The couch has definitely seen better days, but we all wind up snuggled happily together on it each evening. Nobody’s complaining. My house is clean, peaceful, and full of love and laughter, and that’s really what matters most to me.

‘Now, didn’t you even make an offer on Black Friday for your Facebook friends? Something about saving a little money on those Holiday Style Certificates you keep harping about?’

Yes, I did, for two reasons: I like to offer discounts to clients and future clients when I can. My main intention, however, was to keep at least one person from hitting the stores before the crack of dawn. In my humble opinion, knowing how to put an outfit together is a skill that will last a lifetime. It’s a confidence-builder, and will carry a person much farther in life than a twenty dollar bracelet marked down forty percent of its original cost.

The news reported that a local Wal-Mart lost power for a few hours on Black Friday. I can’t help but think that it may have been God sending us a message. Let’s take heed of these little signs, my friends, before it’s lights out – for good.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Tis the Season

2010-11-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

And so it begins.

Here we find ourselves, a week shy of Thanksgiving, and already the holiday spirit has grasped us. Many shopping centers, aglow with twinkles, blast Christmas tunes in order to add to the seasonal vibe.

I’ve a bad feeling, though, that the seasonal vibe has devolved into something less-than-joyful, for I’ve heard too many complaints already about the headache of shopping, the headache of family, and the fears of actually losing one’s house in order to buy his kid the latest high-tech gadget.

Enough, already, I elegantly and humbly ask of you.

It’s the time of year in which we first and foremost must count our blessings. Be grateful for all those folks on your shopping list; there are so many among us who have no one to shop for this time of year.

Oh, and I’ll let you in on a little secret: those on your list will benefit far more from a small gift from your heart rather than something bright and shiny that will add undue stress on you. I hope to never receive something that would put my loved ones into debt (even though I put a $1600 couch on my Amazon wish list. I did it to make my sister laugh. She did. My job is done). I have far more than I’ll ever need, and really the greatest gift I could ever receive is the opportunity to spend time, good cheer, and a lot of laughs with my loved ones this time of year (preferably on a new couch, so if you’d like to contribute to the Beth Newman Sofa Fund, feel free to do so. I’m kidding, of course. My current couch, though old and cat-clawed, suits me just fine.)

Commericialism has gotten so out of hand, particularly around the holidays. A dear friend of mine once told me that she’d informed her children, when they were small, that they could have anything they wanted for Christmas provided they didn’t see an ad for it on television. As a result, her children asked for musical instruments, art supplies, and such, and grew into three of the most loving, giving, and interesting young adults I know.

Perhaps if we related the concept of charity early on to our children, their desire for so much stuff would dwindle. Perhaps if we, ourselves, had been denied a few things as children, we’d be a little more focused on the actual reason for the season.

Here’s my challenge for you, dear friends: this year, take a portion of what you’d normally spend on loved ones and give it to charity. Spend some of that holiday shopping time volunteering in a homeless shelter, animal shelter, or senior citizen facility. Make the kids come along with you so that they can see just how good you’ve got it.

Heck, make this a practice throughout the year.

Remember, it’s all about our feelings and intentions this time of year. Stress, resentment, and worry should never factor into it all.

I truly wish for each of you a holiday season full of love, faith, and charity.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Project REALLY?!

2010-11-05T05:18:00.000-07:00

I’ve had a week to mull it over, and I’m still feeling no better about Gretchen Jones’ win on Project Runway.

Aside from the fact that I didn’t particularly care for her designs (hippie mama just isn’t my bag), I was actually more upset that questionable behavior and a generally snarky attitude reigned over the acceptance, support, and encouragement demonstrated by the other contestants.

I truly believe in having confidence in oneself, but at what cost?

True, Gretchen won a couple of the challenges early in the season. From that point, she adopted the role of Queen Bee in the workroom.

Yet it was the team challenge in which Gretchen displayed some truly appalling behavior. Not only did she coerce team members into following her lead, she then proceeded to throw them under the bus when the judges questioned them about their poor designs. This came right after Gretchen made them all vow to stick together in front of the judges.

This is the only episode I can recall in which Tim Gunn actually scolded a designer. He didn’t hold back and, according to his vlog the next day, Gretchen went to the producers insisting on a private (i.e. - not intended for television) meeting with Tim. The producers informed her that any meetings would be filmed, and Gretchen dropped the subject.

Another incident that stands out regarding Gretchen’s behavior occurred when the designers were instructed to create a new look for Heidi Klum’s sportswear line, available on Amazon. Gretchen created an item that wasn’t even close to what the line offers. In the workroom, Heidi questioned Gretchen’s choices, and Gretchen informed Heidi that her line was missing something. That’s basically telling the boss that her vision just isn’t quite good enough. Big mistake.

Oh, and let’s not forget the fabric tossing scene, either. Throwing things is a no-no, in my humble opinion.

Another thing that resonated with me with regard to Gretchen was how often she mentioned that she needed to win because she needed money. Of course, that’s the point of the whole contest, but I don’t recall any other designers speaking about their financial woes. Personally, I think talking about money is crass.

Although I don’t agree with the final decision of the judges, I do accept it. I’m not taking to the forums to complain, nor am I going on Michael Kors' Facebook page in order to tell him he’s an idiot, as hundreds have done. I’ll just muse elegantly about this one time.

I take comfort in this: good deeds, kind words, humility, and hard work will always overcome in the end. Sure, Gretchen may have won this season, but time will tell just how far she really goes. I am hopeful that if we do see more of Gretchen, it will be a much kinder, softer version of the one we met on the show.

I also take comfort in the fact that some past Project Runway designers who did not come away with the top prize have created quite successful careers for themselves, such as Austin Scarlett and Santino Rice. With that in mind, I think we’ll see much more of Mondo Guerra.

And if I’m being brutally honest, the only winner of Project Runway who’s consistently kept his name in the magazines and his clothes on the runway is the fabulous Christian Siriano. I looked back over the list of winners, and I can’t recall most of them.

Next season, I’m hopeful that each contestant is required to read Tim Gunn’s latest book, Gunn’s Golden Rules. It might make for a much nicer season for them, the judges, and us viewers.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
www.firststyle.webs.com
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

October's Nutshell

2010-10-29T08:14:00.000-07:00

As Tallulah Belle and I chatted this morning over coffee about this past month, I realized that I’ve learned an awful lot these last few weeks. I’ve discovered that we really should let certain issues go, while we should address others rationally and of course, elegantly. So here goes my month, in a nutshell:

-Be wary of washing machine repairmen who claim that buying a new unit would be far more affordable than having the current unit repaired. It’s not true. Also, don’t offer the repairman any candy until he’s sufficiently completed his job.

-I must thank Sienna Cleaners on Lexington in Sugar Land for providing such great laundry service while the aforementioned washing machine was on the fritz. There really was no need to hang the towels and washcloths, though, on individual hangers; folding them would have been just fine.

-Kudos to my neighbor for posting a notice to our little townhome community about the dog issue. The noise and mess are truly getting out of hand, and this particular notice makes much more sense than last’s months notice that we all meet to complain about the trees that were chopped down. No one mentioned actually replanting the trees….they merely wanted us to join in a good, old-fashioned gripe session. We passed, obviously.

-I understand that we all have our own tastes, fashion-wise, but I simply cannot come to terms with the fact that Gretchen Jones and her Whole Foods, hippie-inspired monstrosities were crowned winners during last night’s season finale of Project Runway.

-On that note, I’ve fallen madly in love with Tim Gunn. I encourage those of you who aspire to more elegant living to read Tim’s latest book, Gunn’s Golden Rules.

-In other book news, Rick Springfield’s Late Late at Night is truly a remarkable read. On his book tour, he’s primarily asked about his bouts with depression, his infidelities, and of course, Jessie’s Girl. I’d love for reporters to ask him about his journey toward spiritual awakening, for that’s what I enjoyed most about the book. I’m no longer 15-year-old Beth with a mad crush on him; I’m 40-year-old Beth with nothing but deep admiration and respect for him, his talent, and his candor.

-The Toot N Totum on I-40 and Washington in Amarillo, TX refuses to allow EMS workers the use of its restrooms. This is nothing short of shameful. EMS workers spend long, exhausting hours insuring our well-being, oftentimes putting their own safety at risk. I think a very elegant boycott is in order, don’t you?

-Why is it so difficult to find Halloween goodies three days before Halloween? If I were in the market for chocolate Santas and marshmallow jingle bells, I’d be in luck, but that’s not what I’m in need of at the moment.

-The Doodle Buddy application for the I Phone is a God-send for those of us who are called upon to keep a three-year-old entertained.

-Dr. Scholl’s Her Fast Flats come in men’s sizes. Don’t ask me how I know this – I just do.

And that, Sweeties, is my October in a nutshell! Cheers!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
www.firststyle.webs.com
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

More Than a Little Scary, I Think

2010-10-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

Information revealed on last night’s episode of Fashion Police stunned me: reports claim that the best-selling Halloween costume thus far is that of Snookie – you know, the little gal who represents what I hope to be the worst part of New Jersey.

Honestly?

Now, I don’t watch her show, and therefore know very little about her. My limited knowledge stems from what I read in Star magazine. From what Star tells me, I can only assume she’s loud, obnoxious, and a heavy drinker who’s experienced brushes with the law.

She doesn’t sing, dance, or act. But she’s famous – really, really famous.

So yet again we observe another example of our society as a whole sinking further and further into the depths of déclassé amusement.

I’m weary of it, darling, I truly am.

Of course, Halloween is intended to frighten us a bit, to provoke us a little, and to take us on a short stroll along the darker side. Witches, goblins, and ghosts, however, have been replaced by pimps, ‘ho’s’, and the aforementioned Snookie.

Oh, I don’t get this one either: why are there so many costumes designed to sexualize? Strolling through my local costume shop the other day, I saw Sexy Nurse, Sexy Cat, Sexy Demon, and Sexy Clown. There’s nothing sexy about them, in my humble opinion – I just find them trashy and sad.

I’m no prude by any stretch of the imagination. I’m just a simple gal longing for a little elegance and creativity during Halloween (and throughout the year, for that matter).

If an adult chooses to Snookie herself up this year, that’s okay – it’s her right to do so. With that being said, should an adult encourage a child to do the same, I shall take issue. Any junior Snookies (or ho’s or sexy whatevers) will not get candy should they ring my bell on All Hallows Eve. They will get a copy of my book Become a First Style Fashionista (sorry for the shameless plug, boys and girls!) and the adults responsible for allowing them to show up at my door in such unacceptable costumes will be given my raised eyebrow.

Think long and hard about your costume this year, my dear.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
www.firstyle.webs.com

Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Successful Shopping Strategies

2010-10-09T07:06:00.000-07:00

Over the last few years, I’ve spent many an hour with women inside various boutiques and department stores, searching for those outfits that will make them feel like a million bucks. As the aforementioned stores have officially begun their peak season, I want to take this opportunity to share with you some thoughts on making your next shopping spree a true success for you – and for them:

1. Wear the right undergarments. If you’re in the market for a silky, clingy cocktail number (and you should be, by the way, for party season is quickly approaching) don’t show up in a jogging bra and cotton underpants that are two sizes too big (or small, for that matter). Wear, or at the very least bring along, what you’d normally wear under an evening ensemble.

2. Look your best. It’s hard to get excited about trying on clothes when you’ve not a hint of makeup nor have taken the time to fix your hair. These little things truly make a difference.

3. Know what to expect. Cost-wise, boutiques are generally mid-to higher range, so be prepared to spend a little money. Don’t complain about the prices, and don’t have the audacity to ask for discounts. If you’re looking for steals, visit the well-known discount places, but do so with this in mind: most of what they carry is from last season. Develop an awareness of the shops before you hit them!

4. Be mindful of returns. Know the store’s return policy (it’s most likely printed on the bottom of your receipt). Don’t buy a boatload of clothing with the intention of returning a portion (or all of it) – not only does the store take a hit when you do, the stylist who sold it to you does, as well. Yes, most stylists work on commission, and most of them spend hours sorting out things just for you, so be mindful of that if you should start to have second thoughts about your purchases.

5. More on returns. I find it incredibly tacky when someone has obviously worn a garment and then has the gall to return it. Trust me, the boutique’s staff knows what you’re up to; they see the makeup on the collar, and can smell your perfume on the garment. They also know that wine stains were not prominently featured on the item when you left with it. Don’t try to pull one over on them, please, for they do remember – and talk about – these things.

6. Customer service. Boutiques pride themselves on hiring actual, trained stylists who are more than happy to assist you in fitting rooms. You won’t find that in department stores or the discount places, so don’t expect it. I also encourage you to take to heart what the stylists tell you. They’ve a trained eye, and those with integrity sincerely have your best wardrobing interest at heart. (Side note: if you’ve no intention of buying, don’t waste the stylist’s time. One stylist friend of mine once spent two hours in a fitting room with a woman, who claimed to love everything, yet left empty-handed. Seek attention elsewhere, please).

7. Refrain from including your teen-aged daughter in your fashion decisions. Nothing baffles me more than a woman who will hold off on buying something new for fear her teen-aged daughter will disapprove. You’re the adult; she is still a child. Even if she’s fashion-forward, she doesn’t know what works best on your 40-something frame. Parents who constantly seek approval from their children worry me; but I’ll save that for another blog.

So there you have it – my little spiel on successful shopping strategies. My intention is to guide you on the art of seeking out new clothes. Enjoy the experience, and remain open to new, gorgeous things!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

September's Nutshell

2010-10-02T05:19:00.000-07:00

Here I sit, reviewing the month of September for any startling revelations or any a-ha moments. What have I learned this last thirty days? What’s amused me…baffled me….made me go ‘hmm’? Surprisingly not that much; but you know me, I’ll always dig up something to share.

-I like to work. I really, really do. Keeping busy keeps me alive. I’m blessed to pursue those things I truly love to do.

-A certain squirrel I know is nothing short of a menace. I see you eyeballing my patio, and strongly advise you to think twice before entering.

-Every experience builds upon itself, thus taking us to the next level – if we allow it to do so. As I get older, I realize that I never should proclaim, “Well, that was a mistake and a huge waste of time.” The mistakes and time wasters are intended to teach us something.

-I'm baffled when someone tells me, “I need something to go with a pair of black pants,” Aside from pastels, pretty much anything will work with a black trouser.

-We really should pay very close attention to our dreams, for the subconscious mind is a powerful little cuss. In the back of my mind, I’ve known that I’ve not eaten terribly healthfully nor worked out like I should these past couple of weeks. Last night’s dream of vegetable hummus wraps eaten at the gym’s café have motivated me to get back on track.

-Is there anything more fun or more reviving than cleaning out one’s closet and revamping one’s wardrobe? I think not!

-Is Kim Zimmer enough to lure me into watching One Life to Live?

And this, my friends, concludes my monthly review. How did you fare in September?

An Age-Old Conundrum

2010-09-24T12:06:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, as I tarted myself up for a night on the town, I discovered an old tube of lipstick in the back of a vanity drawer. Ruby Red Rush, it was called. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d rushed for ruby-red lips, but I thought, ‘what the heck, let’s give it a shot’. Once applied, I gave myself a good long look in the mirror, and realized something: I looked like my father...in drag (the thundrous whirring noise you hear is him spinning in his grave at the very notion).

I realized that evening, as I wiped Miss Ruby Red from my lips, that I’ve reached the age in which I can’t pull off just any old thing. I once loved sporting the reddest red of lips, but alas, thanks to the fine lines Mother Nature keeps imbedding around my smile, I can no longer sport a loud mouth (this refers only to lipsticks and glosses, by the way…I’ll still spout off when I shouldn’t , most likely).

That, in addition to September’s focus on the new fashions, got me thinking about age-appropriateness. It does exist. It does not, however, mean that those of us who’ve reached a certain age must reach for the elastic waist-banded trousers and blue hair rinses. It merely means we must become cognizant of what we can and cannot get away with anymore.

Makeup: Go lighter with lipsticks, and pay very close attention to eye makeup. I, personally, prefer a dramatic eye, and thanks to Nova Lash eyelash extensions, the focus remains up, up, up rather than down, down, down, where years of sunbathing and heaven- knows- what -else have dragged the rest of my face toward the floor.

Hair: Bangs rule, and are much cheaper than Botox. A face-framing cut does wonders for a gal’s look and psyche.

Clothes: We get into trouble here. Just because we still have it in certain areas doesn’t necessarily mean we should flaunt it. No matter how tight your tummy is, it’s still no match against an ab-solutely toned belly of a 22-year-old. (And for you younger girls: please don’t flaunt anything less than a perfect stomach. Crop tops are really not that flattering on anyone). Long legs don’t give us license to wear the latest minis if we’re over the age of 25. If you’ve got the cleavage, go for it, but only if your skin is impeccably smooth.

Word to the wise: Form fitting is much more flattering than overly exposed skin – at any age.

The Venue: Keep in mind the importance of the setting. Those outrageous, dominatrix-inspired boots have their place. Visiting the folks back home is not that place. Cocktail attire does not consist of spandex. Flip-flops do not fall under the dress code of church.

Think about proportion and silhouette. I love the marriage between classy and funky, and with a little homework, we can all find the right look that’s not only flattering but exudes a youthful vitality. It’s all about confidence, baby. Find your look and rock it!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant, Life Coach, Author
www.newmanimage.info
www.firststyle.webs.com
Online consultations available!
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

The World Keeps Turning...Or Not

2010-09-17T17:17:00.001-07:00

Well, the world stopped turning today.

Of course, I don’t mean literally. After fifty-five years, the CBS soap, As the World Turns, came to an end.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Although I’ve enjoyed the show sporadically over the years, its demise didn’t knock me to my knees in grief they way last year’s cancellation of Guiding Light did. Guiding Light was family; As the World Turns merely friends you always enjoyed seeing on occasion.

My interest reignited when I learned a few months back of the show’s imminent departure from daytime. And I have to hand it to the powers that be: it ended on a far better note than that of my beloved Guiding Light. Not only were veteran cast members utilized in interesting and even surprising ways, the show brought back some old favorites (including a guest appearance by Julianne Moore, who got her start on ATWT). The tribute to Helen Wagner and her character, Nancy Hughes, brought tears to my eyes. The finale centered on the retirement of Dr. Bob Hughes, which I thought a nice touch.

Of course, now the big question is this: which soap will I jump to next? I can’t seem to wean myself from the genre, but I’ve no clue where I’ll get my daytime drama fix!

If Rick Springfield reprises his role of Dr. Noah Drake on General Hospital, I’ll definitely go there. Perhaps I’ll trek over to Genoa City for some Young and The Restless. They have Newmans there, so I’m sure I’ll feel right at home.

I fear, though, that soap operas may soon be a thing of the past, and that makes me sad. I spent my childhood watching ATWT and GL with my mother. During college, my friends and I arranged our class schedules so as not to miss one second of each show. As twenty-something singletons, no matter how late at night my sister and I would get in from doing heaven knows what, we’d always watch ‘our stories’ together before drifting off to sleep.

With that being said, thank you, As the World Turns, for always being there for me…even during those times I totally ignored you. Sorry for that - I will miss you!

What They're Doing Now

2010-09-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

I learned a great deal from Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine, the originators of What Not to Wear, which aired a few years back on BBC. Through their show and in their books, I came to understand the importance of fit, proportion, and color. Although they presented concepts that I didn’t necessarily agree with (come on, we can wear black occasionally), and their technique with clients was a bit more aggressive than I thought necessary (must they grab every woman’s breasts whom they encounter?), they were usually dead-on in their assessments.

Naturally, I became intrigued when I heard about their new endeavor, What They Did Next, an Internet series (http://www.trinnyandsusannah.com/live/content.php?Item_ID=12) that captures their comings and goings following their What Not to Wear triumphs. Confusion is the only way I can sum up how I felt upon viewing the first episode: Is this a documentary? Are they trying to be funny? Are they presenting caricatures of themselves? Baffled, I clicked on to watch episode two. The confusion morphed into sheer and utter disappointment. The two women who forged the way for fashion awareness come across as nothing more than two completely unaware, selfish, and ungrateful brats.

I understand now that they’re not portraying themselves. What I don’t understand is why they’re portraying such sad, desperate, and distasteful versions of the Trinny and Susannah I came to admire years ago. They’ve obviously stolen concepts from the absolutely fabulous Absolutely Fabulous, and the results are disastrous. (Let’s remember, Absolutely Fabulous is a work of fiction, and I’d be hard pressed to find anyone who could top the comic genius of Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley).

Trinny, with her newly inflated lips and not-so-subtle hair extensions, presents herself as an incredibly vain, overly pampered potty –mouth. Susannah’s constant drinking and chain-smoking have me longing to call an intervention. Where’s the fashion? Where’s the chic- factor? Where are their children while this nonsense is taking place? Both are mothers, but the setting of this show would lead us to believe that they’ve no one but each other and a small group of hangers-on (who, incidentally, don’t hang on too long).

Granted, I only watched two episodes, but one thing I do know about marketing and presentation is this: you’ve got to hook them early in order to win them over.

With that being said, I realize there is a great deal of what passes for entertainment these days that appeals to the lowest common denominator: mindless, negative fluff that does nothing to uplift or enlighten. I suppose Trinny and Susannah recognize this, and have jumped on the ‘do anything to get your face out there’ bandwagon.

Ha-rumph.

But then I happened upon this excerpt from Tim Gunn’s new book, Gunn’s Golden Rules, and realized that there are those who work in the fashion industry who still have heart, character, and class. Trinny, Susannah, and the rest of us should take a cue from Mr. Gunn’s advice:

1. Take the high road – Tim recalls how he’s sometimes mistaken for Clinton Kelly from the American version of What Not To Wear. Rather than take offense at this faux pas, Tim graciously and kindly lets them know that he’s not Clinton. (I can’t imagine him cursing or throwing a fit the way Trinny and Susannah have done when they’re not recognized on What They Did Next.)

2.Be Nice – Tim tells how Fern Mallis, the genius behind New York Fashion Week, offered this bit of advice to designers during season two of Project Runway. Tim goes on to say, “There is absolutely never any reason to be a fire-breathing dragon”. (Trust me, a great deal of fire-breathing exists on What They Did Next. Heck, it existed when Trinny and Susannah hosted What Not to Wear)

3.Never Underestimate Karma – Tim describes how he feels as if casual politeness has become extinct (I’m with you, Mr. Gunn). Bad behavior will always be punished in some form. (Hmmm…perhaps that’s why Trinny and Susannah are no longer working with BBC…)

I can breathe a little easier knowing that individuals such as Tim Gunn are out there in the fashion industry, doing their best to mentor others without aggression and snobbery. It’s fantastic witnessing designers Austin Scarlett and Santino Rice make dreams come true for small town women in their show On the Road with Austin and Santino. The wonderful Clinton Kelly can point out a fashion mishap humorously without making a gal feel bad about herself. His counterpart, Stacey London, swings from brash to teary-eyed at the sight of a woman who finally gets a sense of herself, fashion-wise.

So, I suppose today’s lesson is this, boys and girls: class reigns supreme, if we allow it to. Self-loathing and over-the-top self-parody might result in undesired consequences. Gratitude for past success and hope for the future carries us into the realms of greater success.

And no one can out-fab Patsy Stone and Edina Monsoon, so why even bother?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info

September's Good Buys

2010-09-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

Dear friends, I cannot stress to you enough just how much I love the month of September. The lazy, hazy days of summer have disappeared, and now we look forward to reviewing, reenergizing, and revamping our look. Even if you’re still suffering sweltering heat (as am I here in Houston), it’s wise to store the warm-weather wardrobe and bring out the Autumn-inspired outfits that will carry you into the cooler months ahead.

And in order to ready oneself for the seasonal transition and ultimately the change, it’s now wise to buy:

Pocketbooks and wallets – a great fall or winter bag will carry you through an Indian summer, a prolonged fall, and the whole of winter until spring springs forth. You may carry it for some months, so choose carefully; now is the time for the indulgent bag you’ve been craving.

Party dresses – although you may not feel like it at the moment, it’s the best time to snag a couple of to-die-for dresses to see you through the holiday party season. Channel your inner-Audrey: keep it classic and elegant, and store it properly for use in years to come.

Winter separates – Again, high temperatures in your part of the world may tell you otherwise, but most likely the stores in your neighborhood are already stocked with winter wear. Trousers, skirts, sweaters, and long-sleeved tees await you. Take advantage of their presence now before they disappear.

For more information on the season’s best, I invite you to read Elegant – the little ‘zine dedicated to fabulous living – at http://newmanimage.info/Elegant.html.

Here’s to falling beautifully into September!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach/Author
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
www.firststyle.webs.com
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best! Online consultations available!
Beth's book, 'Become a First Style Fashionista' now available through Amazon!

August's Nutshell

2010-08-28T05:54:00.001-07:00

Over coffee this morning, I reviewed the month of August in order to determine if I’d learned any lessons or discovered something fabulous. Did I find amusement in unexpected places? Was I pleasantly surprised at any point? The answer to all of the above is a resounding ‘yes’, so here I go with my so-called epiphanies:

You can’t tell me that negative energy doesn’t profoundly affect people, places, and things. I think a whole darn building could rot when old, negative vibes aren’t shooed away and replaced by happy and healthy ones.

Sometimes, situations really do come full circle. Familiar faces from long ago might appear in the most surprising venues.

Those little Ped socks, when worn over carefully moisturized toes at night, can save a pedicure without burning you up in your sleep.

Can a cat suffer from male-pattern baldness? The jury’s still out, but so far, all signs point to ‘yes’.

As much as one would like to assume that certain people have changed, evidence, unfortunately, reveals otherwise (although we still must remain hopeful for positive change and remain mindful of the fact that there is power in leading by example). On the other hand, those who may have been written off as lost causes might just step up to the plate and, in their own weird way, try to make amends for past dirty deeds.

I am truly overwhelmed by the support and loving vibes I get from people each day. Please know that I send that support and love right back to you!

Gary Stewart was one of the most underrated honky-tonk singers around.

And that, dear friends, is my August in a nutshell!

Just Stuff

2010-08-20T08:36:00.001-07:00

I spent last night – well past midnight, mind you -purging my closet.

It’s that time of year, I suppose, in which I’ve grown absolutely weary of my summer wardrobe, and am none too keen on my current fall offerings.

Something inside simply won’t allow me give the stuff away, even though I know darn good and well that there are many women in my area who could use it. So I shall compromise: mark each piece down to an almost sinful price and sell, providing me with a little extra cha-ching for the new clothes I’ve been coveting in boutiques all over town.

As I sorted through my stuff, I got downright sentimental about a few things. Could I possibly say goodbye to the fabulous little white Calvin Klein all-weather jacket that protected me from inclement weather during my trip to Italy? Could I bear to part with what I affectionately refer to as my ‘Mary Tyler –Moore’ wrap dress that my wonderful husband bought me a few years back? And what about those bright yellow stilettos that turned oh-so-many heads back in the day when I actually wore them?

The answer, sadly, is yes. Though I hate to see some things go, I realize they must. They’ll hang neglected in my closet, eye-balling any new wardrobe editions, and become jealous. Some may grow depressed, others may riot, and I just don’t have the time to deal with any of their drama.

So here they sit by me in my office, stacked up, bearing little stickers that read $1, $2, and so forth. Signs for my afternoon ‘Patio Boutique Sale’ have been placed throughout the neighborhood. I’m hopeful each will go to a good home, to be worn with pride by someone who cherishes them as much as I once did.

Each piece really does have a story to it: the awful suit I bought last year because I simply felt I must have an actual suit. I wore it twice, and felt like Hillary Clinton each time I did. The long satin skirt – an EBay find – that made me feel like movie star. The cropped jacket with ¾ sleeves reminiscent of one of my fashion idols, Jackie Kennedy. I wore it quite a lot during my teaching days, and it will always remind me of the girls in my class who raved about it each time I did. Oh, and my favorite travel bag, the one I just found over twenty euro in, that was by my side throughout France, Spain, and Greece…if that bag could talk…….

But the fashion beat goes on, and I must dance along with that beat. Such is life: change is inevitable, and when we recognize that change is in order, we must take action. We must let go in order to make room for new, beautiful things to enter.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
www.firststyle.webs.com
My book, 'Become a First Style Fashionista' now available through Amazon!

Who's Better?

2010-08-12T10:01:00.000-07:00

During last week’s First Style Fashion Camp, I caught the tail-end of a very serious discussion amongst my little fashionistas. “Who’s better – Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez?” The debate lasted well past snack time, and I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself at the very question – who’s better? Not who’s more talented? Not who’s prettier? Simply, who’s better?

My good Baptist upbringing taught me to believe that in God’s eyes, we’re equal. Schmuck A is no better than Schmuck B. Yet our image-conscious society convinces us otherwise. Certain girls with certain attributes certainly seem to make out like bandits compared to their ‘less-attributed’ counterparts. Certain boys with certain toys are regarded a bit higher than their toyless buddies. Perhaps if we removed our blinders and actually tried to see through the eyes of God, we’d be a little less critical and a lot more loving.

Now, this may sound crazy coming from an image consultant, but my philosophy is this: it doesn’t matter how shiny your shoes are, if you are critical – of yourself and of others – you really won’t be happy. If you’re too focused on the outward without paying diligent attention to the inward, you’ll struggle. And life, my friends, should never be a struggle. Challenging at times – yes, but we should never feel put-upon, threatened, or worried about certain things that just don’t matter. A higher power protects us and looks after us…but we must be willing to allow this higher power to do so.

So to answer the question who’s better?, let me just say this….we all have different talents, tastes, dreams, and desires. None are better than those of anyone else. We are all the same. We all have something positive to contribute. If we all recognize this, our world will be a much better place.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
www.firststyle.webs.com
My book, 'Become a First Style Fashionista' is now available at https://www.createspace.com/3470009

August's Good Buys

2010-08-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

The time is now to fall into….well, fall.

Yes, dear friends, I realize the last thing on our minds right now is finding fabulous fall jackets and the perfect winter coat. With summer’s sweltering heat, all we really want to do is lounge by a pool with a refreshing frosty beverage in hand. But think about it, we must, for it’s the best time to score wonderful wardrobe additions for cooler months ahead. You’ll find many stores stocked for fall already.

When shopping for jackets, go for fitted – nothing boxy or oversized. Try to snag a few that are lined on the inside for an ultra-chic look. Your winter coat should provide warmth, obviously, but don’t let it overwhelm you. One can’t go wrong with the classic trench; camel will be the hot color for the season.

It’s also a good time to shop for jeans (select sophisticated, darker denim), flat shoes (DSW carries incredibly cute ones), and load up on big costume pieces and textured tights - they are still all the rage, and are trickling into stores right now.

There’s no need to buy an entirely new wardrobe, so before embarking on a shopping frenzy, take inventory of what you already have. Get rid of anything that doesn’t fit or that you haven’t worn in a couple of years. You can probably donate most items, but do throw away anything with rips or stains.

The best part about the upcoming fall and winter season is that we continue to see a return to a more classic, refined look. Let’s make the cooler seasons ahead our chicest yet!

Beth’s Pick for Fab Fall Finds:
White House Black Market (www.whitehouseblackmarket.com)
New York and Company (www. NYandCompany.com)
Charming Charlie (www.charmingcharlie.com)

For details on the 80's trend that's not going away soon, check out the August edition of Elegant - the little zine dedicated to fabulous living - located at www.newmanimage.info

Beth Newman
Image Consultant and Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
www.firststyle.webs.com

My book, 'Become a First Style Fashionista' will be available through Amazon next week!

July's Nutshell

2010-07-29T11:02:00.001-07:00

I believe we can learn an awful lot about ourselves and others by sheer observation. This month, I challenged myself to take notes on the-out-of-the-ordinary (and not so out-of-the-ordinary), in order to figure out what makes people tick. I didn’t figure it out, but I did see and experience a few things that made me go ‘hmmm…’

*It’s always nice to get together with friends you haven’t seen in a while. It’s even nicer to encounter and befriend new people who share your outlook on life.

*Getting upset about or questioning the activities of others serves no purpose whatsoever. Live and let live – it’s an old cliché, but a mighty good one.

*Creating a scene at the grocery store because you misread a coupon is never a good idea. Taking up the time of the busy grocers to question it and demanding they honor what you believed the coupon represented is even worse. Slamming your cart into the cart of a certain gal as you storm out of the store is inexcusable, and may result in unwanted attention, as that certain gal you slammed into may take to her blog and muse elegantly about it.

*There are truly some wonderful and helpful souls among us who go out of their way in order to help us succeed. Take the time to thank them.

*Meddling in the business of others is just a bad idea, no matter how noble your intentions are. And if your intentions aren’t noble, then shame on you.

*Renewing an interest in As the World Turns is only going to cause you pain when the show ends in September. You’re still stinging from the cancellation of Guiding Light, so why on earth did you put yourself in this position?

*Positive attention brings much greater satisfaction than the negative variety.

*If you’re not in the habit of looking your spouse in the eye every day and sincerely telling him how much you love and appreciate him, do it. Now.

*Rainy evenings are best spent eating pizza and enjoying a marathon of Christopher Guest movies. Be careful, though: you may find yourself tossing about lines from those movies for days to come. (Current faves in the Newman household: Wha’ happened? Dibbit schmibbit, I said ham, and the ever-popular This one goes to eleven.)

*Exercise extreme caution when allowing the over-85 crowd access to tequila.

*Never wear a jogging bra when shopping for clothes. Do shower before hitting the fitting rooms; boutique owners and stylists everywhere will appreciate it.

*There really is no substitute for Fresh Step cat litter.

And that, my friends, is my July in a nutshell. Here’s to a fabulous August!

A Fashionable Sneaky Peek!

2010-07-22T13:51:00.000-07:00

I’m sweltering in the Houston heat and humidity, so I must confess, Sweeties, that I wasn’t too terribly interested in opening any of the many fashion magazines I subscribe to, all of them proclaiming
“What’s Hot for Fall!”

But open them I did and found myself in for some truly delightful and inspired reading.

My goodness gracious, we’ve got ourselves a regular popourrie of new styles coming up, and I couldn’t be more thrilled! My fave five fall looks are as follows:

Fur-bulous! (faux or real): an explosion everywhere on the runways, from vests to jackets to fur-lined collars.

Dare to Drape: Draping will be HUGE this season! We’ll also see a lot of ‘cut out’ looks as well.

Leggy looks: skinny and slim-cut pants reign supreme. Don’t be afraid to try a pair on – you’ll love them! Panty hose are still out, but brightly-colored tights are still in.

Bye-Bye Bling Bling: Fall’s accessory must-have is the fantastic layering of pearls or beads.

Color Story: We’ll see a lot of burnt sienna and camel. Other big colors for autumn include gray, lipstick-red, teal, and purple. Michael Kors covered it beautifully!You can catch his fall fashion show here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inkRKFWpbUI

Boutiques everywhere are already bringing in a bit of fall, so hop to it, my friends!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

My book, Become A First Style Fashionista, will be available through Amazon in August!

The Old Razzle Dazzle

2010-07-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
(‘Razzle Dazzle’ from the musical, ‘Chicago’)

Razzle dazzle. I often associate it with sequins, boas, glitter, and perhaps a disco ball thrown in for good measure. I love razzle dazzle, but I don’t necessarily think it needs to be limited to tangible bright-and-shiny objects.

Razzle dazzle is an attitude and some people emit it so beautifully that it can actually bring me to tears. These are the fabulous people…the people we desperately want to come to our parties…the people whom we’re convinced are far more interesting, intelligent, and glamorous than the rest of us.

Take heart, Sweeties – everyone possesses the power to razzle dazzle.

Everything we say, do, feel, and yes, wear can increase our razzle dazzle quotient considerably. The razzle-dazzler will not show up anywhere in public wearing just any old something-something. She’ll look far more interesting than her beautifully-garbed friends: an antique broach, an old derby hat, riding boots….sure beats the uniform look of mass shoppers everywhere.

The razzle-dazzler lives up to his name because he can tell a deliciously gripping story. Getting shot at while working undercover for the government – that’s razzle dazzle. A gruesomely-detailed account of a bunionectomy – not so much. An online status update that he’s just shared a fabulous dinner with Liza Minnelli – that’s razzle dazzle. An online status update that he just downed a burrito from the corner 7-11 – not so much.

A razzle-dazzler emits light. She walks into a room and owns it. She’s relatively quiet, though, preferring to observe what is most likely a group of well-meaning-yet-trying-too-hard-individuals. The razzle-dazzler doesn’t have to try at all. People are naturally drawn to her. She’s mysteriously fascinating. She appears genuinely interested in what others have to say. She keeps her voice low, and her sly sense of humor makes those over-the-top-bawdy girls seem rather sad.

The razzle-dazzler does not seek entertainment from a satellite-empowered box; he gets his kicks by simply living. His artistic, literary, and musical tastes are quite varied, and he’d never bore you to tears with political talk or tell you to get right with the Lord.

So you see, razzle dazzle truly is within our grasp. We simply need to make an effort toward it. Wouldn’t the world be a far more interesting and enlightening place if we did?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available
My book, 'Become a First Style Fashionista' will be available in August through Amazon.

July's Good Buys: The Beach Emergency Kit

2010-07-08T08:42:00.000-07:00

‘Tis the season when many of us – including yours truly – set sail for sand, sun, and perhaps starlight soirees by the sea. Don’t you dare do it, though, without your Beach Emergency Kit (henceforth known as the BEK).

Most of this applies to the ladies, but gents, there are a few little items you, too, could afford to take along (in your own bag – hers is already full!)

A spare swimsuit: in the event you’re invited to a pool party or dinner aboard a handsome stranger’s yacht, you’ll want to wear something different…something not covered in sand and seaweed.

A pair of cheap lightweight earrings: to go along with the spare swimsuit should either of the above occur.

A baseball cap: it will keep the glare off you whilst riding the waves. Your regular sun hat won’t do – save it for when you’re lying on the sand sipping a frosty beverage.

Refillable spritzer bottle: Fill it up with water for a quick refreshing face or body spray or to wash off the salt and sand.

There’s more I’d like to place into what I’ll refer to as the “Well, Duh” category.

Honestly, I’m surprised how often people turn up at the beach without the following: sun block, lip balm, sun glasses, a small mirror, a comb, a tiny pouch of tissue and baby wipes, travel-size deodorant (please), hand cream, a big bottle of drinking water , and money (a few bills and maybe some change – nothing major)

Of course, you should personalize your BEK with other products that you can’t live without (hair gel, extra pair of contact lenses, etc.)

Now, should you have an inkling that the day’s beach activities will lead to a little night action, remember the following, and add accordingly to your BEK:

In addition to the small earrings, throw in a cheap, beach-inspired necklace or bracelet for added pizzazz.

Create a new evening look from what you’ve already got in your BEK. Perhaps your bikini top stayed dry. If so, pair it with the bottoms of the spare (be sure they coordinate, though), or you could simply put on a pair of shorts. A sarong utilized as a swimsuit cover can easily be transformed into a halter top. Play around with it until you get it just right.

Pack the jeweled flip-flips. They’re much more suitable for evenings.

Of course, it’s vitally important that before you reach your evening destination from the beach that you put your comb, baby wipes, tissue, and deodorant to good use.

Do right at the beach without looking too done-up. Have fun, remain flexible, and strive for a truly fabulous fun-in-the-sun summer vacation!

Ps…if you have any other additions to the BEK, I’d love to know about them!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

online consultations available; my book, 'Become a First Style Fashionista' will be available in August through Amazon!

Heavy Handed

2010-06-28T08:00:00.001-07:00

Summer has officially dawned, and I think an attitude of ‘lightening up’ is in order, particularly when it comes to our handbags.

My darlings, if you’re still toting the black leather number you bought last November, I implore you to open your eyes and take a look at the wondrous warm-weather bags ripe for the picking:

Color is essential. Shades of blues, yellows, and even lovely summer-reds line boutique shelves, just dying for you to take them home.

Straw is also a viable option: I discovered the most deliciously elegant straw bag at Charming Charlie’s earlier this season (Yes, Charming Charlie’s – I’m not snob, when I find something fabulous and affordable, you can bet your sweet bippy I’ll grab it). This bag is, without a doubt, my ‘go-to’ favorite of the moment. It’s huge (which I need for lugging essentials like wallet, lipstick, magazines, candy bars, and such), chic (works well with my ‘taking care of business’ attire), and versatile (doubles as a shopping bag when they’ve run low at CVS).

Too often, we forget that the little things really do matter when it comes to our wardrobe. The bag, the shoes, the belt, the bracelet….although small details, really, they make a tremendous impact on our overall look.

Store away that lovely black bag for a while. It’s simply too heavy for summer’s light-and-easy looks. Time passes quickly, and very soon you’ll be able to haul it out once again.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

online consultations available
my book, 'Become a First Style Fashionista' will be available through Amazon in August!

My New Friend

2010-06-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

I met the most fascinating woman this week.

Our introduction occurred in a clothing boutique. I struggled to determine her age (it’s impolite to ask, you know). Twenties, a very good thirty-ish…I couldn’t figure it out, and of course, it didn’t really matter. We began chatting, and I found myself totally in awe of her. She’s tall, with the most beautiful, unruly head of hair I’ve ever seen. Her deep, smoky voice rarely rises above a whisper. She revealed very little about herself. Originally from New England, she made her way to Texas last year because she felt ‘it would be best’. I don’t like to pry, but I confess I could not wait to hear her story, because I knew it would be absolutely delicious.

Randomly, she asked about my posture. I told her that standing up straight was merely a habit, and anyone could do it. “I want you to help me,” she said, “feel free to physically straighten me up anytime you see me slouching.” There’s no small talk with her; she gazes into your eyes intensely, asking questions, and really wanting to know things about you.

She has no car (not even a drivers’ license), and lives ‘with a few people’. “I like to work,” she said. “When I’m not working I’m at home. I have no family here. What else am I going to do?”

By this time, I’m bursting with intrigue. Her mysterious aura mesmerized me. I want to know everything I can about her!

“Have you read The Secret?” she asked. Of course, I have. “What about The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success?” I explained to her that Chopra’s little guide was the one that got me started on my journey toward enlightenment. “Me, too….yeah, me too….” She responded dreamily.

All I could gather from our first conversation was this: she’s smart – almost ‘scary smart’. She’s taking steps toward finding out ‘what it’s all about’ (her words). She’s been in some trouble that’s separated her from her family. She doesn’t party, because she’s ‘done with that scene.’

And here’s the kicker: she’s only 18-years-old.

She carries with her such presence, such mystique, and such confidence that I naturally assumed her to be older. She possesses that certain something that a few women spend a lifetime seeking. She’s not interested in figuratively purging herself as so many are. In a day in which anything goes, she’s guarded enough to keep others coming back for more – a breath of fresh air, to be sure.

We’ve talked every day this week. She asked me if I might serve as ‘a bit of a mother figure – nothing heavy’ for her, since her own mom is so far away. Having no children of my own, this is the sort of request that really gets you right where you live.

I’ve often heard about old souls, and I know I’ve met a few of them in my life, but none has fascinated me more than this young woman. A kinship between us already exists – one that I cannot explain. And I look so forward to seeing where this ride may lead.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

Dress The Part!

2010-06-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

I’ve often heard (and have always preached) that in order to get ahead in the workplace, one must dress for the job she wants, rather than for the job she currently holds. I think the same philosophy rings true for life, too: if we want to convey a certain something, and to get ahead personally, it’s vital that we dress the part.

As shallow as it may seem, my friends, society does judge us by the clothing on our backs. As Clinton Kelly from TLC’s What Not To Wear says, “How you dress tells the world how you expect to be treated.”

And honestly, don’t we feel better about ourselves when we’ve put forth a little effort? It’s a great little mind-trick. When you know you look fabulous, you’ll walk a little taller. You’re more willing to make eye contact with others. Heck, you might even smile at a stranger. Others will view you as confident, intelligent, and generally far more interesting than the Croc-wearing woman standing next to you in check-out line.

Now, I’m not saying we must don our Sunday best for mundane errand-running; I’m telling you, though, that an oversized t-shirt and baggy shorts simply won’t cut it.

With the onset of summer’s heat, I constantly hear, “It’s too hot to dress up”. Hogwash. Plenty of cute, casual, and comfortable clothes hang in shops right now, begging you to take them home and wear them!

I realize money might be a concern, and it really needn’t be. Get on the email list for affordable places such as New York & Company and Express – they’ll send you loads of coupons and are notorious for sales. Join the Black Book Club at White House Black Market and save 5% on each purchase (in addition to regular sales, coupons, and birthday bonuses). It’s a rare occasion in which I’ll pay full price for an item, so I certainly don’t expect you to do so. (Side note: a gal does not need a ton of clothing. Get a few separates for mixing and matching)

“But I just really don’t care what I look like, or what other people think of me.” I’ve heard this one before, and I can’t help but think that an underlying issue exists with this way of thinking. Why are you afraid of getting noticed?

Also, given the overload of information we’ve access to these days, there are those who still aren’t quite sure what suits them, wardrobe-wise. They don’t realize the power of color. They’ve no clue about the importance of fit and proportion. My advice is to find a role model and emulate her style. Be realistic, though: if you’re not built like Jennifer Aniston, chances are you won’t look as snazzy in some of the numbers she wears. Pick up a copy of Vogue, Marie Claire, or Lucky to discover the current, hot looks. Enlist the help of a trusted, honest friend. Take the plunge and hire someone to help you (I just happen to know of a fabulous woman whose job consists of the very thing we’re discussing……)

The point of it all is this: we must develop an awareness of the silent message we’re conveying to the world. In order to attract good friends, good times, and good vibes, we’ve got to dress the part!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
online consultations available!

A Little Information, Please

2010-06-17T05:32:00.000-07:00

Please give me the minimum amount of information with the maximum amount of politeness.(Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis)

This statement provides me with yet one more reason to adore the late JBKO. In this age of information, one can literally become overwhelmed by it all. It doesn’t help, either, if you find yourself stuck with Chatty Cathys all day long.

Why do so many feel the need to purge themselves by talking incessantly about anything and everything? Do we owe it to “reality” TV, where so many people have license to say and do the most outrageous things? Do we owe it to cable news and the internet, where up-to-the-minute reporting prevails? Or is our society becoming so narcissistic that we naturally assume the rest of the world sits on the edge of its seat, waiting impatiently for our next word?

I enjoy good storytellers, provided that they’re actually telling a good story. I don’t enjoy rambling accounts of mundane activities. I don’t enjoy hearing private information that should only be discussed with one’s spouse/doctor/priest/therapist. I don’t enjoy someone telling me how fabulous he is – his actions should reveal it, not his words. I really don’t enjoy repeat offenders – those who tell the same tale over…and over….and over.

And please don’t get me started on those who walk through stores and other public places chatting on their cell phones. Take it to a more discrete location, and finish your conversation, please.

A mentor of mine kept a book on her desk entitled With Silence Comes Wisdom. She lived it, too, by working hard and not partaking in the typical water cooler conversations. She told us what we needed to know, and did so graciously.

My mentor never sat in another’s office for minutes on end, keeping them from their work. Before any conversation, she asked, “How are you?” and really listened to the response. She seemed genuinely more interested in hearing about other people. As a result, she got the best out of her employees.

That, in my opinion, exemplifies grace. It’s also great communication tactic. She accomplished extraordinary things with little verbal fanfare, much like the aforementioned JBKO.

With silence comes wisdom. So true.

Now That's Classy!

2010-06-10T18:45:00.000-07:00

In every society, there are ‘human benchmarks’- certain individuals whose behavior becomes a model for everyone else – shining examples that others admire and emulate. We call these individuals ‘class acts’ – Dan Sullivan

Some devotees of etiquette and style turn their noses down at the word ‘classy’ – they feel it just isn’t, well, classy. I’ve always liked the word, though. As a little girl I equated ‘classy’ with overly-suntanned women wearing white swimsuits and gold necklaces who sipped Tab by the pool all day. They’d later change into lovely caftans and join some hunky, heavily- mustached gentlemen for a glass of Ruinite while listening to the Captain and Tennille’s Do That to Me One More Time on their hi-fis.

You’ll have to pardon my limited childhood scope. I grew up in a very small-town. No one wore white swimsuits, and almost everyone blew off steam with a cold can of Coors and Willie Nelson blaring from an 8-track.

As I got older and expanded my horizons, I realized that classy goes far beyond the message the 70’s television ads were trying to send to poor dumb kids like me: classy is a state of mind. It’s the way in which we treat one another. It’s the way in which we treat ourselves.

Waking up each morning with a big grin and the words thank you on the tip of our tongues – that’s classy.

Taking the time to put on a little lipstick and something that doesn’t make us look like we just got out of 7th grade PE – that’s classy.

Asking others about themselves and really listening to their answers – that’s classy.

Minding our manners and our language both in and out of the public eye – that’s classy.

Choosing to surround ourselves with positive influences – that’s classy.

Focusing on every good aspect of our lives, and choosing to ignore the crummy ones – that’s classy.

An excellent sense of humor – that’s classy.

Remaining true to who we really are without fear of judgment or repercussion – that’s classy.

Allowing The Captain and Tennille and Willie Nelson to share space on our IPod – that’s classy.

All we have to do, my friends, is raise the bar a little higher for ourselves.

Let’s uplift others while enjoying each day. Let’s be the kind of people whom others look forward to spending time with.

To those of you who truly strive for classiness each day, I raise my Tab and salute you.

Style Watch with Beth Newman: Summer Product Watch!

2010-06-09T05:51:00.000-07:00

For additional episodes of Style Watch with Beth Newman, please visit www.youtube.com/user/newmanimage

Summer Fashion Flubs Fixed!

2010-06-07T08:57:00.001-07:00

With summer heat looming, many of us suffer from style melt-down. Yes, we must dress for the weather, but that does not mean we should throw our good fashion sense out the window. We owe it to ourselves to take the time to look our best – even when the temperatures soar.

Say no to ratty, ill-fitting T-shirts. Say yes to colorful wrap tops – they complement the silhouette more.

Say no to wearing spaghetti-strap camis as shirts (they are, essentially, underwear). Say yes to fitted tanks (which, by the way, look far more interesting when layered).

Say no to too-short shorts. Say yes to Bermudas. Anything that hits just above the knee is far more flattering, especially if you’re like me and your legs have seen better days! (Regarding shorts – if you’d never wear a particular length in a skirt – thigh-high, for example, don’t wear it in a pair of shorts)

Say maybe to Capri pants – they flatter so few people, really. Insure that yours fall just below the calf, which is the widest part of your lower leg. Say yes to lightweight trousers or, better yet, flirty, floaty skirts and dresses.

Say no to black during the day. Say yes to bright blues, corals, and greens – colors that complement the season. Black is very dramatic, and should be treated with far more respect than we’ve been treating it in recent years.

Say no to heavy fabrics. Say yes to light ones that breathe.

Say no to sky-high or chunky heels during the day. We need to lighten up this time of year. Say yes to ballet flats or elegant sandals. NOTE: sandals really are not appropriate for the office (a peep toe, though, is acceptable).

Say no to flip-flops, unless you’re at the beach. Say yes to…see above.

Say no to forgoing accessories. Say yes to bringing out your big, bold, best. Accessories really do make or break an outfit.

Other heat-beating hints:
In your handbag, place a style emergency kit – include moist towelettes, travel-size antiperspirant, a ponytail holder, and face blotting tissues.

Spray your tootsies with an aerosol antiperspirant, such as Suave, to keep your feet fresh during the day.

Wear a hat. Not only are you protecting your hair from the sun and shading your face, you’re also adding a bit more panache to your look.

And for you gentlemen out there, I invite you to check out our For The Boys section in June’s edition of Elegant – the little ‘zine dedicated to fabulous living – located at www.newmanimage.info for your summer style tips.

Don’t let the heat zap your style – fight those fashion faux pas of the season!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
Online consultations available!

Choices

2010-05-27T05:21:00.000-07:00

Life is all about choices. Some may argue that things simply happen, or may play victim to life’s circumstances, but I believe that where we stand in life is a result of choices we make. Of course, forces beyond our control throw rocks at us from time to time, but our attitude and our effort to rise above any occasion sets the tone for the day. And yes, we do have control over attitude and effort.

It begins with our first thought each morning. A friend used to rise each morning, groan, and say, “Aw… (insert your favorite expletive here)”. Rather than experience excitement at a new day, he chose to focus on “all the (again, insert your favorite expletive here) I have to do,” with no effort to acknowledge his blessings. We didn’t stay friends for very long - too much negativity for me.

Call me shallow, but I truly believe that our image choices affect our attitude. It’s a fact: when one looks his best, he tends to feel his best, and that will ultimately lead him to do his best. That’s why I find it so surprising how little effort many folks put into their appearance these days. The schlumpy sweatpants and flip-flops worn to practically any public place have caused a schlumpy mindset in our society, I think. I’m tired of schlumpy – aren’t you? (Although I like to say “schlumpy” – it’s a fun little word that rolls off the tongue)

Day-to-day living can certainly lend itself to a drop in positivity. That’s why we must make the effort to look for the good things and to get out of a routine. We must work, that’s true, but must we eat lunch at our desks every day? Might we wander out and grab a bite at a local café with a friend? Could we forgo the hours upon hours of TV each night to visit with friends, go to a museum, or simply stroll through the neighborhood?

Finally, at the end of the day, we must count our blessings, offer thanks for all that we have, and acknowledge that those rocks that may have been thrown at us are intended to teach us lessons.

It’s a choice to enjoy life and to do those things that make you happy. It’s a choice to strive for a positive attitude each day and to treat yourself – and others –well. Will you make the effort or won’t you? The choice is yours.

Was It Something I Said?

2010-05-24T16:25:00.001-07:00

Yours truly has recently been called out regarding a couple of articles I’ve written, so I thought it wise to come clean about a few things.

First of all, I’m not writing about you. I take little bits and pieces of things I witness, things that I feel should be addressed, and attempt to shed a little light on the matter. I’m not judging anyone, nor am I attempting some sort of underhanded jab at anyone. That’s not my style, and anyone who truly knows me understands that.

Second, it’s fine and dandy to question anything I’ve written. As a writer, I expect it. Heck, I encourage it. Let’s generate some sort of dialogue and get a ‘big picture’ movement going. With article-writing and blogging, we tend to write in generalities – the genre simply won’t allow us to dive in too deeply and cover every aspect of every situation. I’ve got my views; you’ve got yours, so let’s chat!

I’ve never claimed to be perfect, and anyone who’s spent a good five minutes with me can certainly attest that I am not.

So rather than musing about it all, I’ll just make a list and let you know where I stand on certain things – things that I’ve actually been questioned about lately:

-We’re all here for a reason, so why not make it a good one? I like to help people, I really do, and I know that within us all dwells the power to create meaningful, magnificent lives. If I can help you tap into that power with any little musing I might publish, then I’m a happy girl, for sure! Any guilt or resentment you may feel upon reading any of my little scribblings might be an indication that something isn’t right in your world. I’d be more than happy to help you figure it out, because I want you to live joyfully and peacefully. I sincerely mean it.

- For me, personally, television is a big waste of time. What little free time I do have is spent outdoors – by the pool, on the beach…just seek out some water, and you’re sure to find me there. Don’t ask me if I’ve caught (insert your favorite program here) because I haven’t. I’m a fan of Absolutely Fabulous; I own the DVD collection and watch it probably far more than I should, Sweetie-Darling. Project Runway is a hit with me, and occasionally I’ll catch The Office and 30 Rock. You have your shows, I have mine, and that's that, as far as I’m concerned.

- As a woman I find Sex and the City truly offensive. I can’t say why, specifically – I just do. Please stop asking me if I’ll go see it with you. If it entertains you, that’s great – that's what it's supposed to do. It leaves me sad and a bit frightened…but that’s just me. I, evidently, have overlooked that certain something that makes it so popular. (And yes, I did watch a few episodes, and am baffled that it became not one, but two smash movies - go figure!)

-Generally speaking, I have no problem with plastic surgery. I’ve no problem with Botox. I’ve an issue, however, with overall transformations on the Heidi Montag scale. I’ve often found, too, that sometimes those little nips, tucks, and augmentations never truly satisfy a girl. Confidence, self-esteem, and happiness must come from within.

-I do not have a problem with people who are overweight. I’ve been there myself, and I know how challenging it can be to lose it. I am, however, concerned by those who merely complain about being overweight rather than actually doing something about it.

-I’ll never understand the popularity of crocs, nor do I get why so many people choose to wear track suits during air travel.

-I don’t get your garden gnome, and I get it that you may not understand my framed photo of Rick Springfield that sits on my desk.

You see, we all have our ‘things’ – our likes, our dislikes, our preferences, and such. I’m really not trying to push any sort of ideal off on you. I merely want to inform, perhaps enlighten, and maybe even entertain through my writing.

And that, my friends, is me in a nutshell: a silly girl who believes that life should be a worthy and fun adventure, a gal who believes in the power of fabulous shoes, a chick who enjoys a good laugh at the absurdity of pretty much any given situation, and someone who truly never intends to offend anyone.

I’m me…you’re you…and it’s all good, as far as I’m concerned.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Hocus Focus

2010-05-17T05:03:00.000-07:00

I believe in magic. Not the kind you find at kids’ birthday parties or lavish Las Vegas shows, though; I believe in the kind of magic that surrounds us each day. I believe, too, that we have the power to tap into our own Harry Houdini and create truly magical experiences for ourselves.

But before we start waving our wands willy-nilly, we must be certain of one thing: our intentions.

In order conjure up something fantastic, we must first determine what that fantastic something is. One of the main reasons people don’t get what they want out of life is because they simply don’t know what they want. Perhaps they’re living the dreams others have placed before them. Perhaps they’ve been conditioned to believe that focusing on a particular dream is selfish. It takes a lot of soul-searching, prayer, and meditation to overcome these limitations, but trust me when I tell you that it’s well worth the time and effort.

I think, too, that mind-clutter keeps us from living magically. With all the bad news, bad TV shows, bad music, and bad movies floating around out there, we tend to mire ourselves down into a swamp of negativity. All the violence, deviance, and selfishness we read about, listen to, and watch eventually enters the subconscious mind. Years ago, I learned the concept of ‘Garbage In – Garbage Out’ and although I didn’t apply it at the time, I now know for a fact that it is true. We can’t live magically while wallowing in a dumpster.

I encourage you today to take a little time to think about what it is you truly want out of life. Overcome any fears or limitations you may have. Surround yourself with positive energy. Then prepare yourself for a wonderfully magical ride!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Contact me for details about my online course, Miracles, Magic, and Everyday Grace!

Beth's Seal of Approval

2010-05-13T18:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, I realize I cover a great deal in the Product Watch section of Elegant (the little ‘zine dedicated to fabulous living, located at www.newmanimage.info) each month, but so many amazing things have been stirring within my head and filling my closet that I simply have no choice but to share them with you!

New and Fabulous on the Wardrobe Front!
The slim-cut pant is so in vogue right now, and I love it! The best trouser, hands-down, that I’ve recently discovered comes to us from the new Ecru line. Fast becoming an important presence in the marketplace and in the closets of stylish women everywhere, Ecru has quickly established itself and developed a following among fashion-aware women (I own three pair already!) They’re a double-stretch cotton/poly/spandex blend and run true to size. They do not bag…they do not sag. Comfortably chic and oh-so-cool, you’ll find them in quality boutiques, such as JoAnn’s in Sugar Land and Houston.

Ecru 'Simone' Pant

Can you believe the vest has made such a smashing comeback? I’m thrilled, and it brings me great joy to tell you that New York designer Bob Tapp is back – on a limited basis – with his fantastic creations! These little works of art, available only at JoAnn’s, are the perfect addition for anyone seeking a little something outside of the box, wardrobe-wise. I proudly own two Tapp Vests, and receive loads of compliments each time I wear them. Enough said, I think!

Tapp Asian Derby Vest

(Side note: Should you not be in the Houston area, email me and I’ll gladly send you more detailed information and pictures regarding Ecru, Tapp, or any of the fantastic lines carried by JoAnn’s (Alberto Makali, Zanilla, Boho Chic, AZI, etc.) JoAnn’s ships all over the country, so give me a shout and I’ll gladly set you up!)

The Eyes Have It!
The must-have accessory of the moment? Eyelashes, my friends! I’m out and proud about my Nova Lash eyelash extensions! I don’t wear mascara anymore, and the upkeep is minimal. Tish Wolter is the certified go-to gal in Houston. Shoot me an email and I’ll provide you with Tish’s contact information.

Bronze Beauty!
I always take heat this time of year (no pun intended) regarding a suntan. A healthy glow, I feel, is a must right now, but should you not have time to ‘get your tan on’ the old-school way, I encourage Sugar Land residents to pay a visit to my friends at Sunny Beach Tans (16525 Lexington in Sugar Land). Under new ownership, you’ll find state-of-the-art equipment, including the VersaSpa Skin Care System (www.VersaSpaSystem.com). Sunny Beach Tans is super-clean, super friendly, and has an incredibly knowledgeable staff. Be sure to tell them Beth sent you!

I feel so fortunate that part of my job includes trying out and trying on the latest. I love sharing this information with you, and always love hearing about the clothing, products, and places that work for you!

No Mystery

2010-05-10T05:27:00.000-07:00

Gwyneth Paltrow graces the cover of this month’s Harper’s Bazaar.

I open it, and discover Julia Robert’s toothy grin as she represents Lancome.
A few pages over, Amanda Seyfried endorses a Movado watch. Turning the page, I find Scarlet Johansson wearing the new Roses Collection from Dolce and Gabbana. Next up, it’s Audrey Tatou for Chanel. Turn another page, and there’s Julianne Moore staring at me winsomely through a pair of Bvlgari sunglasses. She’s followed by Ellen DeGeneres, who’s representing Cover Girl. There’s Drew Barrymore, also making a show for Cover Girl. I continue, and discover Madonna kissing some young man for Dolce and Gabbana. Just when I think I’ve trudged through every celebrity endorsing just about every product, I find Halle Berry for Revlon.

I miss models.

As an out-and-proud magazine junkie for the last twenty-five years, I must be completely honest and tell you that I’m bored with celebrity endorsements. I prefer some mysterious young woman looking lifelessly at me from the pages as she tempts me with the latest-this-or-latest-that.

As a kid, I always loved looking at the models almost as much as I loved looking at the clothes and dreaming about the products I hoped to use one day. Christy Brinkley just seemed super nice, Cheryl Tiegs, I convinced myself, was super-cool, Janice Dickinson epitomized super-exotic, and Beverly Johnson seemed super-super in every way. They were beautiful and mysterious, and that’s something we’re in short supply of these days: mystique.

I suppose the mystery started to unravel with Brooke Shields’ proclamation that nothing came between her and her Calvin Klein’s. The early 90’s brought us the age of the super-model. Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelist, and Naomi Campbell lived like rock stars, and we saw much of it thanks to increased publicity surrounding them and famous folk in general. It wasn’t enough for the super-models, or for us, I suppose. Cindy made a pretty forgetable movie, then married and divorced Richard Gere. Linda outraged many when she claimed she wouldn’t get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day. And Naomi….well, you know the story.

We know too much about other people these days. Thanks to the Internet, I know far more than I ever wanted to know about the famous, the infamous, and the regular folks. Mystique, it appears, is a thing of the past, and that makes me a little sad. Too much information has caused me to become a bit jaded, I fear, and the use of celebrities to peddle everything from perfume to pork rinds doesn’t help. I won’t buy Lancôme because I’ve never understood the hoopla surrounding Julia Roberts. Movado missed the mark with me – I’ve no idea who Amanda Seyfried is. I don’t think lipstick when I see Halle Berry; I think, didn’t she just split from her baby daddy?

And if magazines in general continue to bombast me with covers of Gwyneth or Sarah Jessica, I will seriously consider cancelling my subscriptions. I want girls who know how to model beautiful clothes. I want girls whom I know nothing about, thus allowing me an unbiased take on what it is they’re trying to sell. I want a little mystery in my magazines and in ‘real life’ – I’d love to be able to wonder what someone is up to, rather than reading about it, in great detail, on social networking sites. Instead of talking about our lives, let’s turn off the computer, turn off ‘reality’ TV, and go out there a live them. Mystique is such an attractive trait, I think, and I’d love to see more of it. Wouldn’t you?

Beth Newman
Image consultant/Life coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
online consultations available!

Commitment to Excellence

2010-05-06T05:39:00.001-07:00

You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you – James Allen

It’s a simple idea, really – one of committing ourselves to only the best life has to offer.

Yet so many of us settle for mediocrity.

The world holds true abundance and joy for us all, if we allow it to do so. We start by offering and feeling thankful what we have, and we don’t focus on those things we don’t. We then dedicate ourselves to excellence in all areas of our lives. We expect it, and we don’t settle for the mundane anymore.

Commitment to greatness, rather than goodness, is one of the fastest ways I know in which to reap the rewards of life. Use the good napkins rather than paper towels during dinner. Stop wasting time in front of the television when you could spend that time better learning something new, talking with a friend, or simply sitting and reflecting on the day. Speak kindly, and show respect toward others as well as toward yourself. Readily forgive others when they’ve hurt you, and readily forgive yourself for any shortcomings.

Our society in general seems to be content with merely ‘getting by’. I’m not content with that, and it is my sincerest wish that you aren’t, either.

Life is too short, my friends. Why not take the high road in all situations? Seek happiness, offer comfort, and make the conscious decision daily to strive for excellence in all that you do and say. Expect excellence, and you’ll get it!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
online consultations available!

May's Good Buys

2010-05-03T08:27:00.001-07:00

Let’s see…

Sunglasses? Check!
Denims? Check!
Spring and summer shoes? Check!
Dresses? Check!
Tanks and tees? Uh….won’t mine from last year work?

The answer, my friend, is ‘no!’ As we enter the month of May – the last official month of spring – we must insure that we’ve our warm-weather wardrobe intact, and that includes the little, lightweight things.

We must purge our tank and tee collection right now. Sure, those white t-shirts purchased a year ago might look okay, but hold one up to a shiny, bright new one and you’ll see the difference. Some tees lose their shape after a few spins in the washing machine. Trust me, you’re better off saying ‘sayonara’ to them all and welcoming in a new batch.

Tees and tanks reign supreme as the most versatile items in our wardrobe and the most affordable. (Personally, I go with Hanes Her Way – the three pack – that I can easily pick up at my neighborhood Target for around $10). We can wear these little miracles just about everywhere and with everything: Pair one with a jacket and skirt for the office; get rid of the skirt and jacket and put on a pair of jeans or lightweight trousers – viola – you’ve got your weekend look together!

Layering t-shirts and tank tops is also a really good styling trick and a great way to get different looks. Open yourself up to colors you normally wouldn’t choose: Layering two colors that pick up the print in a skirt make for a visually interesting look.

Do consider your bras when shopping for tanks and tees. Calvin Klein’s T-shirt bra still reigns supreme, in my humble opinion. The smooth texture and extraordinary fit are the only way to go underneath your t-shirts.

Gals of a certain shape will benefit from a Lycra cami with a built-in bra and adjustable straps. Wear it under anything, and notice the support and smoothness you’ll get in return. Word or caution: Lycra fits snugly, so it won’t be as cool on those sweltering summer days.

The temperature is rising, so stay cool, my friends – literally and figuratively!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!
online consultations available!

Word to the Wise

2010-04-23T09:12:00.001-07:00

I like to think people have our best interest at heart when offering unsolicited advice, but deep down, I don’t really believe that they do. I encourage each of us to take a buyer beware approach before accepting and acting upon something we didn’t ask for in the first place. You see, some offer ‘helpful hints’ merely as an excuse to intimidate us. Some do it perhaps because they feel threatened that we may, in fact, hold a bit more power than they do and are attempting to undermine that power. Some do it because they truly feel they are more intelligent and enlightened than everyone else on the planet. Some merely do it for kicks and giggles. In the end, though, they really are nothing more than an annoyance, one we must rise above and completely ignore.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m big on seeking advice. I’ve surrounded myself with an incredible team of ‘advisors’ whom I bother every day. These are people I trust, of whose opinion I hold in high regard. They live well, laugh often, and don’t sweat the small stuff. These are the people who truly have it together – why on earth would I ask the advice of someone who doesn’t?

There are certain instances in which we must provide much-needed help. Discreetly let your friend know she has lipstick on her teeth. Quietly make her aware that she has toilet paper stuck on the bottom of her shoe. Gently yet quickly walk her to the car if she’s had too much to drink. If someone offers you a mint, please know it’s her kind way of letting you know that your breath is less-than-minty-fresh.

So whose ‘word to the wise’ must we remain wary?

The mom who walks into the classroom and says to the teacher, “You know what you should do?”

The alleged friend who tells a woman, “That dress looks horrible on you,” knowing full well the dress isn’t bad at all. In fact, the dress is a knock-out, as is the woman wearing it.

The manager who delegates most of his work, then explains to those he’s delegated it to just where they went wrong.

The blogger who adopts the ‘I’m a little bit smarter than you, dear reader’ attitude, in spite of his deplorable grammar and stilted writing technique.

The armchair quarter-back. This is the guy who merely sits there, munching Doritos, and tells you where you’ve gone wrong while you’re trying to accomplish something more substantial in life than sitting in a chair and munching Doritos.

So, how do we rise above it all? Confidence, my friends – that’s the key to it all. It’s coming to terms with who we really are and what we want out of life. It’s establishing a clear vision for ourselves and remaining true to that vision. It’s getting over our ‘people-pleasing’ mentality, and realizing that we’ll never please everyone. We don’t have to. As long as we’re happy, and as long as we’ve got support from those who really matter, we’re going to be just fine.

Weighing Heavily On Me....

2010-04-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

The following is not intended to offend. It's intended to enlighten and inform about the importance of healthy eating and exercise. It’s intended to shed light on certain prejudices and assumptions. It’s intended for us to stop, think, and get real about things. I’ve worked with numerous women, young and old, in this particular area. Please know that it is written out of love and concern…..

Marie Claire magazine now has a section entitled Size Matters. This month’s focus, called Big Girl in a Skinny World, offers slimming hair and makeup techniques for ‘full-figured gals’. That’s all well and good, and I do not have a problem with the article whatsoever – it’s well-written and informative. I do take issue, however, with the Big Girl in a Skinny World title. I find the Skinny World reference ironic given the fact that the obesity rate in this country has skyrocketed. We don’t live in a skinny world; if anything, those of us on the thinner side of the spectrum now face certain prejudices and all-out snarky comments because we don’t fit in to what now seems the norm.

I know what it’s like to be a big girl. My weight fluctuated for years due to inactivity and poor eating habits. It was difficult to lose the weight, and it’s not always easy to keep it off. I made a commitment about ten years ago to live a relatively healthy lifestyle, one that requires me to rise each morning at 6am, work out for at least 45 minutes, and repeat the process the next day. Yes, that’s seven days a week. I don’t do it merely to stay thin; my focus is on wellness, and we are not well if we are carrying extra weight.

Now, I’m not a food prude by any stretch of the imagination. We all have our vices (I type this as I sip my third cup of coffee). I enjoy a glass of wine in the evening. Should the state of Texas decide I must be executed, you can bet your sweet boots that my last meal will be the biggest enchilada platter Café Adobe can provide. For the most part, however, I stick to the good old veggies, fruits, protein, and healthy carbs method. It’s all about moderation when it comes to food and drink.

With that being said, let me get back to what I’d originally wanted to say: we are far too focused on weight. For the most part, our weight and our general health are choices. Please don’t tell me it’s genetic; one may be prone to weight issues from parents who also suffered weight issues and was not taught at an early age moderation and the importance of healthy eating. Please don’t tell me it’s because you’ve recently been divorced, widowed, dumped, or fired – those are merely excuses. Please don’t tell me it’s because you don’t have time to exercise, particularly after having relayed to me what’s happening on Dancing with the Stars, The Apprentice, or whatever else consumes your evenings. Wellness, and maintaining a healthy weight, are choices that require a commitment on your part.

As women, we do see fluctuations when we step on the scale, thanks to childbirth, menopause, and that special, full feeling we get prior to Aunt Flo’s monthly visit. Again, we must focus on wellnes, rather than a number, and wellness includes good nutrition and exercise.

And how about the reaction that thinner women receive now from some of our heavier sisters? Accusations of eating disorders get tossed about, as do snide comments about easily being able to shop for clothes (FYI – it’s not easy, for any of us, thanks to sizing and manufacturing these days – don’t trust the number on the tag – try it on, and prepare to have something about it altered!) I’ve been on the receiving end of such comments from virtual strangers in the gym locker room to know this for certain. These types of comments are just as hurtful as any that have been thrown the way of a full-figured gal. No one wants to be called scrawny. No one wants to be questioned about why she’s thin, as if it’s a fault. No one wants to feel bad simply because she’s made the choice to live healthfully.

Big Girl in a Skinny World. How about Nice Girl in a Healthy World? Let’s stop focusing on numbers (particularly those that belong to other people) and focus on living healthy, happy, and well, shall we?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

online consultations and mentoring available!

And the Horse You Rode In On

2010-04-14T07:18:00.001-07:00

I think as a society it’s time for us to lighten up, don’t you?

Everybody has a cause these days, or some sort of message, or perhaps an agenda to try to get others on board with their way of thinking. I’m all for supporting certain causes and I’ll certainly listen to your message, but I may be wary of your agenda, so you’ll understand if I take a moment to process it all before getting back to you.

You see, many people are complex individuals who require both sides of a story before proclaiming ‘Yes, I’m down with that!’ Politics comes to mind. I make it my policy to never discuss my political views with someone unless I know her really well. I will tell you, though, that I do support gay marriage, but I ask kindly that you allow me my constitutional right to bear arms. That goes to show you that I’m all over the place, politically. Red flags pop up when someone tells me he’s a die-hard- this or a die-hard- that. I would never take to the streets in order to promote or protest something; I feel my vote and a prayer are sufficient. (Side note: I often wonder what would happen if those who did take to the streets protesting certain issues actually spent that time volunteering in an adult literacy program in order to assist others in comprehending information and thus allowing those people to form their own opinions about certain things…..)

Next up: Religion! I grew up a Southern Baptist, and am grateful for the foundation it provided (you know, the Golden Rule and such); however, it took me a long time to overcome the hypocrisy I witnessed within the church. It also took me a while to overcome the images I held of ministers yelling at my 10-year-old-self from the pulpit about how I was destined for hell if I didn’t do right by the Baptists. Jesus never yelled….why did these guys? Sometimes, the messages shouted to us had the opposite effect: to the preacher who actually said it was our duty to go out and ‘kill a queer for Christ’ please go back and review my stand on gay marriage. (Yes, he really said that, and if you don’t believe me, you can call my mother and ask her – she questioned him about it, right in front of the congregation. She didn’t like for me to watch Boy George videos, but by golly, she knew when to call somebody out on something so utterly hateful and backwards!)

I guess the point of this little musing is this: we must have the confidence to stand for something (or we’ll fall for anything, goes the old cliché). We must take the time to inform and educate ourselves about big and little issues, and we must be willing to allow others to possess their own opinions on these big and little issues. We must get to know ourselves really, really well in order to know how we feel about things. Then, we just need to let the way in which we live our lives serve as an example to others.

Bogus Self-Esteem

2010-04-07T08:52:00.001-07:00

Did you hear the one about the child who received an award every year at school? It wasn’t necessarily won due to merit. The school’s policy dictated that every student must win one each year.

Or, how about the one whose parents placed their child smack-dab in the middle of their universe? Every party, every outing, and every activity at home centered on their child.

Are you aware of the twenty-something, so used to getting his way and receiving pats on the back just for walking into the room that he can’t quite wrap his head around the fact that he’s not landed a CEO gig, even though he is a college graduate (by two months, mind you).

My-oh-my. What a sense of entitlement.

I love children, and have devoted a number of years toward educating them, nurturing them, and enlightening them. I do not, however, condone pandering to them, nor do I think it’s a good idea for them to get the impression that the world revolves around them. It doesn’t, and the sooner they learn this lesson, the better off they will be.

When I was growing up, I had my share of ‘kid stuff’ in the form of birthday parties, sleepovers, and such. However, my parents lived their own lives, and I was dragged along on many adult-centered adventures. Most of our vacations took place in the quiet stillness of the mountains, rather than at amusement parks. My parents hosted parties while my sister and I played with Barbie dolls in our room. I knew my parents loved me, but I also learned quite early that they were more than ‘just parents’. They had their own friends and enjoyed their own kind of fun – the kind of fun that did not include children.

I did win a few awards in school, but believe me, I had to work hard for them.

I graduated from college and ended up working at a radio station full of men, some of whom had been in radio longer than I’d been alive. I didn’t expect to land prime air-time, and I certainly didn’t: I got my start working midnight-6am while only insomniacs and perverts listened. Did I complain? No. Did I beg for sweeter air-time? No. Did I get sweeter airtime when I proved myself capable of handling it? Yes.

Fast forward to my career as a classroom teacher.

I joined the staff of a very new middle school. At the end of the year, my principal informed me that every child in my homeroom was to receive an award. “Just make something up, if you have to,” she said. So I did. I think about the little stinker who received “Improvement in Communication” merely because he’d stopped swearing so much.

I fell to my knees in gratitude when the school came to the profound conclusion that every child winning an award might not be in the best interest of the child or of the school. “What if,” an administrator said, “we gave awards based on merit only?” Gasps flew throughout our little school community, and you can bet we were all taken to task by crying children and their angry parents afterwards. Most of them finally got used to the new policy; others, not so much….

I will never forget Mr. Motivation, whose son was in my 8th grade homeroom. I refer to him as Mr. Motivation because he fancied himself as a motivational speaker, author, and self-esteem guru. Junior Motivation was a nice kid, but not a stellar student. He missed a lot of school for various reasons (headache, lactose intolerance, paper cut, Grandma took him shopping – I’m not making these up). He didn’t participate in any extracurricular activities. He claimed to be on the tennis team, but rarely showed up for practice. Anyway, Junior wasn’t acknowledged during the awards ceremony, something his father could not fathom.

Mr. Motivation stormed into my classroom, demanding to know why Junior wasn’t recognized. I pulled out the guidelines set forth by the school that stated, in great detail, the requirements for receiving awards.

“But he’s such a good kid!” Mr. Motivation proclaimed.

“Yes, he certainly is,” I agreed.

“This has irrevocably damaged his self-esteem! I hope you can live with yourself!” and with that, Mr. Motivation stomped out of my room, his face red, fists clenched, seemingly on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Self-esteem.

We don’t get it with a constant barrage of atta-boys. In his seminars, education specialist Nathan Levy refers to the Bogus Self-Esteem movement that’s overtaken our parenting techniques and school systems. I’ve seen it first-hand throughout the years. Sure, we want our kids to be rewarded and recognized, but we’ve lost sight of the fact that they must actually put forth a little effort in order to truly succeed.

When I began my consulting practice, a young woman approached me in need of help. She’d just graduated from college and was working in retail. She couldn’t understand why some major corporation didn’t snatch her up and pay her six figures right off the bat. I had to take a tough-love approach and point out the following to her:

1. She was on the verge of being fired from the retail job due to tardiness and insubordination.

2. Her flip-flops and crop top didn’t necessarily scream President of the Company

3. She didn’t know how to shake my hand, nor could she make eye contact with me during our first few meetings

4. She had difficulty expressing herself verbally, her speech peppered with ‘uh, oh, um’

I discovered that she had received a great deal of recognition in school, as did her classmates. He parents split up after she left home because they shared nothing in common anymore (“They really did dote on me,” she revealed). I also learned that this young woman was incredibly bright, possessed an awful lot of potential, but had never acquired the tools in order to truly succeed in the world.

I worked with this young woman for a while, and am happy to report that she did eventually get it all together. She’s not a CEO, but seems pretty happy in her mid-level-management position. Had she learned the value of hard work, responsibility, accountability, and good manners while growing up, she could have tackled it all much sooner.

As adults, it’s our duty to provide our children with the proper tools to help them get though life. We must show them that working hard will pay off in some sort of fashion. We must insist they get involved in the community. We must let them know early on that they won’t always be recognized for their good efforts. We must reveal to them that, while they are important to us, they don’t rule the world.

I ran into Mr. Motivation not too long ago. He grumbled a terse ‘hello’ and kept on walking. I’m tempted to write him and tell him his lack of acknowledgment ruined my self-esteem. I’m being facetious; my self-esteem is just fine, thank you very much. I don’t need Mr. Motivation’s accolades.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

My e-book, First Style Guide for Girls, is on sale now! Proceeds to benefit Citizens for Animal Protection.

April's Good Buys

2010-04-01T05:42:00.000-07:00

Jokes abound on April Fools’ Day, but none of them are near as bad a joke as the idea of bathing suit shopping. Yet now is the time, dear friends, to unbundle and give it a go. Yes, some of us are still winter-pasty and some of us have yet to lose those few pounds gained back over the holidays, but April is honestly the best time to score the best suits of the season.

Swimwear shopping is like no other; you must prepare yourselves. I’ve got a few tips I’d like to offer to help you get through it:

1. Use some kind of self-tanner – apply it a few days before you shop. Even a minimal shade will make a world of difference.

2. Fix your hair and apply your makeup – it sounds silly, I’m sure, but when you’re in a changing room with just your body and bad lighting, bad hair and no makeup will only dampen your mood.

3. Wear shoes with a slight heel – this elevates and elongates the legs, and forces your posture into position. Good posture = confidence, and boy, do we need all the confidence we can get when trying on swimsuits!

4. Don’t shop if you’re suffering from PMS – Crankiness and bloating can devastate even the most confident shopper. Stay home and eat chocolate that day.

5. Avoid hairy-scary situations – you won’t sell yourself on the suit when you’ve a forest sprouting from your legs, armpits, and other bits. Shave or wax; you’ll feel much better about yourself.

Other items to seek out this month include skirts and summer shoes. It’s a big month for summer shipments of almost everything. Take inventory first of what your really need, make a list, and stick to your budget. Good luck and have fun!

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

ps..My book, First Style Guide for Girls, is now available! Proceeds go to charity. Details on my website!

My Dad's Belt

2010-03-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

I’ve absolutely fallen in love with the Boho Chic look that’s currently all rage. I tend to lean a bit more classically when it comes to my wardrobe, but there’s something to be said for playing with new colors, discovering easier fabrics, and incorporating bolder patterns and accessories. Really, that’s what style is all about, in my humble opinion: knowing what works for you while not fearing the addition of new twists.

As I researched the Boho Chic trend, I visualized what I already had in my closet that might work for me. The first item that occured to me isn’t actually mine, though; it’s an old belt that belonged to my late father. It’s a tobacco-hued leather – nothing fancy or expensive – and bears a pewter buckle that reads Prairie Cattle Company, Tulia and features a little engraved prairie dog right in the center.

I only recall my dad wearing the belt a few times when I was a small child. He worked at the cattle company for a short while before becoming the grain lord of Castro County (that’s in the Texas Panhandle, by the way; it has nothing to do with Cuba). I’d actually forgotten all about the belt until after he passed. I discovered it while sorting through his things and grabbed it without giving it much thought – just a keepsake, something to have that was his. It never occurred to me that five years later I’d sport the darn thing as my ‘newest wardrobe acquisition’. Of course, I had to get it fitted, and I’ve absolutely fallen in love with it.

I wore it the other day as I assisted an older woman in putting together her spring wardrobe. We were inside a local boutique sorting through belts when she looked at mine and asked, “Where can I find one like the one you’re wearing?” I explained the story behind it. Tears welled up in her eyes as she proclaimed, “Honey, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard!”

I never considered that my wearing it would ever be ‘sweet’. ‘Cheap’ actually came to mind first because I didn’t want to go out and buy a new belt. ‘Unique’ crossed my thoughts because, after all, nobody else has a belt like this. ‘Comical’ also popped into my head because I know that my dad is somewhere getting quite a kick out of it, laughing and shaking his head, wondering why on earth I’d want to wear that old thing.

Well, Daddy, I wear it for three reasons: a) it’s cool and works smashingly well with the new boots I just got, b) it really falls into fashion right now, and c) it was yours. I appreciate you for not tossing it out on one of your rare tossing-out binges. It’s awesome beyond words – just like its original owner.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
www.newmanimage.info
Look,feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Repainting the Barn

2010-03-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, I witnessed a woman reapplying her lipstick. Her husband looked at her and said, “The barn sure does look better with a fresh coat of paint.” At the time, I thought it funny that he compared his wife to a barn. Looking back, it’s a little sad, but I think he meant well by it. And his phrase about the new coat of paint stuck with me….

Chalk it up to spring fever (particularly following a REAL winter down here in Houston), but this is the time of year in which I ‘repaint the barn’ by taking a very careful inventory of my current style. I’m discovering that certain outfits I bought just a year ago simply don’t work for me anymore, my winter skin-care regimen must be replaced, and it’s time to lighten up in certain areas (my hair), and darken others (hello, tan!) I’m also taking heed of new makeup tips thrown my way.

Evolving is part of life, and while it’s important to grow as humans, I think it’s equally important to grow in style. You haven’t changed a bit is not a phrase I want to hear.

Does that make me a vain person? Yes, of course it does – I’ll own up to the fact that I’m probably far too focused on how I present myself to others than I should be.

Trust me, though, on this: there’s a certain rush that comes from tweaking one’s look. An incredible excitement comes into play when we try a new lipstick, wear a color other than black, and go bold with a new haircut.

Of course, my outlook on style need not mirror your outlook on style. Your priorities may be far different than mine. I do, however, encourage you to utilize this wondrous time of year and at least reflect upon your current look and perhaps consider ‘repainting the barn’.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Girls' Games

2010-03-11T05:30:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine who manages an all-female staff recently shared soap-opera-worthy stories from her office: betrayals, lies, unfairness, whining, underhandedness, and such. “Well, when you’re dealing with women,” she said, “you’re bound to have drama.”

Excuse me?

I didn’t know whether to laugh or throw my drink in her face. Laughing would have been rude, and I hate to waste a good glass of wine, so I let it go.

As a woman who has always been a little worker bee, I found her proclamation absurd and highly offensive. It’s a myth that women can’t get along in the workplace simply because they are women. It’s a cop-out to merely chalk it up to ‘girls’ games’ rather than get to the root of the issue. (The issue in this case seems to be lack of teamwork, lack of respect for one’s colleagues, and lack of respect for oneself – how dare any woman run the risk of being categorized in such a way)

I have worked with women who’ll resort to certain tools to get their own way at work, but trust me: I’ve worked with just as many men who’ve done the same.

I’ve never liked gender stereotyping. I find it appalling when wives speak ill of their husbands and then wrap up their tirade with, “Well, that’s a man for you!” I found my friend’s observation (or lack thereof) regarding her female staff ignorant.

My first job was as a disc jockey at a radio station. I was twenty-years-old and the only female member of the staff. When he hired me, the program director of the station actually said, “Well, we need a girl. We may as well have a pretty one.” I vowed right then to work just as hard as the boys. As it turned out, I worked a lot harder than most of the boys. I was a team-player, hell-bent on doing what was best for the station. I was kind, never complained unless I had a solution to offer, and never allowed the stresses of the job or my personal life get in the way of doing my best each day. I was a kid, but I already knew what it meant to be a professional.

In my latter years of teaching middle school, a female colleague approached me with concerns about a male teacher whom she felt was not tending to his students properly. He never took lunch count in the morning, never monitored the kids at recess, and always – always was late in submitting paperwork and grades. “Well, it’s because he’s a man, I suppose,” she said. “No,” I responded, “it’s because he’s lazy and has no business teaching here.” That’s probably not the most professional thing I could have said, but it was true. We had several men on staff who actually took care of business beautifully. To describe this guy’s behavior as a ‘guy thing’ was a complete disservice to the other guys.

But I’ll let the boys worry about their own. Ladies, it’s you I want to address. How can we keep from being categorized as drama queens while at work? Here’s my Top Ten:
1. Don’t cry in front of anyone
2. Don’t pout, yell, scream, or curse
3. Don’t use your looks to get what you want
4. Treat each of your colleagues with the utmost respect
5. Take issues you have with someone to that someone confidentially
6. Show up on time and dress the part
7. Be honest and forgiving
8. Leave your problems at home at home.
9. Work hard and take pride in all that you do
10. Remember, unless you own the company, you are an employee - a team member, who must play the game fair or run the risk of being eliminated. Everyone is replaceable at work.

As women, I think we have to work a little harder – and a little smarter – in order to kill the idea that we as a group don’t play nice at the office.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

The Seeds We Sow

2010-03-08T06:38:00.001-08:00

We reap what we sow. This is something we hear as children, but of course it never registers completely until we reach a certain age and gain a little experience.

Unfortunately, some people, though aware of this concept, never really take it to heart.

Not too long ago, I encountered a man who, according to several reliable sources, throws a great deal of negativity into his world. He’s verbally abusive, quick to judge, and makes snap decisions based on “What’s in it for me?” rather than “How will this benefit everyone involved?” Needless to say, he’s not respected nor much liked by the majority of those who know him, which is unfortunate. Oddly enough, however, he thinks that he is, which is sad.

This poor man has no idea of who he really is and how he’s perceived. He’s yet to develop the tools for gaining true happiness and success. He claims to be enlightened, but he isn’t. He’s driven purely by his ego, and is genuinely surprised when things don’t go his way. He’s yet to make the connection that the unpleasantness and hostility he’s bestowed upon others comes directly back to him. When obstacles appear, he’s angered and plays the victim. It’s apparent to those of us in-the-know understand what’s happening, but this poor soul just doesn’t get it.

Happiness and success come when we tap into our authentic selves. This takes reflection, honesty, and time. We must check our ego at the door and let go of those negative thoughts that only weigh us down. With an understanding of our true self, we are free to pursue our passions, free to live happily, and free to sow those good seeds that will help others succeed.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Complements

2010-03-04T05:19:00.001-08:00

In Emile Zola’s short story, Complements, we as readers get a tongue-in-cheek look at the price of beauty. In it, Parisian woman seek the services of old Durandeau, who owns an agency that rents out less attractive girls. The theory behind Durandeau’s scheme is simple, really: women will appear more beautiful if they’re accompanied by an unattractive companion. The business proves to be a smashing success for all, except, of course, the hired “complement”. At the end of the day she removes her finery, stares in the mirror located in her tiny apartment, and realizes she’s nothing more than a pawn in the game of attraction.

Though a work of fiction, Zola’s story sheds a light on the ugly business of beauty. Women and men spend thousands of dollars every year on creams, serums, and potions to battle the signs of aging and to conceal alleged imperfections. Botox is mainstream, and it’s quite easy these days to have something removed or inflated all in the quest for attractiveness.

How did we get here? And why are so many of us starting to look the same?

I love what Simon Doonan has to say about it all in his book, Eccentric Glamour. Doonan, the creative director for Barney’s New York, questions the current “Bleached, Botoxed, Booby” look that is so prevalent today. He encourages us to embrace our own style and to (gasp) have fun with it!

I guess what it boils down to is confidence.

Knowing oneself sure makes it easy to don something that others may view as unfashionable. That same self-awareness makes it okay to keep that bump on the nose, or to allow those wrinkles to form. Focusing inward certainly takes the pressure off what’s going on outside.

Too bad the ladies in Complements didn’t realize this. So sad that so many don’t realize it today.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

March's Good Buys!

2010-03-01T15:29:00.001-08:00

If you’ve not already taken inventory of your spring/summer couture and accessories, now is the time to do so. Don’t you dare shop for new items until you’ve done this!

Once you’ve made your assessment, take note of items that you’ll most likely need:

Denims – I’ve recently fallen back in love with denim (after a long hiatus from wearing any, practically). There’s no denying its appeal. It truly is one of the most flexible fabrics out there. One could wear a pair of jeans with anything; dress them up or down depending on the occasion. Denim is in full swing now at the stores, so you’ll find a bigger selection.

We must be careful with fit, though. What works for one gal won’t work for another:

Waistband – A wider waistband can flatter a slightly fuller tummy.

Rise – Aim for a style that’s solidly below your belly button. Superlow styles wax and wane.

Hem – A slight flare is easiest for most body types. It balances wider hips.

Wash- The darker the wash, the better, but I’d avoid black jeans altogether. Dark navy is much more chic.

Pockets – Believe it or not, pocket size and placement are a big deal. Too-small pockets placed far apart will give the impression of a larger caboose, and none of us want that, do we? Be careful of side-pockets. Insure there’s no unflattering hip-widening gap (if so, just stitch up the pocket)

Length – longer is better, particularly if you wear heels.

March is also a good time to buy special occasion dresses for graduations, bridal showers, weddings, etc. Don’t forget the shoes!

You’ll also want to invest in a good pair of shades this month that will carry you through the end of summer.

Some of us may still feel the bitter cold of winter, but the spring and summer shopping is heating up now – take advantage of it! If you’re in the Houston area, I’d love to help you get your warm-weather look on – give me a shout! For those not in Houston, feel free to check out Newman Image All Access at www.newmanimage.info.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Successful Surroundings

2010-02-25T05:33:00.000-08:00

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with (Jim Rohn)

So that’s why parents tell their children they don’t want them hanging around ‘those kids’! They know that kids (and adults) become like the people with whom they spend the most time. Herein lies the importance, my friends, to select our companions carefully, to spend time with uplifting and successful people, and to do our best to keep those psychic vampires at bay.

In order to obtain any form of success, it’s vital that we surround ourselves with those who live successfully. You may think to yourself that you don’t know anyone who could truly be considered successful, but bear in mind that success is more than a big-shot title and monetary wealth. Success comes from self-awareness, and in one’s choosing happiness over anger, in one’s choosing satisfaction rather than a feeling of longing. Successful people are certainly not members of the Woe is Me club!

As you strive toward personal development, it’s absolutely vital to avoid psychic vampires at all cost. It is better to spend time alone than to spend time with people who will hold you back with their victim mentality and mediocre standards. Turn off the mainstream media with its message of doom and gloom. Avoid reality television with its confusing definitions of achievement. Stop comparing yourself to others. They’ve chosen their paths; it’s time for you to choose your own.

I encourage you to make a conscious effort today to surround yourself with positive, nourishing, and uplifting people. Seek out those who will believe in you and support you…those who will applaud your victories. These are the possibility thinkers, the visionaries, and the dreamers who understand the power of positive reinforcement.

Respect

2010-02-22T16:06:00.001-08:00

I once attended an awards luncheon in which a presenter, frustrated by the audience’s whispered mumbles and occasional cell phone beeps, raised her voice and curtly asked, “Could I get your respect, please?”

She didn’t receive our respect that day. She did, however, manage to silence the crowd with that question, but as far as garnering any venerability, I can safely tell you she did not.

Now, don’t get me wrong. One of my pet peeves is a noisy audience, but I’ve attended plenty of functions and know that there are better ways in which to settle a crowd.

I learned a long time ago that those who ask for respect are generally the ones who don’t deserve it. Certain people feel entitled to it because of their job, their economic status, or the art they create. They hide behind the façade of particular titles, letting those titles define who they are.

I don’t respect the manager who loses his temper and belittles his employee. I respect the employee who continues to plug away at the job, pleased with the product she creates, refusing to let the manager’s harsh words affect her.

I don’t respect the group of wealthy, suburban soccer moms who allow their children to wreak havoc in restaurants following a game. I respect the busboy who cleans up after them.

I don’t respect the performer who becomes angry when the audience doesn’t “get” the message he’s trying to convey. I respect the performer who gives it his all every night and is grateful for his audience and for the opportunity to perform.

No one is entitled to respect. Everyone has the opportunity to deserve it, though.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Revelations from the Fitting Room

2010-02-18T07:07:00.000-08:00

A friend asked me the other day how image consulting and life coaching work together. “After all, one’s pretty shallow, and the other’s quite deep,” he quipped. I laughed in spite of myself, and explained my personal philosophy (one I completely stole from What Not to Wear’s Clinton Kelly): how we dress tells the world how we expect to be treated. I added the caveat: our thoughts, words, and actions tell the Universe how we expect to be treated.

Women tend to reveal deep, dark secrets in fitting rooms, and not just the type that involves lumps, bumps, scars, and sad underwear. Gals tend to purge a few things while trying on clothes and discovering new looks. “I love it, but there’s no way Bob will let me wear it.” What else does Bob dictate? I wondered. “I just don’t feel comfortable in bright colors; I’m much more comfortable in black.” Why are you afraid of getting noticed? I pondered. “I should not spend this much money on a shirt.” Why don’t you feel worthy? I mused. Anyway, by the time I leave most fitting rooms, I know far more than a woman’s age, rank, and bra size.

I really believe our style represents our authentic selves. What’s happening on the outside is a pretty good indicator of what’s going on inside, usually. I suppose once I’ve seen someone practically naked, she feels comfortable enough with me to discuss things that she won’t easily discuss with someone else.

I take a great deal of pride in my work. It’s about empowering others, really, and it’s a real kick for me to assist them in taking control of their lives. We only get one life, you know. Why not frolic through it joyfully while feeling as fabulous as we look?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Peace Comes

2010-02-15T04:53:00.000-08:00

Peace comes with doing the right thing. Peace comes when one knows she’s made the right decision. Peace comes with self-knowledge, self-love, and self-respect.

We feel it when we’ve successfully fought the good fight. We feel it when we when we finally become detached to an outcome and are simply content to be. We feel it when we put fears aside and follow our dreams…our passions.

Peace and abundant living go hand-in-hand. It’s a choice – we can choose to learn about and love ourselves. We can choose fulfillment over drudgery. We can choose to surround ourselves with positive people and experience their positive energy.

We have unlimited potential, and we have power. We realize that potential, we tap into that power….and peace comes.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

The Unhappy Hour

2010-02-11T05:30:00.000-08:00

Cathy started a new job a couple of months ago. One Friday afternoon, she and her colleagues gathered for drinks after work. She was quite looking forward to the happy hour, for she had developed a great deal of respect for her coworkers and, in particular, her boss. The boss’s wife would join them, which made Cathy even happier as she’d never met the wife before.

One drink led to another that afternoon. Bemusement turned to genuine concern as Cathy witnessed many of colleagues behaving in a less-than-professional manner. Sure, she’d joined in happy hours at other jobs she’d worked, but she’d never seen anything like this. Raucous conversation permeated the room. Voices grew louder. Soon, Cathy felt a bit embarrassed to be seen in such company. Pub patrons gave her table dirty looks, and one gentleman even approached them to ask if they might hold it down. Cathy’s boss quite loudly – and quite explicitly, told the guy what he could do with his request.

Then the boss turned to Cathy and proceeded to tell her everything that was right – and wrong – with her body. Shock overcame her and she excused herself to the ladies’ room. There, she ran into the boss’s wife, who was barely able to stand after so many martinis. Hoping to sneak out of the pub, Cathy now felt a responsibility for getting the boss’s wife back to the table. I’ll just take her back and make a quick exit, Cathy thought. And that’s just what she did. Once the wife was more or less settled, Cathy grabbed her purse and said goodbye. No one heard her, though. They were laughing at the boss’s joke – one that poked fun at a colleague’s religion. Yes, the colleague was sitting right there with the same expression Cathy imagined she’d had earlier in the evening.

Cathy had to do some serious soul-searching that night. Could she continue to work for a man who, after a few drinks, became, in essence, a bully? Should she confront him about his derogatory comments to her? Would she have the courage to avoid colleagues on a social basis?

Cathy’s no prude, nor am I. I love social gatherings just as much as anyone, but when it comes to office ‘do’s, there are definitely some don’ts involved:

Don’t treat it as your college keg parties. You’re an adult now; behave like one.

Don’t linger longer than an hour, and keep it to one or two drinks. (Besides, leaving early lends an element of mystique about you, especially if you don’t tell your colleagues where you’re going)

Don’t allow a colleague – even your boss – to get away with inappropriate comments. A simple, “I really don’t appreciate that,” will hopefully suffice. Mentioning an attorney might do the trick, too. If not, seek employment elsewhere – immediately.

It takes years to build a good reputation, and only moments to tear one down. Never compromise your integrity. Professionally or personally.

The Top 10 Ways to be Fabulous

2010-02-08T05:05:00.000-08:00

As a longtime fan of David Letterman, I depend on him each evening to provide me with a chuckle before bedtime. His Top 10 Lists do it for me every time, so I thought I’d put my own spin on them regarding something that’s near and dear to my heart: fabulousness! Here we go…..

10. Speak less, listen more.

9. Avoid wearing crocs

8. Put on a little lipstick before heading to the store

7. Say ‘thank you’ throughout the day

6. Realize that you may, in fact, be somebody’s role model and live your life accordingly

5. Invest in quality rather than quantity in your wardrobe

4. Refuse to let the past dictate who you are. Focus on the present. Remain hopeful for the future

3. Stay away from reality TV

2. Feel grateful for what you do have rather than frustration for what you don’t have

1. Choose to live passionately rather than stagnantly

As I put this together, I realize there are many more I could have added. These will do…at least for now.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Catty Behavior

2010-02-04T05:35:00.001-08:00

An incident occurred in the Newman house last night.

As I walked through my office, my handsome boy, Kramer, snuck in underneath me and I accidentally stepped on his paw. He yelped in that sad, angry way that cats do when these things happen. From out of nowhere our little princess, Tallulah Belle appeared, wide-eyed and ready to take some sort of action. She gave me an almost guttural mew – the one she saves for stray cats who visit our patio. Then, she lunged toward Kramer, attempting to bite him.

I assured her all was well, and eventually the three of us made up. It got me thinking, though, about how we as humans tend to resort to an almost animal-like instinct when we’re confused or frightened.

Tallulah Belle could not fully understand the situation – that’s just the way cats are wired. She was merely reacting from her gut. We’re rational beings, however, with the capacity for assessment and we have the power to choose our reactions to problematic situations. Oftentimes we don’t utilize this power. We choose to react negatively and lash out toward those we love without understanding that it’s completely within our control to handle life’s bumps with grace and dignity.

I encourage you today to really think about the challenges you face and to consider your actions carefully before striking out the way Tallulah Belle did. She can’t help her reactions, but we can surely take possession of ours.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

A Happy Sort of Relationship

2010-02-01T05:33:00.000-08:00

An acquaintance recently told me that February is the ‘month of love’. I innocently asked, “Shouldn’t every month be one of love?” She glowered at me as if I’d coughed up a hair ball. It got me thinking, though, about love, relationships, significant others, and so forth, and made me realize just how easy it is for people to place extremely high expectations on their beloved, and how easy it is for them to display an incredible amount of disrespect toward him or her.

So, I’ve devised a little list of helpful hints for insuring a positive and loving relationship with your honey:

1. Look the part – It pains me to witness someone who uses marriage as an excuse to let herself go. That special someone deserves to see you at your best, even during those lovely, lazy days spent at home. Trade in those oversized sweat pants for a good pair of jeans or trousers of the yoga-variety. Wear a fitted T-shirt instead of his old work shirt. Put on a little lipstick before he gets home from work. Watch your weight (he certainly is). You might find that he’ll be less likely to let himself go if you remain hot and happening.

2. Do your thing, so long as it doesn’t become a thing – We all need outlets and hobbies away from our beloved. Do make sure that she is on board with what you like to do. Harmless cross-dressing is one thing; smoking crack is quite another. Never allow your thing to come between you and your darling. It really boils down to respect for her feelings.

3. In sickness and in health – even if your turtle-dove is a raging hypochondriac, you must take his health concerns to heart and offer support in any way you can. Never pooh-pooh his aches, pains, or moods (Side note: if he bemoans aches and pains every day, or seems to be in some sort of mental funk, realize it may be a symptom of something deeper, and talk it over with him)

4. Avoid trash-talk – I’m incredibly bothered when someone badmouths his better-half. A little kidding around about her predilections is one thing; constantly complaining about every little thing she does is not. In business, we’re taught that if we have an issue with a colleague, we should take it up with that colleague before running to management or other co-workers. Shouldn’t the same rule apply to marriage?

5. The Golden Rule – when it comes right down to it, we must focus on treating our spouse/significant other/longtime companion the way in which we’d like to be treated. Don’t expect to be treated like a queen if you treat your beloved like a commoner. What goes around comes around.

Let’s make every month/day/hour/minute/second about love, shall we?

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

The Big Bang Theory

2010-01-28T06:34:00.000-08:00

Gloom, despair and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me.

Oh, my lord – I’ve resorted to quoting from Hee Haw.

But I do it to make a point.

Too often, people merely sit around in tattered overalls sipping their moonshine from jugs waiting for something big to happen. (Okay, maybe not in overalls and perhaps no moonshine’s involved, but bear with me – I really intend to go somewhere with this)

They spend a tremendous amount of time thinking, If only I made X amount of dollars. If only I could lose X number of pounds. If only I could find a man. Then, all would be right with the world.

Of course, disappointment sets in because their desires were not manifested. Usually, this turns to bitterness, and ultimately these folks find themselves living in a constant state of negativity.

Here’s the lesson, boys and girls: things don’t just happen – we have to make them happen.

Our actions, thoughts, words, and even the way in which we present ourselves to the world determine just what will – and what won’t – happen.

In other words, we must dress the part and assume the role of a successful, happy individual in order to achieve or receive anything good. Sometimes this takes a little acting on our parts: we won’t always wake up in a good mood and rejoice in our tedious jobs, cluttered homes, insolent children, or detached spouses. However, we do have the power to readjust our mindset: yes, I have a viable source of income, a roof over my head, and am blessed with family. If we feel gratitude for what we do have, rather than a longing for what we don’t, that job won’t seem so bad, the kids won’t grate on your nerves so much, and that spouse…well, you may find he’s not so bad after all.

We must also discover elements of bigness in the little things. Rather than proclaiming, Oh, I can’t wait for (whatever it is one waits for) to happen!, we must relish small pleasures and each little blessing throughout the day: a quiet cup of coffee, a stroll through the neighborhood, an opportunity to merely chat with a friend.

We are magnets. Everything occurring right now is a result of our attitude and actions.

Those guys from Hee Haw sang that song every week for twenty years. Nothing changed. They didn’t relish in the fact that pretty girls surrounded them, ‘shine flowed like water, and Buck Owens was a resident of Cornfield County for a very long time – that’s good stuff, my friends!

The power for change lies within us, if we only focus on the positive and possess a clear vision for what we truly want out of life.

There is no big bang, but there are an awful lot of little bangs that go unnoticed.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

The Herd

2010-01-25T06:35:00.001-08:00

I’m not sure who Heidi Montag is, or why she’s famous, but I can tell you one thing: she doesn’t look like she did a year ago.

The other night, Kent and I snuggled in to watch The Late Show with David Letterman. When Dave’s guest, Claire Danes, took the stage, Kent commented, “She looks just like everyone else in Hollywood.”

What has Bruce Jenner done to himself?

I’m all for a subtle tweak here and there, but I fear our society’s obsession with youth, big lips, uber-golden-locks, and disproportionate boobs has reached an all-time, outrageous high.

I base much of my business on helping others look their best. I preach the gospel of Jackie O. Yet I’ve never suggested anyone go under the knife or have something injected in order to reach her style goals. People should look like …well…people.

I understand that celebrities must resort to certain measures in order to remain employable. In her book, Everything About Me is Fake and I’m Perfect, model Janice Dickinson discusses in great detail her ‘upkeep’ in order to keep working. With all due respect, Ms. Dickinson has crossed the line. Her once-gorgeous face now appears frozen, with only a slight hint of the beauty she once possessed. The same holds true for Meg Ryan. And I fear Nicole Kidman – one of my personal style role models – is dipping her toe a little too far into the scary plastic pool as well.

People with a little character to their faces appeal to me. My jaw literally dropped when Lauren Hutton guest-judged on last week’s Project Runway. She looked fabulous! Yes, lines have formed on her face, and yes, that famous gap between her teeth remains intact, but she possess a presence that so many models and actresses don’t.

And that’s what’s missing in the world of celebrity these days: a presence. It’s that sense of self-awareness and the ‘I’m somebody’ vibe that separates the delicious from the dull. It’s not about looking a certain way – it’s the confidence that one oozes when she (or he) knows she (or he) is fabulous.

Something tells me Ms. Montag, and so many like her, lacks that security. Thanks to reality TV and the internet, we live in an age where darn near everyone can achieve fame. As a result, those who may not necessarily have the talent to maintain that status may resort to some disturbing measures.

The overly-peroxided-blonde, big-boobed, bigger-lipped gals bore me to tears. I’ll take a flat-chested, red-haired Debra Messing over them any day. And while you’re at it, pass me Penelope Cruz’s nose and Catherine Zeta-Jones’s hips. Oh, I’ll take a few Mick Jagger crevices, too. Throw in a Tina Fey scar while you’re at it. It’s the little (and sometimes not-so-little) things, after all, that set us apart from the herd.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

An Open Letter to Parents

2010-01-21T06:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Parents,

I must preface this note by admitting to you that I don’t have children of my own. However, after teaching middle school for a good number of years, and because a good portion of my clients are children, I believe I am somewhat qualified to offer the following:

Many of your kids are much too loud in public.

I apologize if you take offense at this, but it’s true, and the rolled eyes and dirty looks thrown your way by others in restaurants, churches, and stores confirms my observations.

Last night, whilst enjoying a burger at my neighborhood spot, several of you sat on one side of the restaurant, and allowed your children to sit away from you. Granted, these children were old enough to sit alone (or so I thought). Those young people were unspeakably rude – their volume was much too loud and their conversation was questionable. You were too busy enjoying your $2 margaritas to notice, but I, and others, did. We were not amused.

A while back, you took a small group of children to one of my favorite haunts. You sat with them, but allowed them to run amok, make messes, and generally create chaos. You also left the mess for the busboy to clean, and I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t leave a tip.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love children – I absolutely adore them. I’ve dedicated a good portion of my life’s work to them. I need some help, though: I can’t teach them proper behavior if you don’t back me up on it.

Most likely, you simply don’t notice their shenanigans, and I understand – they may, in fact, behave far worse at home, and their raucous actions in public are actually a break for you. I gently remind you, though, that your family is not the only one frequenting these places. Please show respect for other patrons by expecting your children to behave in a civilized manner.

Years ago, I had the very good fortune to accompany a group of middle school students to Italy. While strolling through the quiet, lovely streets of Florence, I lost my cool vibe when I was forced to tell one of my students to lower her voice. Her mother stood right next to her as she wailed, moaned, and generally made a spectacle of herself. Mom didn’t say a word, so it was up to Mrs. Newman to do so. Mom then took me to task for not allowing her daughter to express herself.

Please trust me, Mom; no one finds your daughter quite as amusing as you do.

Again, my apologies for the harsh tone. I really do love your children; I simply ask that we join forces to instill in them good manners, and the recognition that the world does not revolve around them.

Kindest regards,

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
Newman Image
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Common Ground

2010-01-18T14:51:00.000-08:00

Great relationships exist due to one thing: a shared outlook.

It’s true for any relationship: romantic, family, friendly, working, and such. Too often, relationships fail because they were never really based on common ground. Perhaps, initially, common ground existed, but one, or both parties, changed over the course of time. This happens. That’s why I think it’s vital for each of us to learn – sooner rather than later – who we really are, what we stand for, and where our passions lie.

Too often, relationships fail because many of us depend upon others for our happiness. We ultimately set ourselves up for failure when we rely on another person to make us happy. We must take ownership for our own happiness in order to succeed in any relationship. Yes, my husband brings indescribable joy to me each day; however, we were both happy individuals before we met. Finding each other was merely icing on the cake. As a result, we bring out the best in each other, through love, support, and yes, sharing the same priorities and outlook on life. Go, Team Newman!

It’s important to realize when an outlook is no longer shared. After a number of years, I left a job I initially loved because circumstances surrounding the job changed: it went from a mom-and-pop organization to a corporately owned institution. The family-like atmosphere no longer existed, and I was no longer comfortable there. In hindsight, I realize that my priorities there had changed over time, so it would be really unfair of me to place the entire blame on the corporation. Leaving was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, but it was the right decision for me.

The key to it all, of course, is self-awareness, and knowing what we truly want out of life, independent of people, situations, and stuff.

We must realize ‘when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em’. Hold on to those relationships that are based on a shared outlook. Keep those people around whose priorities are your own. Rid yourself of those relationships that simply won’t work for you.

Discover your own passion, and live your life accordingly. Take a stand for your beliefs. The right people and circumstances will find you, rest assured.

Beth Newman
Image Consultant/Life Coach
www.newmanimage.info
Look, feel, and LIVE your absolute best!

Review and Revive!

2010-01-11T12:07:00.000-08:00

What you wear tells the world how you expect to be treated. I love Clinton Kelly for that line, and I’ve adopted it when working with clients, friends, family, and myself. Here lies the cold, hard truth about the world: if you look like a train wreck, no one will take you seriously. I’m here to help, and, as this is a brand new year, I say let’s get this party started right now!

If you can convince yourself that you look fabulous, you can save yourself the trouble of primping – Andy Warhol

Plan your wardrobe a day in advance. Really study each garment to insure that it’s clean, wrinkle-free, and fits properly. If an item doesn’t make you feel fabulous, don’t wear it!

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork – Jonathan Swift

Fit is absolutely essential. We must really come to terms with our body shapes (It requires standing in front of a full-length mirror, naked, for a very long time. I realize this can be a painful process for some, but it’s vital – you can do it!).

Too many people simply beg for comfort, thus the oversized sweatpants and t-shirts that blast into our field of vision daily. My personal philosophy is this: if your goal when dressing is to feel as if you never got out of bed, then don’t -get out of bed, that is.

Additionally, there are no fewer falsehoods with apparel than that it is too small. I don’t know anyone who finds sausage casings attractive. Actually, it’s visually painful to see a woman bursting from her clothes.

Know your proportions and work with them. If you don’t know your proportions, call me!

Have a hairstyle that is flattering to some and offensive to few – Amy Sedaris.

I included this quote because it makes me giggle. However, unflattering hairstyles are no laughing matter, nor are untended nails. Spend some money and invest in a good haircut and weekly manis/pedis. This surely ups your style quotient.

When in doubt, wear red – Bill Blass. Not if it doesn’t suit you – Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine.

We take color for granted. Not everyone can wear every color of the rainbow. Certain hues may appear too harsh or wash us out completely. Know your colors! And if you don’t know your colors, revisit what I said about proportions.

You can’t have style without being inspired – Isaac Mizrahi

The first step toward style is knowing who you really are, and know what gets you going. Find a style role model (mine are Jackie Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn). Before dressing each day, ask yourself, “Would Jackie wear this?” or “Would Audrey pair this belt with those shoes?” Study your role model diligently, and try to think like her. If your role model has ever appeared on reality TV, or in public without her underwear, please reconsider your choice.

Evolving your style is good for your psyche. Knowing yourself and dressing the part results in sheer fabulousness in all areas of your life, as far as I’m concerned. Simon Doonan asks, “Why wouldn’t you want to be one of the fabulous people, the life-enhancers, the people who look interesting and smell luscious and dare to be gorgeously more fascinating than their neighbors?”

Well, why wouldn’t you?

The Role of a Role Model

2010-01-08T08:39:00.001-08:00

In one of those sad magazines I’m addicted to, I happened upon an interview with actress Megan Mullally, who portrayed the awful – and awfully funny – Karen Walker on Will and Grace. In the article, Ms. Mullally recalled a fan who joyfully told her that people often compare her to Karen. Ms. Mullally’s response: why on earth would you want them to do that?

For those of you who didn’t watch the show, Karen Walker was an uber-rich alcoholic, pill-popping, mean-spirited woman. She did, however, spout off some of the show’s most memorable and hilarious lines – the character’s only saving grace. I say character because that’s what she was: a work of fiction, the creation of someone else’s imagination.

She was not, nor ever should be, considered a role model.

A role model must be someone we admire and whose traits we strive to adopt as our own. We should feel some sort of connection to our role model. Sure, we can select a fictional role model, so long as she possesses something that’s real -compassion, wit, charm, etc. We must prepare ourselves, though, for any fall-out that might occur should we place certain expectations upon our selection.

Years ago, after the release of Bridget Jones’ Diary, several women I know jumped on the Bridget bandwagon. They felt connected to her because Bridget was a ‘real woman’ who struggled with the same issues that they did: social-awkwardness, dating, weight struggles, etc. Bridget gave them hope that they, too, would find their Mark Darcy (smart, handsome, charming). Problems arose, however, when Mark Darcy didn’t show (one friend called me in tears upon discovering that Colin Firth, the actor who portrayed Mark, was actually married to the absolutely stunning Italian filmmaker, Livia Giuggioli). I gently explained the difference between movies and real-life. In real-life, Bridget never would have stood a chance with Mark – harsh, but true.

Let’s keep an element of reality with regard to our role models, and focus only on those characteristics toward which we aspire. Let those characteristics include charm, grace, and intelligence. Strive to find someone who contributes positively to society. Strive to find someone who’s never appeared on reality TV. Strive always to be your best, for you may very well wind up being someone else’s role model someday.